Balance
by NotSoJollywood
Summary: Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The Force was all about balance, and yet neither of them knew exactly where they stood. WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE FORCE AWAKENS. Eventual Kylo/Rey.
1. Lost and Found

**Balance**

 **Summary:** Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The Force was all about balance, and yet neither of them knew exactly where they stood.

 **Author's Note:** Alright, I caved. This is my first Star Wars fanfiction, most likely because I have always been so happy with the ending and the originals that I never felt the need to write any more. However having seen the new movie, I am just so consumed with different feelings and a desire to know what comes next. So, until 2017, this will just have to do.

As a fair warning, the pairing in this story will eventually be Kylo/Rey. I know there are many people who are against this ship, and have a wide variety of reasons for that. But I warned you.

Also, while I am not new to the Star Wars Universe, I have to admit that there is a lot I do not know. If I get something wrong, please let me know. I am trying to be as true to the universe as possible, but I probably will slip up.

* * *

 **Chapter One:** Lost and Found

The air was cooler than she expected it to be; the strong winds were whipping her hair all over the place. But Rey paid that no mind. Instead, she concentrated on the task ahead of her. Finding Luke Skywalker had proved to be no easy task, even with the complete map. The First Order was out there, searching for her and the rest of the Resistance. She had to be careful to make sure she was not followed. It had taken her five long weeks to finally reach her destination, as she was dodging First Order pilots in every corner of the galaxy. The last thing that she wanted to do was lead Kylo Ren directly to the location of Skywalker.

When she landed the Millennium Falcon on the island, she could sense something familiar about the place. She knew this island, from a distant memory of a childhood dream. She had no idea that such a place from her own imagination could be real, that she would one day actually see a planet covered in so much water. But then again, there were many things that were turning out to be real these days...

She left Chewbacca on the beach, with instructions to do his best to stay out of sight. While she could not understand or communicate the Wookiee completely, she could sense that he did not want her to complete this task alone. She smiled sadly at that; in the past few weeks, the Wookiee had become protective of her. Rey sensed it was because he was still grieving the loss of his companion, Han Solo. At the mere thought of Han, her heart began to ache. She did not know the man for very long, but she came to regard him as the father that she never had. She mourned the loss of his life, but she also mourned for her own loss – she would never get to know him better, or learn what he could teach her about the Falcon.

Rey pushed those thoughts from her mind. She had plenty of time to grieve; right now, she had a job to do. She began to concentrate, feeling the Force all around her. It was a sensation she was still getting used to. General Organa explained to her the basic ways of the Force; she was also sensitive to it. But, the General had explained, her brother was the one who knew the most about it. Luke Skywalker was the one who had the answers she needed.

" _You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force." His_ voice echoed in her head, and she did everything she could to chase any thought of him out of there. His face haunted her, turning her dreams into nightmares. Every night, he was there. Chasing her, controlling her, _tempting her._ She could not escape Kylo Ren, no matter how hard she tried to push him from her thoughts.

For the past few weeks, she did toyed with the idea of running away back to Jakku. She could live out the rest of her life, away from the Resistance or the First Order. From _him._ She could be anonymous, like she always intended to be. But, that was a plan for the other time. Right now, she had a Jedi to find.

Rey used her rudimentary skills to sense what she was supposed to do now. She reached the island, but she needed to find the Jedi who inhabited it. Without thinking too hard about it, she let the Force guide her. Her feet seemed to move on their own. Rey did not question it; she knew that she was supposed to trust her instincts.

And so, she let the mysterious Force guide her to the man who was supposed to have all of the answers…

* * *

Rey had been walking for what felt like days. Growing up in the deserts of Jakku, she was used to walking over dunes and through the endless seas of sand. However, this terrain was harsh and rocky. Her joints and muscles were not used to it, and after the first few hours she felt like giving up. After all, she did not even know if Skywalker was still on this planet. For all she knew, he could have left this star system years ago.

 _No, Rey._ She scolded herself, _you cannot give up. He_ has _to be here. He is our only hope._

Rey laughed out loud. Her only hope was a man that she did not even know. She was beginning to think that this entire mission was ridiculous. But she also could not help but think that this was something she was meant to do. Something _only_ she could do.

The words of Maz Kanata played over in her head, like a mantra.

" _Whatever you've been waiting for—whomever—I can see it in your eyes, you've known it all along…they're not coming back. But there's someone who still could. With your help."_

Rey was destined to bring back Luke Skywalker.

And so, her feet kept moving.

It was another hour, climbing up mountainous terrain, when she began to see the ruins. Passageways, doors, remnants of stairs. Ancient relics from the age of fairytales. Less than a month ago, Rey would have believed that the Jedi were a part of a story, told to teach children about the nature of good and evil. And yet, here she was. She could sense the power emanating from the ruins of the island. She could feel the Force around her, _within her._ With each passing ruin, Rey felt a new sense of vigor. Determination.

It was not five minutes later that she _felt_ something.

She could feel a presence on the island. She could sense that she and Chewbacca were not alone here. What was more, she knew that this presence was aware of her, as well. Rey's feet began to pick up their pace, desperate to find what she had been searching so long for.

It was a half hour later when she finally found what she came to the island for.

Atop the highest point on the island stood a hooded figure. Rey could sense that this was it; Luke Skywalker stood before her. And yet, she could not bring herself to say anything. In fact, she was scared. This was the Jedi who trained Kylo Ren. And yet, he was to be her salvation. Her heart was hammering. She had to wonder if this man could sense her fear. Somehow, she knew that he could.

Slowly, the figure turned around. Rey strained to get a good look at Skywalker's face. And yet, it was not until he pulled down the hood that she could truly see him. His face was lined with the signs of age and stress. His greying hair was blowing in the harsh winds. And yet, his eyes were filled with the wisdom of someone who had seen so much battle and had lost so much.

Rey had never been much of a talker throughout her life. Seclusion on a desert planet would do that to a person. And yet, she had a million things she wanted to ask the man before her. Simultaneously, she could not manage to get the words out. They seemed to get caught in the back of her throat. Instead, she did the only thing she could think to do. She reached into the bag that she had carried all the way up the mountain; she pulled out the item that was the heaviest load she bore throughout this journey.

She held out the lightsaber.

Seconds passed. Then a minute. For Rey, it felt like an eternity. The old man standing before her betrayed no emotion through his features. He stood stoic, as if he was unaffected by the object held out in front of him. Through her mind, Rey willed him to take it. She needed him to. She could not imagine having to go back, and face General Organa and let her know that she had failed her mission. That she failed to bring Luke Skywalker back home.

That was when she felt it. A tug on her arm. And then, another one. She felt the lightsaber move ever so slightly under her grip. Instinctively, she released her hold on the weapon. Instead of falling directly to the floor, it flew across the top of the mountain and into Skywalker's hands. She watched as the Jedi looked in wonder at the object, before fully unleashing the power inside of it.

Rey stood speechless, in awe of the sight before her. This was Luke Skywalker, the one who brought down the Empire.

It was a few more moments before either of them said anything.

Skywalker was the one who broke the silence first, "You should not have come here."

"Sir," Rey began, "I bring a message from your sister, General Organa."

"Leia," His words came out as a half-whisper. Rey could hear the pain that was so clearly evident in his voice. She could only wonder what could have happened between the two of them that could have caused so much pain. "How is she doing?"

"She needs your help, sir," Rey frowned. Being so secluded, there was so much that he did not yet know. And Rey was going to be the one who had to tell him all of it. "The Resistance needs your help. They need you to come back and fight for them."

"Fight," Skywalker said the words almost wistfully. "No, that is not something that I can do for them. Not anymore."

"But you must!" Rey cried out, "We need you. The First Order has destroyed the Republic; they are seeping into every corner of the galaxy. You are the only one who can fix this. You are our only hope."

Rey could have sworn that she heard a chuckle come from the man, "No, I am not. Not anymore."

* * *

 _Not anymore._ What the hell did that even mean?

Rey resigned herself to sitting atop the mountain, contemplating the last words that the old man said to her. Skywalker had since disappeared somewhere else onto the island. Rey no longer cared; she truly thought that the man who she spent weeks trying to find was going to save them all. And yet, he flat out refused to help.

She failed her mission.

As the cool night are enveloped her, she built a small fire to keep warm. She would set up a small camp here tonight, and then make her way back down the mountain in the morning. As she stared into the flames, Rey closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the area around her. There was no doubt she was in an ancient, mystical place. She hoped to connect to the ancient Jedi ruins, and to get and sense of what she was supposed to do next.

"You feel a connection with this place as well," A voice broke through the silence, breaking Rey from her thoughts. "You could learn a lot from this place. I know that I have."

Rey looked up to see Luke Skywalker sitting on a ruin across from her. Her lips pursed into a frown; she did not yet know what to make the Jedi in front of her. "It does not matter. Chewbacca and I are headed back to the Resistance, soon enough."

"What is your name, child?" Skywalker asked, seemingly changing the subject.

"Rey," She swallowed as she answered.

"Rey," He repeated. She could have sworn that she saw a flicker of recognition fly across the old man's face. But he did not betray anything else, "You have a connection to the Force, Rey. Just like me."

"So it would seem," Rey mumbled, under her breath. In truth, she was still getting used to the idea of her connection with this power. It was not something that she had asked for, or ever dreamed of having. She would have been very content to live her life out on Jakku, waiting for her parents to come back for her. And yet, here she was, forced to face the fact that no one was coming to find her. And one of the people she felt the closest to was forever gone from the galaxy, murdered. And, now, Luke Skywalker was going to abandon the Resistance in their hour of need. Her life was quickly turning in to one disappointment after another.

"You have your doubts," Skywalker frowned, "I did as well,"

Rey shrugged, "I have seen what the Force can do to people. I do not know if I want to be a part of that."

"It scares you," He countered. Rey could curse him and his observant nature. "You have seen what you could become."

In her mind, Rey could see Kylo Ren. His offer to her at their last meeting played in her head. _I can show you the ways of the Force._

"What is more," Skywalker continued, "You have been tempted by it."

Rey looked up at the old man. How had he known that? She had not told anyone of that feeling, that temptation upon her last meeting with him.

"You have been alone, felt different, for all of your life. And, finally, you felt a connection to someone. Someone who could help you, who was like you." Rey tried to stifle her gasp; that had been e _xactly_ how she felt about Ren. She hoped that Skywalker could not see her reaction; she did not want anyone to know that.

"He is evil," Rey mumbled as she shook her head, "He is not like me at all."

"He is not all evil," Skywalker sighed, "He does not have to be. I failed him; it is all my fault."

Rey could not stifle the snort that came out of her at that moment, "Oh, he is all evil."

"He could be brought back." The old man breathed, "I tried, but I was not strong enough."

Rey swallowed hard, "There was nothing you could have done. He is dark to the core. He killed his own father,"

"Han?" She could have sworn that she heard the old man's voice break, "He killed Han?"

Rey could feel the tears welling in her eyes, "Han Solo wanted to bring him back. He tried to tell him that he could be good again. But that – that monster did not listen. He killed his own father in cold blood."

"Leia," Skywalker whispered; Rey barely heard him calling his sister's name. She could see the pain in his eyes. The longing to make things right with the sister he abandoned so long ago. Rey wondered if there was some way that she could use that to convince him to come back with him.

"She needs you, sir," Rey pleaded with him. "Come back with me, and help us to fight."

"I would only make things worse. I have failed as a Jedi Master,"

"I don't know if that is true or not," Rey replied, sighing, "I don't even know how much of this Jedi stuff I even believe right now. But I know that there are a lot of people out there that are looking to you. Just for some glimmer of hope in this god-forsaken galaxy. If you run away, and hide from them, they will lose their own will to fight. And only then you will have failed,"

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well, there you are! Please let me know what you think.

Also, I know this chapter is rather short. As the story picks up though they will get longer!


	2. Hide and Seek

**Balance**

 **Summary:** Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. Neither of them knew exactly where they stood.

 **Author's Note:** Oh, wow! I cannot believe the response that I have gotten to this story. It is actually quite overwhelming. I'm really excited that all of you out there seem to really enjoy this. I really appreciate all of the lovely reviews that you all have given me.

Today was hard! All I wanted to do was get back to this story. Alas, grading papers and creating lesson plans took precedence. However, every single time I had a thought for this story, I had to write it down. I really cannot wait for the major plot points to take off.

A special thank you to my amazing reviewers: DXRULES103, julamei, Jedi Kay-Kenobi, Tomas284, aei fyragh, sheepzus, ForeverDelighted, TheKatieBugg, shloop, cat, bluejustice13, omgitsalexmarie, Vader'sMistress, Tiara of Sapphires, Neurotic-Isopod, Guest, sherald92, Nity, The-Splatoon-Rook 64, RihLightd, and LillianC1. Seriously, your response is what made me want to get another chapter so quick!

Here are some quick responses:

Julamei: I'm glad you were hoping for some of that – because it's right here in this chapter! I like the idea of switching off – after all, this fic is called _Balance_ for a reason. It's an important, running theme!

TheKatieBugg: I feel the same way, so don't worry! I am going to take my time with those two. Also, there are so many more relationships that I also am planning to explore. Luke/Rey and Luke/Kylo for one! Not to mention dealing with was implied Rey/Finn throughout the whole movie! I want to do the universe justice, and that means focusing on a LOT more than just romance (even though that will be a main theme).

* * *

 **Chapter Two: Hide and Seek**

Rey woke up the next morning to the gentle wind kissing the sides of her cheeks. Blinking slowly, she let her eyes adjust to the incoming daylight. She must have dozed off at some point in the evening, after her conversation with the Jedi. Although she was sleeping on the cold, rocky ground, Rey had to admit that it was probably the best night's sleep that she had gotten in a while. The nightmares, _his_ face, did not creep into her dreams. Instead, she was at peace. She had to wonder if it was this place that calmed her nerves.

Somewhere, in the distance, Rey could hear a flock of birds. The sound of the animals brought her back to reality. She had no time for dreaming; she still had a mission to complete. Her eyes searched the immediate area for any sign of Skywalker. But the old man was nowhere to be found.

 _Just great,_ she groaned inwardly, _what a damn coward._

Rey had believed that she really had reached out to some part of the old man and had convinced him to return with her. He did not doubt her logic once, and did not refute any of her points. And, yet, he seemed scared to go back and face the people from his past. Rey still did not yet the full story of the Jedi's past; from what she could piece together, he blamed himself for what happened to Ren, and by extension, Han Solo. He refused to own up to it. _And yet he is the only one in the galaxy that can save us all._

"What a load of Gungan shit," She said out loud, to no one in particular. She did not want to let the Resistance down, but there was no way that she could get the cowardly old man to come back with her. He was too busy wallowing in his own failures to even try and make up for them. Rey shook her head, mumbling incoherently to herself. She began to pack up her makeshift campsite, determined to make it off of the island today.

It was not that she wanted to leave this mystical place. But she had people who were counting on her to return. _Finn_ was counting on her to return. Rey smiled at the thought of the former Stormtrooper. The last she had seen him, he was still unconscious and healing from his injuries. She had hoped that he would be awake upon her arrival, and on his way to a full recovery.

Rey fixed her hair, trying it out of her face so the wind would not whip it around as she made her way down the mountain. She was determined to return to the Resistance, with or without Luke Skywalker.

* * *

Rey found that walking down from the mountain top proved to be just as difficult as the trek up. She was constantly tripping, stumbling over missed steps or hidden rocks. After her most recent misstep, Rey found herself having to rest and to tend to a shallow cut on her shoulder. She wrapped the wound, cursing herself for being so damn clumsy. As a scavenger, she had learned to be agile. Navigating the inner workings of broken down ships was all in a day's work for her. And yet, here she was, tripping like a child over some damn rocks.

 _You must trust yourself._ Rey could hear a voice coming from the back of her head. The voice did not belong to her, and yet it sounded so familiar. And yet, Rey could not put her finger on it. _Trust your instincts._

Rey sighed heavily. She had never normally been the type of person to listen to the voices in her head. She knew some people on Jakku who often did that, and it led to more trouble than Rey thought it could be worse. And yet, this time it was different. This voice was familiar, and comforting, and wise. Rey trusted it.

 _Trust yourself._

Getting up, Rey set back on her path down the mountain. She watched her feet, being extra careful not to catch her foot on any of the rocks. With her eyes on her own two feet, it was too late when she realized that she collided directly with an ancient ruin. She let out a frustrated grunt that echoed through the remains of the hidden Jedi temple.

 _You must trust yourself, Rey._

Rey sighed, louder this time. She _did_ trust herself. How could she not?

 _Well, here goes nothing,_ Rey thought to herself as she shut her eyes. She felt absolutely ridiculous. But she concentrated on the area around her anyway. After a few long moments of silence, Rey picked up her foot. And then she began walking.

With her eyes closed, Rey walked down the mountain. She concentrated on the feelings around her, veering left or right when the moment felt right. She sensed when something was obstructing her path, and when she was in the clear. Rey could not help but smile. It was true, she felt ridiculous. But she also felt empowered, and in control.

Rey finally opened her eyes when she felt her feet hit the rocky sand. She smiled to herself; she had actually made it! Still smiling, she made her way over to the Falcon.

After boarding the ship, Rey found herself looking for her companion. She could feel that he was on board. But he was not alone.

 _Skywalker is here._

Rey smiled to herself; perhaps she should not have doubted him after all.

* * *

He wanted her.

No, it was not romantic. He did not have the capacity in him to be romantic; romance was a sure sign of weakness. And he was not weak, like his father was. He could not show affection, or love. Love is what cost people their power. That was not a part of him, nor was it his legacy. But, he wanted her by his side nonetheless. He wanted to _possess_ her. To own her soul, her spirit. To turn the light in her dark.

To show the other side that _it could not win_.

Kylo Ren was not the kind of man to sit by and just let things happen. Ever since his childhood, he took what he wanted. He was a go-getter, of sorts. He did not let anything, even family, stand in the way of what he wanted. He crushed anything that stood in his way. He was powerful, and not defeated easily.

He could have killed her.

He just didn't want to.

He knew it was true. The last time her met her, he was the stronger one. He was the one who had been trained, he was the one who was more powerful. It was not an even match, despite what his master or critics had to say about it. If he had really wanted to, he could have crushed her. Easily.

And yet, she needed to realize her power, to taste what it was like to overpower someone. To hunger for the power. She needed to embrace it on her own before he could even hope of possessing her.

Yes, Kylo Ren could have killed the girl. But she was much more useful to him alive.

For most of his life, he had been too good for everyone around him. He was more powerful, _more special,_ than his mother and father. His father was no one, a smuggler who got lucky most of the time. His mother was force-sensitive, yes. But she was still no match for him. She was weak, and ran from her legacy as the heir of Vader. She left it up to her son to carry out that task. Even Luke Skywalker was no match for him. His compassion, his righteousness, made him weak.

For most of his life, Kylo Ren was without an equal.

And yet, this girl was someone who could put up a fight with no training. He could only imagine her after she had some formal training with someone as skilled as he was. Ren smiled to himself; there was so much that he could teach her. He could show her all there was to know about the Force. He could be the one to help her to come into her own power. _He_ could be her _master._

Absentmindedly, he touched scar she had given him. He smiled as he thought about her gift to him. When he could finally get her to come with him, to the dark, they would be a match that no one could rival.

The click of his boots hitting the cold floor of the ship was the only sound in the otherwise silent hall. Low ranking members of the First Order knew to keep their distance from the master of the Knights of Ren. He was not one they wanted to cross, and therefore easily parted ways as he was making his way to speak with the Supreme Leader.

The Supreme Leader would want an update. When Ren knelt before his master after the fall of Starkiller Base, he congratulated his apprentice on fulfilling his mission of getting the girl to use the Force. He realized the necessity of losing the battle for the sake of the war. But his master was also impatient, and would want results soon enough.

As Ren made his way in to the chamber, he was displeased to find that General Hux was already there. Hux, who challenged Ren at every opportunity, would do anything to undermine the Knight. It was well known that the Supreme Leader's two most loyal servants hated one another. Ren only hoped that bringing the girl to the dark would serve to push Hux from the equation all together.

"What news of the girl?" The Supreme Leader's voice boomed in the otherwise empty chamber.

Ren breathed in, "I have sought out her presence. But she is beyond where I can sense."

"That is not good enough," His master's voice cut through the cold air sharply, "Every moment she is out there is a moment out of our influence. A moment with the light."

Ren nodded his head once. At night, he often tried to sense her, to reach out to her. Anything to call out to her, _tempt_ her to him. But that was not something that he would admit to his master, especially in front of the insipid General Hux.

"I, perhaps, have some intelligence that may alleviate the situation," Hux chimed in, his voice smug in the air. "Our sensors have picked up the Millennium Falcon. Intelligence suggests that the girl and Wookiee are the pilots of the ship now. I have already launched our best pilots in pursuit. They have been instructed to take the girl as a prisoner, Supreme Leader."

Ren could not deny the pleasure that was evident in his master's voice. Ren was glad for his helmet; the look of displeasure on his face was hidden by the mask. He was supposed to be the one to bring her to the dark, not Hux. "Supreme Leader, with your leave, I will join in the pursuit of the girl."

The figure in front of them nodded, "Very well. You are dismissed,"

Ren nodded to his master, before turning on his heel and taking his leave.

* * *

Kylo Ren took the lead in the pursuit of the girl and her ship. No, not her ship. _His father's ship._ Growing up, he would hear tales of the Millennium Falcon, completing difficult feats and getting his father, mother and uncle out of danger. He knew the tales of how fast and reliable this ship was. But the Falcon would not outrun Kylo Ren.

He would take what belonged to him.

His fleet of pilots found the Falcon easily enough. Initially, he ordered his pilots to hold back before attacking. He wanted to reach out and _sense_ the girl. To feel her, and to get inside of her pretty little head. He reached out to her, willing her to come to him. And yet, as he did, he could sense another presence on the Millennium Falcon that he had not expected.

Luke Skywalker was there.

* * *

Immediately, Rey knew that something was not right. One moment, she had been getting a lesson in flying from the great Luke Skywalker. She had not known that the Jedi had also been one of the Rebel Alliance's best pilots. Already, Rey knew that there was so much that she could learn from the man. But, suddenly, she felt something that she could only describe as a shift. As if cold hands were reaching out to her, wanting to grab her.

It was _him._

Almost every night since she had met Kylo Ren, she had nightmares about him. Often enough, they could have been pleasant dreams. Holding hands with someone on the beach. Feeling a hand brush on her bare shoulder as she felt the cool island waters lightly mist her freckled face. Yet they turned nightmares because they were all about _him._ And now, she could _feel_ him. He was nearby, and there was no doubt that he already knew she was there.

She looked to Luke, her eyes wide with panic. The old man could sense Ren's presence nearby as well. Immediately, the tone changed from a lighthearted flying lesson to something much more sinister.

The old man said what they were both thinking, "It is not the right time. We must get out of here."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well, there ya go! Chapter 2 is up! To be honest, I must have written Ren's section of this chapter about six different times. Sometimes he was coming off as _too evil_ , and other times as just too whiny. I hope he isn't too OOC. I actually think he has the potential to be a great complex character and I really want to do him justice.

As always, let me know what you think!


	3. Catch and Release

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : I still cannot believe the response I am getting to this. You guys are seriously so awesome! I am partially typing this in my office at work - that is how excited I am about this story. As always, it is your reviews which keep me going! Please let me know what you think of this story, even if you hate it.

As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter two! Especially TheKatieBugg, Ceruleon, sharpestsatire, ForeverDelighted, Guest, Juro-chan, Guest, draccmalfoy, piggielicious, caitysays, Tiara of Sapphires, MadrigalPrincess, The-Splatoon-Rook 64, bluejustice13 and nevergreen.

And now, for a few replies….

Ceruleon – I know what you mean! And, as it stands right now, the two of them already have too much history that they need to work through. Rey would not be able to forgive Han's death so easily. And Ren… as it stands, Ren thinks he is above any type of relationship (other than master and student) right now. He wouldn't even stand for friendship – we will just have to see where it goes!

ForeverDelighted – I am glad you liked it! I found it VERY difficult to write. Glad to know he was well received!

Tiara of Sapphires – I noticed the same trend as well! I can only hope that this next chapter doesn't follow too closely with the others! Let me know what you think.

The-Splatoon-Rook 64 – As of right now, I do not have an update schedule. When I start a fic, I usually have a LOT of momentum. It also helps that, as a teacher, I have a long break coming up. I am hoping to get a lot of writing done now. I'll hopefully have enough written soon that even if I get ridiculously busy I'll still be able to update on a fairly consistent basis.

* * *

 **Chapter Three: Catch and Release**

She could not shake the feeling that _something_ was not right. When Rey was younger, she often convinced herself that bad feelings, whether they were feelings in her gut or the general uneasiness of the situation at hand, were just a case of extreme paranoia. Something she had developed from being on her own for far too long. But, from the very little she knew about the Force, she was slowly learning to trust those base instincts that she had ignored for the majority of her young life.

And so, when she felt the cold, sinister presence of the man who haunted her dreams, she immediately knew not to shake it off or dismiss it as mere superstition. It was lucky for her that the Jedi next to her also sensed Kylo Ren, and immediately leapt into a plan of action. Where he had once been sitting peacefully in the pilots' chair, his stature changed into something she had not seen before. Luke Skywalker was not just a Jedi Master, but also one of the greatest fighter pilots that the galaxy had seen. Rey had a feeling that she was going to witness first hand his mastery behind the helm of a ship soon enough.

"Grab the co-pilot controls, Rey," He ordered her; despite the urgency of the situation, his voice remained calm. His tone of voice even managed to soothe her nerves. She could only hope that one day, she was going to be as skilled at keeping her cool as the Jedi was. Rey did as she was instructed, being sure to fasten herself into the chair before she did anything else. She would be no use to Skywalker if she could not remain in her seat during the heat of the fray. Without even having to be told, Chewbacca took his place manning the blasters. Something told Rey that they were going to need them within the next few moments.

Rey looked on as the Jedi began to maneuver the Millennium Falcon through space. Their speed, once at a leisurely flight pace, had picked up tremendously.

It was less than thirty seconds later when she felt the jolt. They were being fired upon. The realization had caused Rey to snap out of her wonder at the situation. Almost immediately, pure instinct and adrenaline began to kick in. She began to maneuver the best that she could. She found that she could anticipate Luke's moves and was able to compliment them from the co-pilot's chair. If she was not so frightened in the moment, she would have been impressed with herself.

There was another jolt not long after the first.

The second time that the Millennium Falcon was hit, Rey knew that severe damage was done to the outer hull. She could feel the Falcon slow down ever so slightly, unable to maneuver at the high speed with so much damage to her exterior. Rey frowned; this was the ship that made the Kessel Run in twelve parsecs! She could not slow down on them now!

 _Come on, girl._ She willed the ship, _don't let us down. Pull us through, one last time._

Next to her, Luke Skywalker was concentrating on flying. He was changing their direction left and right, attempting to free them from the enemy's pursuit. He did not want to face Kylo Ren any more than she did – he had indicated as much. Neither of them were physically, or emotionally, ready for that yet.

"I am going to bring us into an asteroid belt," Luke explained, although he did not wait for Rey's assent to do so. Almost immediately, Rey went flying as the ship dodged a large space rock that was hurdling towards them. She cried out in pain. Although she was grateful that she was strapped in restraints, the sheer impact of flying out of her seat only to be restrained by the belt had to cause some injury. She was sure she had broken a rib. But that was a matter for another time, when they were out of harm's way.

Rey looked at the space around them. As Luke weaved the Falcon in and out of asteroid clusters, more and more of the First Order pilots were falling behind. Through the pain of her cracked ribs, she let out an audible cheer. They were actually doing it!

And yet, the chill that had remained at the back of her neck since she first felt Ren's presence nearby was still there. He was still in pursuit of the Falcon, not ready to give up the chase just yet.

"He's not going to let up," Rey told Luke. She did not know why she felt the need to state the obvious. "He will chase us to the ends of the galaxy."

As she said that, the Millennium Falcon dropped. Rey felt herself go flying out of her chair, only to be snapped back immediately in place by the restraints on her. Grimacing, she did her best to continue piloting through the pain. Her ribs were definitely broken by this point.

 _Breathe, Rey,_ she told herself as the sheer panic at the situation began to set in, _you can do this._

Luke's mantra of _trust yourself_ repeated over and over as she once again grabbed the controls.

"We are losing them," She yelled, after a few moments. She looked over at the pilot's chair, to the old Jedi. Luke's face was frozen in concentration; he betrayed no emotions at their situation. He did not celebrate their victories, or wince as the ship took too much damage. She wished that she could be as collected as the Jedi master was, but she was too weak.

"He is still here," The old man said, closing his eyes as he pushed the Millennium Falcon to its maximum capacity. Rey braced herself as the Falcon turned on its side, weaving through more asteroids to get away from the First Order. Luke Skywalker seemed to be moving as a machine, so quickly that Rey could not process what he was doing. All she could process was the large asteroid that was bound straight for the Falcon, and she braced herself for the seemingly inevitable impact of it.

 _This is it._ Rey thought to herself, _I very well may die out here._

In the past few weeks, Rey had multiple near death experiences. More often than she would like, she faced the prospect of her own untimely death. While not something she welcomed, she had accepted the fact that there would be many times throughout her life that she would be in mortal peril.

And suddenly, all of her thoughts immediately turned from her own death to something else. Something that she welcomed even less. _Him._

He entered her mind as a sand snake would crawl through the rocks, slithering through the cracks. She frowned, she must have let her guard down, through all of the chaos of their narrow escape. And now, all dark thoughts of him clouded her mind. She could not escape from the man.

A chill gently caressed her bare skin as his voice entered her mind.

 _Such a sad little girl, who spent most of her life alone. Waiting._

Rey did everything that she could to push him out of there. She needed to get him out of her head; letting him in would be far too risky.

 _Wouldn't you like to know what happened to them? What you did to make them leave? Why they never wanted you back?_

She _had_ to get him out of there.

 _Come with me, and you will find out. You will see them again._

Rey shut her mind, doing her best to close it off from the one who violated her thoughts.

 _Come with me._

And just as quickly as he had wormed her way into her mind, he was out of there. Rey was alone with her own thoughts again. And yet, she felt the aftershocks of his presence in her head radiating throughout her whole body. Her throat was dry, her cheeks were flushed, her stomach was fluttering. What the hell did he just do to her?

As Kylo Ren pulled out of Rey's mind, she also felt his mere presence leaving the vicinity. Rey looked at the old man beside her. Her eyebrows raised in a single question: _was that monster letting them go?_

But the Jedi looked at his new companion curiously. Rey felt her cheeks turning an even deeper shade of pink. Did he know what she had just endured? Could he sense it? Did the former Jedi-in-training also speak to Luke in his own mind? If he had, Luke Skywalker did not let on. He gave the young girl one last curious look before turning back to the controls.

Rey did her best to stifle a groan. Inevitably, she knew that the experienced Jedi would want to speak with her about Ren. It was _not_ something that she wanted to do.

The three fugitives flew together in silence on the Millennium Falcon, making their way back to the Resistance base at D'Qar. There were so many different things that Rey wanted to ask the Jedi, and yet, she was still shaken by the events that they had just endured. Rey did her best to concentrate on the task at hand, navigating the Falcon safely back to her friends. And yet, she could not shake the chill that had cooled her down to her very bones.

Rey shuddered as the trio hurried back to Resistance headquarters in silence.

* * *

Kylo Ren not the kind of man who would smile for no particular reason. He hardly ever let his emotions show; he masked them just as he physically masked his face. If there was going to be something that made him betray his feelings, it had to be damn good.

He was smiling now.

When he had first met this strange desert rat from Jakku - _Rey,_ he recalled her name from his invasion of her mind - he could not read her. She resisted him at every point in their encounter, something he had never experienced before. The men and women all around him were feeble minded; he could easily control him. This girl, however, was the challenge. And now, after his pursuit, he had broken down those walls. He had come crashing through those barriers she had set up; he had overpowered her, like he always knew that he would.

He had to smile at that.

Everything was going according to his plan.

Of course, General Hux would question why he had come back from the mission empty handed. The impatient human would gloat in his failure, unable to grasp the complexity of the situation _and his plan_. But Ren had not failed at all. He had gotten into her head, he was able to probe into her thoughts. And what he discovered made him absolutely gleeful: _he had alreadybeen inside of her head all._

She dreamed about him.

What was more, she _feared_ him.

The thought of her trembling before him made him grin wider.

It was true that the presence of Luke Skywalker posed a problem. No doubt he would begin her training, like he had attempted to with Ren. Giving her the basic skills to defend herself against Ren and his master. And yet what neither of them realized was that soon enough she would not _want_ to defend herself against him.

When he was in her mind, he could see the loneliness. The emptiness that went along with being unloved and unwanted. He could feel the dark, cold nights she spent waiting for _someone, anyone_ to claim her. More than anything, she wanted to know _why_ she was so easily left _._ He played off of that. He let her know that by his side, she could find anyone in the galaxy she was looking for. She could get her answers. She could even get her revenge.

Kylo Ren laughed out loud, the mirth muffled by his helmet. It was all far too simple.

The seeds were planted.

He would not have to go after her again.

She would come back to him soon enough.

* * *

It was dark outside when Rey woke up. The ground was cold and hard beneath her, not at all like the warm sands that enveloped her nightly on Jakku. That disoriented her; the last thing she remembered, they had just outran the First Order and Kylo Ren while aboard the Millennium Falcon. How did she wind up on a planet?

She checked her surroundings. Skywalker and Chewbacca were nowhere in sight. That was when panic set in - what happened to her? Where were her companions? Had they _abandoned_ her?

Rey began to move frantically, attempting to gain control over the situation. The greenery that surrounded her looked familiar; she had been here before. But she racked her brain; there was no planet _in existence_ that she had ever been to that looked like that.

The air that surrounded her seemed to choke her. Although she could not see any signs of fire, she could smell smoke. She could feel the smoke in her lungs.

And suddenly, the trees around her were engulfed in flame.

Rey ran. But it seemed no matter how far or fast she went, she could not outrun the flames.

And that was when she recognized what planet she was on. How could she be back on this planet? Starkiller base had been destroyed weeks ago; she was there when it occurred.

She heard footsteps behind her. _No, no, I have to get out of here._ Her legs carried her farther, faster. But she could never lose the calm footsteps. They were always right behind her, waiting for her to get tired of running. She would not be able to outrun them forever.

Oh, she tried. She tries as hard as she possible could. Over rocks, and under flaming tree branches. She felt as though her lungs were engulfed in the same flames as the trees at this point. She could feel the heat on her cheeks now. Gone was the cool night air that gently kissed her awake. Everything was hot now. The fire was catching up to her.

Rey ran until she could not run anymore. Her feet came skidding to a halt as she reached a deep crack on the ground. The rupture that was caused by destruction of the base. Rey screamed, although she knew it was no use. She had nowhere else to go, she was alone with no one to help her. _No, that's true_. She was not alone. The ever present footsteps were still behind her. Turning her head, she could see Kylo Ren only a few yards behind her.

 _Come with me._

He didn't have to say anything, but he was calling to her.

 _Come with me and you will be safe. Away from the flames._

His voice inside of her head was cool and collected. While she was panting, and out of breath, he remained a calm as ever. Even though he was wearing his mask, she got the sense that the bastard was smiling.

 _Come with me, and you shall have everything._

Rey looked at him, the masked man before her offered his hand for her to take. She eyed his hand skeptically. On one side of her, she had a deep crevice in the planet. On the other side was the outstretched hand of Kylo Ren. She could feel him willing her, _pleading with her,_ to take it. All around her were flames, threatening to take her life.

Rey did the only thing that she could do.

She jumped.

* * *

 **Author's Note** : Well, there you have it! Another chapter bites the dust. I actually really like this one, which is surprising. Action scenes (in my opinion) are very hard for me to write. I hope that I was able to convey this one properly.

Also, you can thank my students for how quickly this was updated. They were testing today, so while I was protecting I was able to take some time to write this out.

Anyway, please let me know what you think! I live (and am inspired by) your feedback!


	4. Light and Dark

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Hello everyone. Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate! Happy holidays! Happy Festivus (I know I had a couple of grievances that I aired out). As always, I really appreciate the reviews that you have given me. It's probably the best Christmas present of all – to know that there are people out there who enjoy (and look forward to) the work that I put out there.

I apologize for not updating the past two days. I've been on an "update-a-day" kick since I started this. I fully intended for keeping it up. But I was in a car accident Wednesday, and had to deal with all of the fallout from that (still am dealing with it, actually). I'm okay, the other person involved is okay, but my car definitely is not. Which means I have my entirety of winter vacation to sort out a new car situation so I can return to work when I need to. Needless to say, I will be a little distracted.

On the other hand, for the most part, I cannot go anywhere. Which means I will have nothing to do for ten days but sit in front of a computer and write (some of you will thank me for it), or grade all of my students' projects (my students will NOT thank me for it). Neither of this is what I had hoped, but I am trying to look on the bright side here. Just a fair warning, this chapter is going to be a bit shorter than any other ones, because of everything that has been going on.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story so far! Especially ainums, khaleesiofthewolves, guest, sunnyontheheights, elen-di, JJwolf, Torchwood Boy, aleone84, ceruleon, elorra8787. Guest, sheepzus, cat, ourcityislove, guest, snoy Analia, TheKatieBugg, guest, shippergirlky, cathoo, sharpestsatire, ForeverDelighted, bluejustice13, TiaraofSapphires, caitysays, nevergreen, The-Splatoon-Rook 64.

Sharpestsatire – I don't know yet! I have a story arc planned out, but not so much chapter plans as of yet. Although, I have to say – sometimes I plan for a certain plot point to take one chapter to write out and it will take two. So I try not to think too much about that.

Torchwood Boy – Lots of questions! Yes, we will see Luke training Rey! And the relationship between Finn and Poe – really interesting. I have to say I enjoy the speculation on the Internet, and I can get behind them as a ship! Who know… maybe we'll see some of that. And this fic is definitely Kylo/Rey, but Finn/Rey will be discussed.

And now, on with the fic!

* * *

 **Chapter Four: Light and Dark**

Rey's eyes opened with a start, she was gasping for breath. Beads of sweat pooled on her forehead; she wiped them off furiously. Her eyes adjusted to the dim lights around her - she was on the Millennium Falcon, back to safety. Her ribs were bandaged from the banging they took from their narrow escape from the First Order earlier during the day. There was no evidence of her run in with Kylo Ren in the woods anywhere.

 _Was that all just a dream?_

It took Rey a few more moments to catch her breath. She was aboard the Falcon. She was safe. She repeated that over and over in her head, like a mantra. _You are on the Falcon. You are safe. You are on the Falcon. You are safe._ It took her a few long moments, but eventually she was able to get her erratic breathing back down to normal.

She stared up at the roof of her small bunk as she tried to calm down. How is it that the bastard could have gotten into her head? She had always had nightmares about the man, ever since she first encountered him. He was always there, attempting to seduce her to the dark side of the Force. But this was something different. Something more powerful. Something more sinister.

 _I should have kept my guard up,_ Rey cursed herself, _and it is all my fault for letting him in in the first place._

Rey knew that she would never be able to fall back to sleep now. She was far too frightened to; she knew that the second she closed her eyes, he would be there. She brought herself up into a sitting position, and brought her hands to her eyes. She rubbed them furiously. She was angry at herself for getting in to this mess. Was this what he life was going to be from now on? Haunted by a masked man, no matter where she was in the galaxy? Somehow, she knew that returning to a life of peaceful solitude on Jakku was no longer an option for her.

With a sigh, Rey got up from her bunk. If she was not going to be able to sleep, she had to do something to occupy her thoughts until they reached D'Qar. Grabbing what tools she could find, the former scavenger went out in search of something that needed to be fixed on this flying scrap metal of a ship.

Rey did not get very far. As soon as she entered the cockpit area, she saw Luke Skywalker sitting in the captain's seat. He did not say anything; Rey doubted if he even noticed that she was there. Quietly, she tried to creep back in the direction that she came from. But it was to no avail, the Jedi master could already sense her presence.

"What did he say to you? When he was in pursuit of it?" No words of greeting. The old man did not have time for such niceties.

Rey bit the bottom of her lip nervously, she did not want to admit it to the Jedi. And yet, she knew that lying to him would be no use. She was a terrible liar, and he would be able to detect the falsehood easily with his skills no matter what. "He told me to come to him. That he would give me the answers that I am looking for. About my family."

Luke Skywalker did not look surprised, as if he had been expecting this. He did, however, look resigned. "The Dark Side can do many things, Rey. If you went to Kylo Ren, he very well may be able to give you the answers you seek."

Rey raised her eyebrows; she had not been expecting the Jedi to be so candid with her. So honest. "But I thought that –"

"The Dark Side of the Force is powerful, Rey," Luke sighed, "There is no denying that. I can do things that the Light cannot. It would be a falsehood to say otherwise."

Rey's eyes shifted towards the ground, she did not want to look the master Jedi in the eye, "Then why tell me this? Why make that temptation even greater?"

"Because you must understand," Luke Skywalker took Rey's hands. She was so startled, she looked up. His old, wise eyes bore deep into hers, "I tried to keep the powers of the Dark Side hidden from a student of mine once. I tried to protect him. And, when the time came, he was tempted, and he fell. You must understand that the Dark Side is powerful, and so tempting. But it also comes at a great price."

Rey nodded, a clear sign that she understood his words.

Luke Skywalker continued, "I cannot shield you from the Dark Side. That was my original mistake. It must exist, for without it, the light would not exist either. Light and dark must exist side by side. The most we can do is seek to understand. Balance must be found, after all."

"Balance," Rey repeated his words, not fully understanding them. "But we cannot simply allow monsters like Kylo Ren to continue destroying planets."

The old man closed his eyes, "There is much still that you do not understand. I did not, either, when I was young. I have only learned it recently, in my time in exile."

Rey felt herself getting frustrated with the cryptic words of the old man, "Then explain it to me."

For the briefest of moments, Rey could have sworn she saw a smile from behind the old man's grey beard, "It is not something that can be understood from mere words."

"Then how will I ever know?"

"We will begin your training as soon as we reach D'Qar."

* * *

The rest of the flight back to the Resistance base went by without incident. Rey was surprised at that – she was sure that the First Order would send people out after them. Kylo Ren was not the kind of person to let people go without a fight.

And yet, they arrived safely on D'Qar to a cheerful welcoming committee.

General Organa was there to greet them. Finn and Poe Dameron were by her side, expectantly waiting for the crew of the Millennium Falcon to disembark from the ship. Rey's smile widened at the sight of Finn – she was so grateful that her friend was doing well after the injuries he sustained.

Chewbacca was the first of them to leave the ship. He was greeted with applause from members of the Resistance. Finn embraced the Wookiee, while Poe patted him on the back in welcome. Rey had to smile, it felt as though they had been gone for far too long. Taking a deep breath, she began to leave the Millennium Falcon. She stole one last glance behind her. She tried to give Luke the most encouraging smile that she could muster. The Jedi did not return the expression, but gave her a nod.

Rey walked down to meet her friends. Almost immediately, Finn and Poe ran up to the former scavenger and embraced her. Rey almost fell down from the sheer force of the two men as they attacked her with hugs. When they finally let her go, Finn began to inundate her with questions, "How was the trip? Did you encounter any trouble? You found him right? What is he liked?"

"You will have to determine that one for yourself," She replied with a slight laugh. But her words did not reach Finn's ears. He was already looking over her head, distracted by something. Rey turned around to see what the commotion was all about. Luke Skywalker was descending from the Millennium Falcon. Everyone around them stopped what they were doing to stare at the old Jedi. Rey whipped her head around again, this time looking for General Organa. The older woman was waiting with baited breath as Luke made his way off of the Falcon.

Rey pulled herself away from Finn and Poe, straining herself to get a better view of the reunion between the two estranged siblings. The general began to move now, her pace quickening as she began to make her way towards her brother. Although she had not known the Jedi very long, Rey could tell that he was struggling to keep his emotions hidden behind a cool exterior. Her heart went out to the old man, this had to be very difficult for him.

The Resistance watched on as the two siblings finally embraced. Rey could hear sobs coming from where the two of them stood, but whether they belonged to Luke or General Organa, she could not know.

"Luke, never _ever_ do that again," Rey could hear the general's voice after the two of them ended their embrace.

"I had to leave," She heard the Jedi reply, "I failed you and Han. I failed Ben."

"You didn't fail us, Luke." His sister countered, touching her hand to his cheek, "Ben was tempted, and there was nothing that any of us could do." The sadness was evident in the battle-hardened general's voice. Rey's heart went out to the old woman.

"I could have better prepared him to face that temptation," Rey could hear the sorrow in the Jedi's voice. "If only I had understood the Force better when I began to train him. That was why I went away, Leia. I went to learn everything that I could. So that I could make things right."

The genera's voice raised, a new hope that Rey had never seen before shining through her words, "Do you think that you could bring him back to me?"

Luke looked up, meeting his sister's gaze, "I can try, Leia. It will be difficult, he has spent too much time learning the ways of the Dark Side. I heard what he did to Han – it is not something that a person could easily come back from." The Jedi's voice caught as he spoke about his dead friend.

"Please, Luke," The general pleaded, "Bring him back to me,"

"I swear to you, Leia," He gently grabbed her shoulders, his voice becoming more firm, "I will do everything in my power to bring your son back. But I am going to need some help."

With those final words, both the general and the Jedi looked towards Rey.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well, there we are! Once again, I am sorry it's so short. But since I lack any sort of transportation to leave my house, maybe there will be an update soon!


	5. Pleasure and Work

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Well, here it is! Another chapter. I would have gotten this out earlier, but today was spent car shopping and working out everything from the accident. I'll be happy when this is all over, I promise you all that. But as I was writing this, I tried to relax. I wrote most of this while drinking lots of wine (I apologize for any mistakes, I did proofread though) and marathoning Game of Thrones (rewatching the first season, when they were all BABIES).

Thank you to everyone who expressed concern for me and my well-being! And thank you for all the kind reviews. Especially Guest, Yueres De Leo, Mia Aisli, KraZiiePurozHaveMoreFun, Elen-Di, sharpestsatire, draccmalfoy, maidmarian17, BW, ForeverDelighted, bluejustice13 aleone84, Tomas284 Akoto3725, TheKatieBugg, blookie, perilxxx, and The-Splatoon-Rook 64.

TheKatieBugg - I know – the Luke/Rey dynamic is something that I'm going to be exploring, and it will be a major point in this plot. In addition, I found it very curious in the movie as to why Luke actually went away. I believe it wasn't out of guilt, but out of a sense that he needed to learn more (as he never got the complete training that we see played out in the prequels). That's something else I wanted to explore, and in Balance, at least, Luke will have learned more about the Force and the Jedi Order in his time away.

SharpestSatire – No, no pressure on Rey there at all! Haha! Rey is definitely going to be feeling pressure, from all sides! And honestly, I don't know why I reply here instead of privately. Probably because I can give a few useful Easter eggs/spoilers here that others could see as well (so long as they actually read this and not just scroll through).

* * *

 **Chapter Five:** Pleasure and Work

She was up with the sunrise, as she had been instructed to by her new mentor. Rey had always been a morning person. In her line of work, she had to be. Any few extra hours of sleep meant sacrificing all of the good pickings at scavenging sites. And that meant that she wouldn't be eating for the day. Now, however, she was rising early for a different reason. Her training with Luke Skywalker would begin today.

Rey was conflicted about the training. She wanted nothing more than to understand this power that she had seemingly been born with and her place within the universe. She knew that the Jedi master could provide some answers when it came to that. And yet, she never _asked_ for this. She had been content to live out the rest of her life on Jakku – she accepted her fate to remain a scavenger living meal to meal. The idea that she, a lowly scavenger, was the one who great Resistance leaders believed would bring balance to the Force was hard for her to wrap her head around.

And yet, they all seemed to have faith in her. General Organa. Poe. Finn. Chewbacca. Luke.

Somehow, the decision had already been made for her.

And so, she was up at the crack of dawn, ready to begin her training with the Jedi master. He wanted her to meet him out in the woods, to begin their training away from the prying eyes of the other members of the Resistance. She knew that Luke had been thinking about Poe and Finn when he instructed her to come alone. The two had been overly curious about the way in which Luke would train her.

She made her way down towards the isolated sport where Luke had instructed her to meet him. She weaved in and out of green overgrowth. The vegetation of the forest planet was something she was not used to; she was much more accustomed to the barren desserts of her home world. It took her twenty minutes of walking in silence, but she was finally able to find the clearing where Luke told her to meet him.

He was already there, waiting for her. Rey had to wonder how long the old man had been waiting for her to arrive. Immediately, Rey felt self-conscious. Despite the fact that she never asked for this power, this _fate,_ she was overcome with a desire to prove herself to the Jedi in front of her. She cursed under her breath, vowing to rise a little earlier the following day.

"We will begin with the basics," Luke said, in lieu of a greeting upon her arrival to the clearing. Rey had not known the Jedi master long, but already she found he was not one for socialization. He was all business, especially with her. She had seen him be kind and compassionate with his sister, in the few interactions she had witnessed between the two of them. Perhaps it was something that he reserved only for members of his family. Perhaps there was something about Rey that he did not like. No matter the true cause, Luke kept the former scavenger at a distance.

"How much do you know about the Force?" He asked her, simply.

Rey stumbled over her next words, "I-I admit that I do not know much. General Organa told me some of what she knows, sir."

The Jedi Master nodded, "I expected as much. But I have been told you have developed some skills over time."

Her mind immediately went back to her captivity with Kylo Ren. She had been able to resist his intrusion into her mind then, using the Force. She had even been able to access some of his own thoughts; she shuddered at the memory of _that._ Rey had been able to coerce a Stormtrooper into letting her walk out of her cell with just her words. And she had been able to access the Force when fighting Ren face to face, channeling the mystical energy field to help her defeat the dark knight. She relayed all of this information to Luke. If he was surprised at all with her ability, he did not let on.

"The Force connects all living things in the galaxy." Luke explained. Rey nodded, she knew that much already. While the Jedi had disappeared from existence long ago, great stories and fables of their deeds had long circulated. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Rey could recall those tales of old. Whether from her childhood or a memory of a dream, she could not tell.

Luke looked at her, up and down. He would not meet her eyes though; Rey could not shake the feeling that there was something the old man was not telling her. He cleared his throat, "I would like to see your abilities, to get a sense of what you can already do."

Rey nodded once; she was expecting that he would want to do something like this. And yet, she could not shake the nervous feeling that suddenly bubbled up inside of her.

"We shall start of small," The Jedi looked at her. He held out the lightsaber at arm's length. She was still a good distance from it, and would not be able to just reach out and take it. Rey knew what he wanted her to do. She stuck out her hand, and tried to channel of the energy around her in to calling the lightsaber over.

Nothing happened.

Rey frowned. She looked at the expression of the Jedi across the clearing. He did not betray any emotions, neither shock nor dismay. Rey was determined to get him to express some sort of emotion. She concentrated even harder; she could feel some shift in the energy around her. She could feel the lightsaber moving ever so slightly in the Jedi's hands. Rey increased her concentration; beads of sweat began to pool on her forehead. It took her a few more minutes, but she finally felt the weapon pull from the old man's hand. She caught it as it slapped into her hand.

She looked to the Jedi, hoping to garner some reaction from him. But his face remained stoic, as he gave his next set of instructions, "Very good. Let us try with something more difficult now."

* * *

She was exhausted. For six hours straight, the Jedi and his new mentee worked together. After assessing her skill levels, Luke began with rigorous strength training. She ran for what felt like leagues, and lifted well beyond the measure of what she was used to. Muscles that she did not even know existed were sore. As she made her way back to the Resistance base, she kept thinking about the morning's training. It was rigorous, there was no doubt about that. But she could not shake the feeling that the entire time she was with him, Luke Skywalker was keeping something from her. She tried to think of anything that may have revealed a hint to why he was behaving as such, but the Jedi was good at masking his emotions.

Rey made a vow to find out exactly what he was hiding from her.

The Resistance base was bustling with energy as she made her way back. People were running about, either training to fight or fixing the ships and fighters that would lead them in to battle. She looked around, hoping to find a familiar face in all of the commotion. It took her a moment, but she found both Finn and Poe together working on an x-wing.

Happily, Rey walked over to her friends. Deep in conversation, at first they did not notice her.

"Pass me that wrench," She heard Poe instruct Finn. Without noticing the young woman who approached, the former Stormtrooper fiddled around a rusted old toolbox for the wrench. He handed it to his companion, who looked at it before sighing, "No, not that one. The one that looks more round at the top."

Finn moved to get the proper tool, but Rey had already beat him to it. Upon seeing his friend, Finn smiled and enveloped her into a tight hug. She returned the gestured, smiling at his enthusiasm. Almost immediately, he began to ask her question after question, "How did it go? What was it like? Did you use the lightsaber? I've been meaning to ask, would it be possible for me to get one too?"

Rey had to laugh at his questions, "Slow down, I can barely wrap my head around anything that you just said to me,"

"Sorry," He apologized, after releasing her from his grip, "It just is so extraordinary – that you are training with the only living Jedi master."

Rey smiled, "It was fairly rudimentary actually. We did nothing but exercises for most of the day, running, lifting, assessing my physical abilities."

"Sounds just like what we've been doing here," The words came from Poe Dameron, who broke away from the x-wing to greet the young woman. "Maybe he's just training you to be a Resistance pilot,"

"You're probably right," Rey shrugged. It was true that her training, except for the beginning, resembled the training of a regular soldier. Not of a Jedi. Perhaps Luke realized she was not the one that he had been hoping for, that she did not have the power. At the thought, Rey could not help but feel a bit disappointed. She had to admit that she did not ask for, did not _want,_ the fate that was so callously thrust upon her. At the same time, she wanted to prove herself worthy of everyone's faith in her.

"Well, if the whole Jedi thing doesn't work out for you," Poe laughed, obviously jesting in his words, "We could use another pilot like you. From what this one's told me, you're gutsy. We need that here." Poe gestured to Finn as he spoke.

Rey smiled, and thanked the experienced pilot for his vote of confidence. But, she wanted to get off the subject. Luke had given her specific instructions not to disclose much of her training with others. She attempted to change the subject, "I'm famished. I am going to find some food."

"I'll come with you," Finn rushed to her side, "The mess hall should still be serving lunch, and I could eat."

"You just ate," Poe called, his head buried in the nuts and bolts of his fighter. But Finn did not pay his new friend any mind. He gathered his things and the two friends were off to find food.

"So, how are you feeling?" Rey asked her friend as they walked together.

"Better than I was," Finn replied, "Some days I am still in pain, while others I feel as good as new. I'm going to start training soon. Poe suggested that I train as a soldier, since I have some background there."

Rey nodded; the logic made sense. "But is it something you want? Didn't you want to get away from the fighting? Isn't that what made you want to break away from your life as a Stormtrooper in the first place?"

The former Stormtrooper shrugged, "When I was with the First Order, it was because I didn't have a choice. I didn't believe in the cause that we were fighting for. But now, it's different. I fight because I have something to fight for." With those words, Finn took Rey's hand. She was about to make a joke about Finn's obsession with hand holding, but this time everything felt different about it.

After a few moments of sustained contact, Rey began to feel it. An overwhelming sense of dread washed over her. She tried to look at Finn for some kind of reassurance, but he was not next to her. Where he had once stood, the masked Kylo Ren now stood in his place. His hand gripped tightly around hers. Immediately upon the realization of who stood next to her, Rey attempted to break free of his grip. She would _not_ let him win. She would not let him take her.

 _Come with me. I can give you all of the answers that you seek._

 _I would not doubt your power._

How could he know everything that she was thinking? How could he know her own doubts when she could not even articulate them well herself?

 _I had the same doubts once. We are not so different, you and I._

 _No._ She shook her head, attempting to break away from the knight's grip. _No._ Summoning all her strength, she ripped her hand away from Kylo Ren.

"Rey? Rey?" She looked next to her, and Finn was standing there, his hand still outstretched. He looked hurt by her actions.

"I-I…. I'm sorry," She looked down, unable to look her friend in the eye, "I'm not hungry anymore. I should go,"

Before Finn could reply, Rey had turned on her heels and was making her way quickly back to her sleeping quarters.

* * *

 _We are not so different, you and I._

No, that was not true. Rey was nothing like the monster that brutally murdered his own father. She would never turn on the people she cared the most about. She was not power hungry like that hideous monster.

 _We are not so different, you and I._

He was a former student of Luke's, Rey knew that much was true. _I would not doubt your power._ Had the Jedi master doubted the power of his former student as well? Had he kept him at enough of a distance as to push him away? She had to wonder about that.

Perhaps they were not so different after all…

 _No,_ she told herself. Her voice standing firm against all of her doubts. Despite her relationship with her new master, Rey was not like the dark knight at all.

She tried to think of something else. She needed to get Kylo Ren out of her damn head. She tried to think of her friends: Poe and Finn. _Finn._ The look on his face as she pulled away from him was enough to break her heart. He had genuinely looked so despondent at her rejection. She hadn't meant to, but she could not get that horrible bastard out of her head. It was the only way.

But why had he looked so hurt?

After all, they were just friends….

Unless he had intended their contact to be something more… But no, Rey could not even think about something like that. She had too much going on in her life. She was training with a Jedi master… Jedi were well known for rejecting their emotions, and vowing to live chastely. Whether she wanted to or not, she was going to have to accept that as her fate.

No, this was not something that she could think about.

Rey had a mission that she needed to focus on.

Kylo Ren.

That was all she could focus on right now.

Her vision from hours earlier replayed over and over again in her head. She could still feel his grip on her hands, pulling her towards him as she tried desperately to get away from him. His voice rang in her head, like a hologram that was on constant repeat.

 _We are not so different, you and I._

 _We are not so different, you and I._

She fell asleep, the voice of Kylo Ren repeating over and over again in her head.

 _Come to me._

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Another chapter bites the dust! Sorry if this is mostly filler. But I tried to explain the dynamic between Luke and Rey (and Luke and Ren) as well as Rey with her friends. Please let me know what you all think!


	6. Friends and Enemies

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Well, here is chapter six! This chapter was a little difficult for me to write, especially at the end. Most of you know the past few days have been difficult for me, and they are only getting more difficult. Hopefully it hasn't seeped too much in to my writing. But, I really wanted to get this chapter out for you. It's also the longest one that I have written so far, and it sets the stage for what will be happening in the next few chapters.

As always, a special thank you to the people who have been so kind as to leave reviews for the previous chapter. You guys are the ones who keep me going with this story, truly. Your enthusiasm inspires me! Thank you to Akoto3725, ForeverDelighted, Mia Aisli, Infinities Lover, desna99, Elorrra8787, TheKatieBugg, Blackpen Enaru, blookie, Candyslavergirl, DramioneLurver, draccmalfoy, Elen-Di, MaidMarian, jessiejelsing, sharpestsatire, bluejustice14.

Sharpestsatire – You raise a really interesting question. Personally, I believe that in all likelihood, Rey will end up somehow being related to the Skywalkers. HOWEVER, I really really do not want that to happen. I think there were already too many parallels between the original trilogy and TFA, and I don't want the writers to go with anything too obvious. I would LOVE for Rey to have been created by the Force or to be somehow be a Kenobi. As to your second question, I do not have a tumblr account. As to your third question, I can't exactly say – but I like your instincts! ;)

Draccmalfoy – I am sorry you feel that way. Rey has a reason she is keeping her friends at arm's length that is being explored in this chapter. Actually, this entire chapter is about her relationships with her friends, so hopefully that helps to build your understanding of why I chose to write them that way.

TheKatieBugg – It's a little bit of both. You'll see as it is more closely explored in this chapter. Kylo knows that he now has an "in" into Rey's mind, so to speak. And he's totally fine with manipulating that. But Rey is also genuinely fearful of him, it makes sense that she would imagine him when he is not there as well.

Elorra8787 – It may mature into an M rating. I have tried to be careful in my use of language, and I am not one to write out vivid sex scenes or anything like that (it is definitely not my style). However, there are going to be some adult themes. However, I don't know just yet if it will warrant an M rating.

ForeverDelighted – I loved your review! Thank you so much for it. I feel sorry for Rey too. I know that is how I would react if I were in her position, and I am trying to make her as realistic as possible. Also, while I don't want to give anything away, you're on the right track when it comes to Luke!

* * *

 **Chapter Six:** Friends and Enemies

He could feel her. No matter the distance, her presence was with him. He had not intended for this to happen. When he entered in to her mind, his only intention was to implant the seed of doubt into her mind. To make her submit herself to him. And yet, there was an unintended consequence of that one, minimal connection. Yes, he could access her whenever he wished now. He could enter into her mind, and talk to her.

He could feel what she was feeling.

For the most part, it was a happy consequence. He was able to sense the doubt that she had in her abilities, the doubt that she felt her new master had in her. It was not so different than what he had felt when he was first beginning his training. It was something that the two of them had in common. _We are not so different, her and I._ He smiled to himself at the thought of it. He was looking forward to her coming to him, kneeling before him in submission. Yes, he would like that very much.

But there was something that was standing in his way. He could feel it earlier that afternoon, a warm feeling that he had never experienced before. He could sense it coming from her. He reached in to her mind, desperate to know what was happening with the young woman. What he found was something that he did not like. Not at all.

The traitor. The Stormtrooper that broke ranks to rebel against him. Reaching out his hand, and taking hers. _No._ That hand was his. She was his to command, his to control. He would not be usurped by some lowly and powerless Stormtrooper. The woman was _his._ She belonged to him.

Immediately, he entered in to her mind, claiming his territory. He injected his own image in to her mind, refusing to let go of her hand. He laughed, she would not be fighting against him forever. _We are not so different, you and I._ He put the words into her head. He could feel them take hold in her mind. The doubt that was already there took hold of the phrase, working it in to her subconscious. Kylo Ren had to smile at that.

But she resisted him once more. He held on to her as long as he could, refusing to let go of their connection. But she was getting stronger and stronger every single day. She was able to tear away from him, breaking their contact. Ren was expelled violently from her mind.

 _Damnit!_ He yelled at himself. Unleashing the power of his lightsaber, he attacked the wall next to him. He slashed violently at the air, wreaking havoc on the walls of the ship as he did so. The release of his anger felt good, but it did not calm him down any. She was resisting him too much. He was going to have to try much harder to seduce her to the Dark Side.

Weeks had passed. Every day followed the same formula: Rey woke up, she ate what she could, and she trained with her new master. She felt herself avoiding Finn and Poe. She felt bad about it; it was an unintended consequence of her training, for the most part. Luke had instructed her to keep her lessons a secret, and not to talk about them even with the closest of her friends. Rey found that it was much easier to avoid them rather than constantly keep information from them. Jedi were notoriously reclusive anyway, perhaps it was just for the best. It also did not help that the two of them were off, training with the Resistance while she had the entire weight of the galaxy on her shoulders. She had begun to feel the pressure of her fate; it was something that the two soldiers would never fully be able to understand.

She found herself getting stronger and stronger with each growing day. Physically, she was able to push herself harder than she ever had before. She could run faster and longer, she could lift more than ever. She could endure more in a fight than she ever had imagined possible. Mentally, she was stronger as well. She was able to channel energy with surprising ease. She could move objects with her mind, and she found that she could control people easier now. She was not necessarily proud of that; but it was something that she had to learn.

Luke did not want Rey to practice her mind tricks on other people. But there was no way that she could get better at it without practice. She only commanded them to do small acts: move out of the way, leave extra food for her in the mess hall. She was surprisingly good at it. Rey hated to admit it, but she liked the power that it gave her. And she liked exercising it – it made her feel strong.

She was no longer the helpless little scavenger from Jakku.

She would never be helpless again.

Except when it came to _him._ For roughly a month, he visited her nightly in her dreams. Nightmares. Sometimes, they were outright terrifying. He would chase her, and Rey would do what she could to escape him. She would kick, fight, and scream until she was either safe or woke up from the nightmare entirely. Increasingly, however, they were nightmares of a different variety. These were more _personal._ He would not pursue her; he would not have to. In these nightmares, she would go to him. Willingly. He would caress her, and she w _ould not turn a way._

From these dreams, Rey would often wake up in a cold sweat, highly disturbed. She would be _angry_ with herself, for being so receptive to him. _It's just a dream,_ she would tell herself over and over again. _It does not mean anything._ But since she began to train, since she realized the true potential of her power, she realized that her dreams _did_ mean something. But she had to determine the true meaning of them.

She could have asked her master. She probably s _hould_ have asked her mentor what they all meant. But she couldn't. That would let on that she was tempted, that she was too weak to bring balance to the Force. She could not let down Luke like that. It was bad enough that the Jedi continued to keep her at arm's length at all times. Rey could sense that he never truly spoke what was on his mind, he was continually keeping his distance. She could only imagine what he would do if she found out she was having recurring nightmares about his former student.

No, that was a secret best kept hidden.

From everyone.

Rey made her way down from her quarters, after another horrible night's sleep. Bags surely had to be evident under her eyes. After another series of nightmares about the dark knight, she found herself purposefully keeping herself awake. It was making her weak, and agitated easily. But at least she was keeping him out of her head. It was a small price to pay.

Steering herself towards the mess hall, Rey wondered what the day had in store for her. Training with Luke varied day after day, some days it was physical training. Some days it was mental training. She had even begun to construct her own lightsaber weapon. It was rudimentary, and not ready for use. In the meanwhile, she had trained with her mentor's.

Taking the food that was carefully handed to her, she sat herself in a darkened corner of the room. Aside from her few friends at the Resistance, Rey was not one for conversation. Sometimes, soldiers were curious about the Jedi trainee on D'Qar. They made an effort to invite her in to conversations when she was sitting alone. Rey was appreciative of their efforts, but often declined. She liked to be alone with her own thoughts most of the time. Years of solitude did that to a person.

She sat down, and began eating. She no longer had to worry about where her next meal was coming from, and she was no longer starving. Rey took her time while she ate, savoring the peace and quiet that an early breakfast usually brought.

"You are going to be spending some time with us tonight," A voice from behind her came, as she spotted a tray of food being placed down next to her. In any other point in her life, Rey would have been startled at the intrusion. But she sensed Finn coming from at least fifty feet away. "I don't want to hear that you are busy, or you are tired. We barely see you anymore. You have to, and I am not taking no for an answer."

Rey raised her eyebrows at her friend, as she stuffed a roll into her mouth. "Excuse me? I don't _have_ to do anything _._ " She swallowed the bread in her mouth, and let out a small chuckle. Playfully, she hit the former Stormtrooper on the arm.

"I'm not giving you a choice in the matter, Rey," He laughed, as he stuffed a forkful of some dehydrated protein product in his mouth, "Poe and I agreed that you're coming out with us tonight, whether you like it or not. We'll drag you out kicking and screaming if we have to."

"Out?" If at all possible, her eyebrows were raised even further, "We are in the middle of a war, Finn. Where could we possibly go?"

"Some of the guys set up this cantina not too far from base," He explained as he chowed down on breakfast, "It's not much, but since the only flights out of here have been reconnaissance and we haven't seen any action lately, some of the guys wanted something to do to blow off some steam."

 _Blow off some steam,_ Rey laughed to herself. With everything going on in her life, that was definitely something that she could do. She looked at her friend, "Alright, count me in for it."

* * *

Her training began as more of the same; she had grown accustomed to the routine that Luke had set for her. She would exercise physically for the majority of the morning. In the afternoon, she would hone her mental skills. She breezed through the first part of her day with ease. But the second part proved to be difficult for Rey that morning.

"Something distracts you," Luke observed, as she failed for the third time to use the Force to defeat Luke as they sparred. He retreated from the offense, giving his charge time to rest. Rey sat down on a boulder in the clearing, using the time to catch her breath. She nodded in assent, admitting to her distraction. "Tell me about it,"

Rey shrugged, unsure if she wanted to admit it to him. "My friends have taken it upon themselves to drag me out tonight. They say I haven't had much fun lately."

"But you do not want to go," Her mentor finished the sentence for her. Rey shrugged again, noncommitting.

"They have different cares than I have," Rey finally confessed, "No matter what they have done, they could never understand what I have gone through. What I am going to continue to go through,"

Luke Skywalker looked at the young woman up and down. He cleared his throat before finally saying, "Those are words that I have heard before. And I will tell you, isolation will only lead you down a dark and dangerous road."

"Aren't Jedi's supposed to be isolated?" Rey countered, challenging his words for the first time since she had met him on the island, "I have heard the stories from when I was a child. The old Order was famous for not showing emotion. For breaking all connections with their former life,"

The old man closed his eyes, "I went into exile because there was still much I had to learn about being a Jedi. I did not have full training in my youth, and was forced to train others before I knew much of the Force myself. When I failed Ben – I realized I could not train until I was ready. And so, I exiled myself to study. To fully understand the ways of the Force."

Rey blinked, unsure of where the old man was going with this. But she knew better than to interrupt him.

"I realized that the ways of the old Jedi order, while steeped in tradition, were wrong." Rey let out a gasp, but the old man payed no attention. He continued, "Jedi were famous for constraining their emotions, hiding them from the world. But emotions are necessary, and denying them can only lead to dark thoughts. Denying emotions does not bring about balance, _accepting_ them does."

"I'm not sure what you mean," Rey asked, hoping for further explanation from her mentor.

"It was long believed that my father went over to the Dark Side because he gave in to his emotions. But my father fell not because he could not deny his emotions, but because he could not find balance between them. Love and hate. Anger and peace. They are a part of life, and to deny them leads to a lack of balance in a person."

"Is that what happened to Kylo Ren?" Rey worked up the courage to ask after a few moments of prolonged silence between the two.

The old Jedi looked at her, but he did not smile, "Go, Rey. Enjoy your friends' company. Find your own balance."

Rey did as she was instructed. It was only when she was halfway back to the base that she realized that her master had not answered her question.

* * *

Rey was surprised at herself. She had always been one who preferred isolation and quiet nights to the hustle and bustle of town. But, as she sat at a table drinking some strong ale with Poe and Finn, she realized that nights out on the town could actually be _fun._ There was music, there was dancing, and there was lots and lots of drinking. Rey had never been one to imbibe, mostly she could never have afforded such a luxury on Jakku. And now, she was falling quickly to the effects of the ale in front of her.

"Dance with me," Poe Dameron grabbed her hands, attempting to lead her away from the table and on to the dance floor. Immediately, Rey looked horrified.

"No, no," She shook her head, a mixture of laughs and hiccups erupting from her mouth as she protested. "Please, I do _not_ dance."

"Why not?" Finn asked from beside her as he lifted another pint to his lips, "Is the young Jedi frightened?"

"Frightened, yes," Rey laughed, "Of hurting someone."

"Aren't Jedi supposed to be graceful?" Poe laughed, not letting go of her hands. Playfully, she struggled against him. She truly did not want to dance, but she remembered the words of her mentor. She had to find balance.

"I suppose that means we have an imposter on our hands," Finn cried, as he handed Rey another pint of ale. She thanked him and took it graciously. Finn sat next to her, and began a conversation. Rey had to thank him for saving her from the humiliation of being forced to dance in front of all these different people.

Poe, resigned to defeat, sat down next to the two of them. Taking a swig from the pint that was in Rey's hand, he offered, "Let's play a drinking game. Truth or drink."

"Truth or drink," Rey repeated, giving her friend a skeptical look. She did not know if she liked the sound of that.

"Yeah, it's simple," Poe explained, "We all take turns asking each other questions. You have the choice to either answer it, or to take a drink."

"I don't know about that," Rey bit her bottom lip, "It doesn't sound like too much fun," It didn't. Despite the fact that she was trying to maintain a relationship with her friends, there were some things that she wanted to keep private.

"Aw, come on," Finn joined in the coercion, "If you don't want to answer it, all you have to do is take a drink. No harm in that, right?"

Rey shrugged, it seemed as if she was outvoted by her friends. "Alright, but I am not going first."

"Fine," Poe laughed, "Finn, you're up. Tell me the truth – do you think Rey is cute?"

Rey was grateful that the cantina was so dark – no one could see her ears turn pink at the question. She tried not to focus on Finn as he answered the question in the affirmative. She tried to use her training, and keep her emotions as stoic as humanly possible. She just could not think about Finn in that way. Their paths were just two different at this moment in time, and he could never understand exactly what she had to do. They were better off as just friends.

"Alright, Rey," Poe turned towards her. Rey silently hoped that he would not ask her about who she was attracted to, she did not even know if she wanted to think about that answer. "It's your turn. Tell me the truth - do you ever feel like taking everything you have learned and just go _rogue_ with it _?_ "

Rey stopped for a moment, considering her friends' question. She did not want to answer it. Carefully, she lifted her pint glass to her mouth and began to chug. She finished it, slamming it down on the table. Poe looked at her in disapproval, "Come on. That's no fun."

"Yeah," Finn chimed in, "I answered my question. Answer yours!"

"No," Rey said, putting her foot down.

"Come on," Finn pleaded, "It can't all be that bad,"

"You have no idea, Finn. No idea," Rey looked at him. Suddenly, she no longer wanted to be at the cantina. She got up from her seat, and began to make her way out of the makeshift bar. Her friends called after her, but she ignored.

As she walked back to her bunk, she fumed. How _dare_ they ask her something like that? She was a committed member of the Resistance, she was the one so many of them looked to for hope. Even if she had wanted to run away from it all, she never could. She had been chosen, born as someone sensitive to the Force. She never asked for it, she never wanted it. And yet, it had been thrust upon her. A burden that her friends could never _ever_ understand. No one could.

Well, maybe not _no one._

 _We are not so different, you and I._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** So, there we have it. Another chapter bites the dust! (I feel like I say that a lot). I hope this chapter holds some of you over. I may not be able to update for the next few days. I need to start grading and car shopping as well.

But, when you next see me the story will begin to pick up! More action! More adventure! More Kylo Ren!

As always, please let me know what you think! I wasn't lying when I said your reviews inspire me!


	7. Obedient and Defiant

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Chapter 7 is here! I had quite a difficult time writing this for two reasons: stress, and I made Rey really whiny in this chapter. I don't really like writing too much angst, and she comes off as very childish here. But there is a reason for it – I promise!

Also, every time I write a part with Leia in it and keep referring to her as "the general" I get a song from the musical Hamilton stuck in my head. I keep thinking of "here comes the general!" So, spot the Hamilton reference in here, if you can!

As always, thank you all for your amazing reviews! I was taken aback at how well the last chapter was received. Especially thank you to Ceruleon, Avid Vampire Hunter, Infinity Comes to an End, Alliel 23, For Pony 39, OodWhovian, Mia Aisli, sharpestsatire, Guest, MarchenHope93, Infinite101, Lononori, Akoto3725, jessiejelsing, Infinities Lover, Whisper184, MmeSylveon, Tomas284, ForeverDelighted, TheKatieBugg, ladybear92, Sunnyonteheights, lira'smoon, 1993, draccmalfoy, anon, xXxOtAkU-444xXx, Elen-Di MaidMarian17, perilxxx, Magiically, blookie, Elorrra8787, deadpoetsyachtclub, and bluejustice13. You all rock!

Magiically – I was hoping that someone would pick up on all the implied sexual tension! I don't know if it will change to an M rating, but I haven't totally thrown away that option yet. ;)

TheKatieBugg – I did not have any plans to address that particular scene, no. I actually need to rewatch the movie (I have only seen it once, but I am dying to go again). Next time, I'll have to pay closer attention.

ForeverDelighted – Definitely! It was something I tried to highlight – she's the one pushing them away. Partially, because strong friendships would keep her from turning to Kylo. Han and Leia were a huge part of keeping Luke grounded, so Kylo Ren has to get her to forget her friends to successfully "turn" her.

Akoto3725 – Thank you for your concern! Actually writing is my biggest stress relief at the moment (since being carless, I cannot get to the gym). This story has become my escape, which is partially why I've updated so much the past few days.

Sharpestsatire – Yes! It has everything to do with the new Jedi Order. What I always felt was strange about the Jedi was that people were either on the Light Side or the Dark Side, when obviously life is not that simple. In my story (which I have only begun to explain here) Luke realizes in exile that the old Jedi order denies the idea that people have both light and dark in side of them and can indeed find balance between the two in themselves (oh dear, it sounds SO campy when I say it like that).

* * *

 **Chapter Seven:** Obedient and Defiant

The next few days seemed to fly by faster than the Millennium Falcon at lightspeed. She had to admit that it was partially due to the fact that Rey avoided her friends for a majority of the time, unable to face them after her outburst the other night. She was angry at Finn, for even bringing such a stupid question up. How could he even think to ask her something like that? But she was angrier with herself, for reacting the way that she did. Outbursts like that were generally not like her, she did not know where all of the anger had come from. Rey had always been a stubborn girl, and she was not yet ready to admit that she was wrong. Instead, she channeled all her anger and energy in to her training. She had felt herself improving greatly as time went on, but using her anger made her able to run even faster and father. She could even spar better, and had sometimes even won against the Jedi master.

If Rey was being completely honest, using her anger was freeing for her. She had become tired of hiding all of her emotions from everyone. At least now she had an outlet for it.

If Luke noticed her improvements during training, he did not let on. Aside from his piece of advice to her on the day she went out with her friends, he remained as stoic and as distant from her as ever. He treated her like a client, and not a student. He pushed her to her limits, and when she achieved everything that he asked of her, and sometimes more, he responded without so much as a "job well done." Rey felt herself getting shorter and shorter with her master – she was finding it hard to open up to and respect him when he would not do the same for her. She did what he asked of her, and nothing more.

The two of them were in the middle of sparring with her newly finished lightsaber when they heard it. A loud alarm erupted from the center of base. Both of them knew what that meant: a call to arms.

"Something is happening," Rey said, immediately disarming herself. Her master looked slightly taken aback at her reaction to the alarm, but he did not say anything. She began to grab her things, ready to join the other soldiers on whatever mission that General Organa laid out for them. Luke did not say anything, but followed her to the command center where every other soldier was congregating.

Rey had to admit that there was a part of her that was excited for this. After weeks of doing nothing except waiting around like sitting ducks, there was some new information. Some new plan. Some strategy that actually involved _action_ for once.

The general stood at the center of the room, a hologram of a large starship in the air above her. Rey could not remember the class of the ship, but she could tell that it was a remnant of the former Galactic Empire and now belonged to the First Order. She had a feeling, a gut instinct about this ship. Something, or _someone,_ sinister was on it.

General Organa looked at the soldiers who stood before her. Taking a deep breath, the experienced general began to outline the mission for them, "Reconnaissance missions have found new intelligence about this ship right here. As many of you know, we have been looking for information about any new weapons or offensive strategies of the First Order."

Various soldiers, including Poe Dameron and Finn, nodded their head as General Organa continued with her debrief, "We have gained intelligence that this ship contains a new weapon being built by the First Order. This new weapon would be small, something that could fit _inside_ of the ship. But, from what we know about it, we cannot let the First Order finish the weapon. Once they do, it would give them untold advantages over us."

"I have selected some of you to board the ship and find the weapon. However, it will not be an easy task. They would know we were coming from a mile away." General Organa looked solemnly at the soldiers in front of her, "We are outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered, out-planned. We need to find a way to divert their attention away from our mission,"

"A distraction?" Finn offered, speaking up from the anonymity of the crowd.

"Exactly," The general nodded at him, "The rest of you will be tasked with attacking a ship further away. The scale of the planned attack should be enough to divert Stormtroopers and fighters away from our target."

Rey nodded along with the rest of the soldiers; the plan made sense. She was finally happy to be doing _something._ Training had been immensely useful, but she did not like feeling like a sitting duck. She began to file out with the rest of the soldiers, following behind them in line. She was going to prepare for the attack. But then she felt a tug on her arm. She turned back, and her master was looking at her. "You are not going,"

Rey felt her jaw drop at his words. She did not care if she looked more like a petulant child than a Jedi apprentice, "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said," His voice was calm, as it always was, "You are not ready to fight. I can sense it, _he_ is on that ship. You have not yet completed enough training to face him."

"I have faced him before," Rey countered, "And I have done just fine. Without any training, we were evenly matched." Rey raised her chin slightly; she was not going to back down from this argument. She had been training for this moment. This was what she was told her new mission in life was – and yet Luke Skywalker was going to deny it to her?

The Jedi shook his head, "You are not ready for this. And you are _not_ going,"

He founded like a parent, denying his child the right to go out in the world.

"Luke is right, Rey," General Organa said, as she walked towards the two of them. The three of them were the only ones left in the room; other soldiers had gone to prepare for the attack, "We need you to complete your training. To gain experience before we send you off into war."

Rey scoffed, "Experience? I'll never get experience if I'm not out there fighting with the rest of them."

"Your reaction to this shows me you are not yet ready," The Jedi looked at her. His expression told her that he was not even entertaining the idea of letting her go on this mission, "You will not be leaving."

She knew it was an order. In the back of her mind, something was telling her to just accept it. But she could not help but be defiant. Her blood was boiling when she spat back at him, "I am not a _child._ Stop speaking to me like I am one. I survived years on my own without someone telling me what I could and could not do."

"You are not ready-" The Jedi began to repeat the line that Rey had heard over and over again. But she stopped him then and there; she did not want to hear it again.

"You don't know about me," Rey spat, "You barely speak to me other than ordering me around. I don't know why, but you can barely look at me. So don't pretend like you know me," Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew how childish she sounded. But at the moment, she did not care. These feelings had been building up for the past few weeks, and now they were erupting out of her like lava from a volcano.

"Rey," The voice that spoke next was the general, "I will not authorize you to go with the rest of them. You are to remain here and finish you training, until _I_ decide that you are ready." The old woman looked to her brother, giving him a slight nod. Rey scoffed, it was completely obvious that there was no way she was going to win this. She turned on her heel, and stormed out of the command center. She did not wait for Luke or the general to dismiss her.

* * *

Rey paced back and forth in her bunk, certain that she was causing tread on the cold metal floors. She was still fuming from her argument with her master only hours earlier. How could he be so callous towards her? He had seen her skill, yes, but he knew _nothing_ about her. He barely tried to get to know her and flat out refused to let her get to know him. He could not say that she was not ready, when it was so clear that _she was._

Kylo Ren was on that ship, Luke had said. She was not ready to face him,Luke had argued. But she _had_ to face him. She had to defeat him once and for all so she could get him out of her damn head. She needed that monster gone from her life. For good. In a fit of frustration, Rey threw her fists against the wall. She hated being confined, useless, while everyone else went to go fight without her.

 _Prove him wrong,_ a voice inside her head told her. Rey frowned, she knew that the voice did not come anywhere from her. It was coming from _him._ Rey shook her head in a feeble attempt to get him out of there. But it was no use. _Come, and face me. Face me and win and prove Luke Skywalker wrong about you._

No, she shook her head as she continued to pace around the room. She couldn't do that, the general had forbade her from leaving the base. She could not leave, no matter how bad she wanted to prove herself to her master.

"He's worried I'll turn out just like that monster," Rey frowned, balling her hands into fists as she pounded them against the wall in frustration. "He has no damn faith in me,"

 _Prove him wrong._

Rey frowned. She had to get out of her room, she was feeling far too confined in the small space. She had to clear her headed, and needed the open air to do that. Grabbing a light orange pilot's jacket that the Resistance had provided to keep her protected from the cool night air, she headed outside. Fresh air would help her to clear her head, she was certain of that.

The base was bustling with activity, fighters were taking off and headed to the stars. Pilots were running around making last minute adjustments to their flight plans. Rey could not help but feel a pang of jealousy as she watched them prepare for war. She wanted to experience the action, she wanted to help the Resistance like she knew she was supposed to. She wandered around, aimlessly at first. She tried to pick up her pace in an attempt to blow off some steam. And that was when she happened upon it. It was a deserted hanger, on the edge of the rebel base. Curiously, Rey began to wander about the abandoned hanger. It was full of old x-wings, from days of the old Rebel Alliance.

After tinkering around with them for a few moments, she realized that they were in perfect working order.

She knew that she shouldn't have done it. But the temptation was far too great.

 _Prove him wrong._

She was lucky that she had the cover of darkness to hide her from the sight of the general or Luke. Her jacket also helped to camouflage her; she looked like everyone else who was running about preparing for the planned attack. She knew that her mentor would find out quickly, if not immediately, that she had disappeared from the planet – she had to act fast if she was going to go through with it. With her new lightsaber attached to her hip, she climbed into the older fighter. She began to play around with the various controls, getting a feel for the new ship. When she felt comfortable enough, she put on the protective helmet and prepared for take off.

She remembered the coordinates from the presentation that General Organa gave earlier that day. She plugged them in to the fighter and set her course.

Luke Skywalker was going to learn that Rey was not the kind of girl to take things lying down.

She took off, falling into a flight pattern with other Resistance x-wings. She looked no different from any of the other fighters from where she stood, there was no way that anyone would know that she did not belong with the rest of them.

Almost immediately, Rey felt a pit in her bottom of her stomach. She knew the chance of her facing Kylo Ren was great. She had accepted it. What was more, _she was looking forward to it._ She was ready to show him that he did not own her, that his head games were not working on her. But that did not mean that she was not nervous about it. She had to win against him, otherwise she was not going to hear the end of it from her master. The nervous feeling only increased the further she got from the D'Qar.

 _You could always turn back,_ a voice told her from somewhere in her head.

No, Rey had decided. She had to prove herself to him.

 _Which "him" are you thinking of?_

Rey shook her head, trying to clear all thoughts from her mind. If she was going to do battle, she would have to have a clear head.

* * *

It was only about after an hour or so of flying that the group of fighters broke off in to two distinct groups. A smaller group of ships went off in one direction, while a larger contingent of pilots went off in another. Rey had to make a decision – which way was she going to go? She veered off in the direction of the smaller group, she was certain they were going to be the ones actually boarding the correct ship. Strategically, it only made sense.

That was when she heard a disembodied voice come over her com, "What the hell are you doing here? General Organa explicitly said that you were not to come with us."

Rey could tell immediately that the voice belonged to Poe Dameron, the prized pilot of the Resistance. Of course he was on this mission. "Change of plans," Rey replied, increasing her speed to catch up to the other pilots. She fell in to formation with them, again. Next to her, she could see that her friend had dropped his speed to be right beside her. Through the glass panes of the fighter, she could see the blatant look of disapproval on his face.

"You're jeopardizing everything, Rey," His voice was full of disapproval, matching his expression.

"You can yell at me after we get this done," was her only reply.

She knew that Poe was about to say something else but he had been cut off by another voice from their contingent, "Boss, we have guests incoming,"

Rey looked to her left, she could see a group of First Order fighters closing in on them. She cursed slightly under her breath, she could only guess that the Resistance's diversion had not worked. Immediately, the First Order began firing upon the soldiers. Rey did her best to dodge the shots. She veered left, then right. She could feel herself being jostled around in her seat as she maneuvered out of the way. She was a little rusty in her piloting skills, but she was holding her own. _See, Luke. I am ready for this._

If only for the briefest of moments, Rey was over-confident. She maneuvered out of the way of one fighter, only to be directly hit by another. The impact of the shot set her spinning off course, her head roughly hitting the side of her own craft. She was alone, separated from other members of the First Order. But being set off course had its own advantages. She noticed it out of the corner of her eye - the docking bay of the First Order starship was open, having just released more of its own fighter pilots. This was Rey's chance.

While everyone was distracted with the ensuing fight, she could easily just make a break for it and board the starship. She could prove herself. Without fully thinking about it, Rey increased her speed. She was going to make it on board; she was going to find the weapon that the general spoke about. She was going to prove herself.

Rey went for it, increasing her speed even more as she tried to make her way past other fighters. It only took a matter of seconds, but Rey made her way past a defensive line of fighters, and on to the starship. _It was almost too easy_ , she thought to herself as she brought her x-wing to a complete stop.

"Rey, what the hell are you doin-" she could hear Poe's voice in her ear before it cut off completely.

She had done it.

But she was completely alone.

And she was behind enemy lines.

* * *

 **Author's Note** : Here we are! Character building chapters are done! And finally, all of you who are beginning for a face to face meet will get that soon! Please let me know what you think.


	8. Hard and Easy

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : I have to say, I think this is one of my favorite chapters so far! That being said, I finished it last night and was going to post it, but I was told by some of my friends who know I write that I had to wait a little bit longer to post it. But I hope you like this chapter as much as I do!

Special thank you to all of my lovely reviewers – and there are a lot of you this time around! Please, keep them coming. They are my inspiration, truly. Thank you MadTeaParty92, jackiemack916, Avid Vampire Hunter, GreekGoddessHestia, BW, Sunnyonthehights, Infinity Comes to A End, BDarkbracken, MLM24, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusfan, ladybear92, desna99 AKoto3725, kryflonka, Alliel 23, Guest, ForeverDelighted, Ceruleon, MaidMarian17, The Last Fallen Angel, Malakaii, ForPony39, xcislyfe22, Mia Aisli, PurpleLightning12, projektrevolution20, M. Jade, Elorrra8787, elfigreen14, lachesisBenton, Guest, Magiically, xXxOtAkU-444xXx, Anon, Tiara of Sapphires, marvelgirl03, MoonMoon91, AtiamaAmisl, Infinite101, TheKatieBugg, Infinities Lover, ZoopBooper, bluejustic13, Wings through Skies, The-Splatoon-Rook 64, and MmeSylveon.

Tiara of Sapphires – you got the Hamilton reference! One of the few who did it. I'm glad you liked it!

Elfigreen14 – Yes that was a Hamilton reference! As a history teacher, it is my current obsession. If only I could afford tickets.

ForeverDelighted – I'm glad you've picked up on that! She's not actually resisting at all, but she has gotten overly cocky. Which, honestly, is something that happened to Anakin as well.

Sorry there aren't more replies, but I skipped out on a lot of grading to write this and I NEED to get some of that done now. Enjoy, and remember to let me know what you think!

* * *

 **Chapter Eight:** Hard and Easy

Rey let herself catch her breath as she sat in the cockpit of her little X-Wing fighter. Her adrenaline was soaring, and beads of sweat pooled on her forehead. She wiped herself quickly as she tried to come up with some kind of plan. No doubt there were already a team of Stormtroopers surrounding her aircraft, blasters ready to fire, waiting for her to exit so that they could take her captive and present her to the sadistic Kylo Ren. She waited for the inevitable impact of a shot from a blaster, or the sound of an order telling her to give up and surrender herself. But they never came. The area surrounding her X-Wing was completely silent. There was no one charging at her, which meant that she was either alone or completely surrounded, deemed to be little more than an already neutralized threat. Somehow, she did not think that it was the former. She double checked herself, making sure she was as armed as humanly possible. If she was going to find this weapon and be successful in her self-imposed mission, she was going have to take on as many Stormtroopers as she could. Bracing herself for the fight she was certain would ensue, she opened the door to the cockpit. Immediately, she aimed her blaster in front of her. She was ready to strike, and strike hard, if need be.

But to her great surprise, she was alone in the docking bay. She frowned; she had not expected it to be _that_ easy. But Rey was also not one to look a gift horse in the mouth; she was going to take full advantage of the situation she was presented. Immediately, she sprang in to action. She ran towards the entrance to the corridor, her mind trying to recall the possible locations of the weapon that the general had offered during her debrief on the mission. Biting her bottom lip, Rey raced towards the corridors, hoping for find some semblance of coverage to keep her location hidden from the enemy.

She tried multiple doors, all of which seemed locked without a droid to access them. Silently, she cursed to herself. If she stayed in the docking bay, she would be like a sitting duck just waiting to be hunted. And Kylo Ren would take great pleasure in hunting her down. She had to find a way out of the open floor plan.

After what felt like an eternity, she came to a door that she was able to open after pushing a few select buttons. Thanking her lucky stars, Rey made her way to the back corridor. She attempted to steady her breathing, knowing that gasping for air would draw unwanted attention to her. She kept her blaster out, ready to fire the second she came into contact with anyone. But there was no one in sight; it was as if the massive star ship was completely deserted. It was _too_ easy. She walked a little further down, expecting at some point she would run in to someone. A group of Stormtroopers. First Order generals, lieutenants, or captains. But with every empty corner that she turned, she was filled with more and more dread.

 _It was too easy._

Immediately, Rey began to suspect the worst. She should never have disobeyed her master – she should have never tried to do this on her own. Luke was right, she was not ready for this. There were too many variables that Rey had not even thought about before running off to play the hero. She had not fully thought this through. And that was when the realization hit her. This mission was not just easy. It was a _trap._ She was filled with a sense of impending dread. As soon as she realized exactly what she had walked in to, she felt a pit in her stomach. She tried to turn back, to find her way back to the docking bay. Perhaps she could remain undetected and find her way back to D'Qar. Her master would surely forgive her stupid mistake, she was only an apprentice after all. If only she could get back.

She heard, from somewhere in the distance, a pair of boots on the ground. They were calmly making their way towards her. Rey swallowed, she had not gone as undetected as she originally thought. _I just walked straight into a trap._

Rey turned her back and ran in the direction that she came from.

She found the door that had let her in to the corridor to the docking bay. But where it had once been left wide open, it was now barred shut. Frantically, the young woman pushed a series of key codes to try and gain passage through. But all efforts were futile. She was most certainly trapped.

Rey heard that set of boots coming steadily behind her. Whoever had been trailing her had finally caught up. She did not stop trying to unlock the door, although she knew that it was no use. Whoever was behind her had intentionally let her into the corridor, and locked the door behind her. She was going to be captured.

"We did not think you would take the bait," A steady voice from behind greeted her coolly. But it was not the voice that she expected, "We did not think that the Resistance would truly believe false information planted in our computer systems. You all must truly be dim."

Rey turned around to greet her captor. The orange haired general gave her a small, eerie smile as he continued, "I would have expected better from you, if I am being quite honest. You were the Jedi apprentice, the only one to match the skill of our own knight in battle. And yet you came so easily. Like a little mouse, walking straight into a trap." He approached her. Rey could not move, she was trapped between the First Order general and the door.

He grabbed Rey's jaw, forcing her to make eye contact with him. She wanted to scream, but knew it would be no use. The last thing she wanted to do was show any semblance of fear in front of this cretin. "Tell me, little mouse, what makes you so special? Why does our Supreme Leader want you here so bad? Why is Kylo Ren so enamored with you?"

Rey had it. She knew she could not fight, there was no way she could reach for her lightsaber and try to fight this horrible human being. The second that she did, she knew she would be forcible restrained. There was no winning in this situation. There had to be something that she could do, a final act of defiance in the face of her captor. Without another word, Rey spat in the general's face.

The last thing she saw before everything went dark was the general's fist hurdling towards her face.

* * *

When Rey finally came to, she had momentarily forgotten where she was. It took her the briefest of moments to remember where she was, and how she had come to be there. She remembered her stupidity, falling straight into the trap laid out by General Hux. As she recalled her last encounter with the red headed general, she carefully lifted her hand to her face. Almost immediately, she could feel the large and swollen spot under her eye. It was swollen shut. She winced as her hand carefully grazed the skin there; it was tender. _Well, that explains the blurry vision,_ she thought to herself.

She assessed herself for any other injuries. She had to wonder if they had done anything to her while she was unconscious. But she seemed to be okay, apart from her swollen eye. Her weapons were gone, taken from her no doubt when her captors threw her in to her cell. She was not bound, like she was the last time. Whoever had decided to place her here seemed confident that she would not be able to run. They obviously underestimated her.

Immediately, Rey began to take inventory of her surroundings. There had to be something here that could help her to escape her captivity. She was placed in a single-person holding cell. She was currently sitting on a cold metal slab, no doubt meant to be some kind of bed. What shocked her, though, was that she had been given a pillow. It was flat, stained, and no doubt uncomfortable… but it was a pillow nonetheless. Why give her some symbol of comfort in this horrible place?

Rey tried to push her mind from the pillow, although she did cling to it fiercely as she assessed her surroundings. There was nothing of consequence in her cell, nothing that she could use to plot her escape. But that still did not stop her from coming up with a plan. She tried her hardest, running through all possible situations in her head.

Rey had been conscious for around twenty minutes when she began to feel it. Her head was hurting, no doubt caused by the pain from the blow to her face. She ignored it for a while, but the pain grew to the point where she could not stand to keep her eyes open. She laid her head down on her haggard pillow, trying to relieve the pain somewhat. It worked, but as she lay there she found it harder and harder to keep her eyes open. In no time, despite her best efforts, Rey fell unconscious again, clinging to her pillow.

* * *

When she woke again, she knew immediately where she was. She groaned, however, hoping that it had been nothing but a horrible dream. Unfortunately, the harsh light from the cell immediately proved her wrong. This was real, her captivity was real.

She tried to figure out how long she had been unconscious, how long she had been stuck here. Her throat was dry, and her head felt heavy. Growing up on the desert planet of Jakku, Rey was quick to recognize the signs of dehydration. Based on her symptoms, she felt that she could not have been there for more than two days, without water. Rey sighed, she wished there was some way she could keep a marker going. She wanted to keep track.

That was when she saw it, on the floor by a wall in her tiny cell. A tray of food.

It was not much. In fact, it was food that was comparable to her time on Jakku. Very minimal, providing nothing more than bare sustenance. But it was something. And next to the small tray was a cup of water. She scooted on the floor of her cell, closer to the temptation of food. Immediately, Rey reached for it. But before she put the cup to her lips, she thought better of it. Gingerly, she set the cup down, not wanting to spill the liquid inside of it.

"It is not poisoned," Immediately, her head shot up to see who had entered the small cell. The tall, dark, masked figure that haunted her nightmares for the past few months looked down at her. Rey felt all of her muscles stiffen, and her heartbeat more than doubled at the sight of him. She shuffled away from him, her back against the wall. "If I wanted to kill you, I would have done so already."

Rey did not reply, and she did not move as the masked knight moved closer to her. He reached out his gloved hand to her face; instinctively, she flinched away. But that did not deter him. Gently, he stroked the bruise on her swollen eye. Rey did her best to hide the involuntary wince at the pain. But it was no use, Kylo Ren was too perceptive, "I instructed them not to hurt you. You are of no use to me broken,"

Rey did not say anything, although she was thoroughly confused by the meaning of the dark knight's words. She pulled away from him again, repulsed by his touch.

"You are already much stronger than you once were," He continued, ignoring her obvious repulsion. "But you do not yet know the full force of your power. Tell me, do you want reach your full potential? Do you want to know just what you can do? How powerful you are? Skywalker would deny you that, your _birthright_. But you could truly –" he paused for a moment. Even behind a mask, Rey could tell that the bastard was smiling, " _blossom_ here. Under my tutelage."

"I'd rather die," Rey spat out at him, breathing heavy.

"We shall see about that. Luke Skywalker has kept a lot hidden from you. He did the same thing to me. Supreme Leader Snoke would not deny you. _I_ would not deny you."

"Not all enough are _weak_ enough to be tempted by such false promises," She scoffed. But almost as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. Her comment set the dark knight off. He launched at her, his hands wrapping tightly around her throat.

"We shall see who is the weak one, desert rat,"

Rey tried to pull his hands off of her. But he outmatched her – physically at least. She struggled against him, kicking and punching. But her dehydration made her weak. She would not win against him. Not this way.

But she had to try something.

Rey stopped resisting him, and instead put all of her focus into her mind. She was no match for him physically, but mentally she could take him. Using the Force, she tried to push him away. It was unlike what she did in her training, this was not like moving inanimate objects. Initially, Rey had caught him unawares. She could feel him loosen his grip around her throat in surprise. She got the advantage, and she tried her hardest to keep it. She pushed him with her mind even farther, but the second that he caught on to what she was doing he began to fight back.

 _Do not resist me._ The voice echoed in her mind.

Rey and Ren were pushing against each other's minds now. Rey was becoming exhausted, she was still too weak from her beating to take him. But she would not give up; the knight's grip on her throat was loosening even more now. She could finally get him off of her…

 _Suddenly, Rey was on a planet that she did not recognize, she had never been there before. But she was standing there, as throngs of young children ran by. A young girl with long dark hair lagged behind the rest, unable to keep up. In front of Rey, the young girl stopped, stomping on the ground in frustration. She did not seem to notice the young woman standing just a few feet from her. But Rey could not help but notice something eerily familiar about the girl._

 _She watched helplessly as the little girl began to cry. Rey wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort her. To tell her that she knew what it was like to be so alone too. But before she could even try, two figures, one short and one tall, approached the crying young girl. Rey looked on, wide eyed, at the ensuing exchange. She knew the two figures._

" _Master," The short figure said, "Why is she crying?"_

" _I'm crying because I'm lonely," The young girl said, the fire evident in her voice. She was not going to let anyone answer for her. Immediately, Rey identified with the little girl. "No one ever wants to play with me. They think that I am too strange."_

" _They think you are strange because you are special," The tall figure knelt down so he was at eye-level with the young girl. His voice was calm and reassuring as he spoke to her, "I help special people, I train them so that they one day can be Jedi."_

" _Jedi?" The girl asked, her eyes lighting with fascination, "Like in the stories?"_

 _The elder figure nodded as he spoke to the child, "I would like to train you."_

" _Me?" The little girl asked, wide eyed. She looked eager, but she bit her bottom lip, "I don't know. I can't leave my momma and poppa." She turned her head, looking at the direction that she came from. There was someone waiting for her at home._

" _I spoke to your mother and father," The older man explained, his voice soothing as he spoke to the child. "Your family have produced Jedi before. They knew to expect that something like this may happen."_

 _The girl took a few moments to process what he was saying, "I could learn to be a Jedi Knight?"_

 _The taller figure nodded, and stood up. "If you would like to come with me, then yes." He extended his hand to her._

 _The little girl hesitated for another moment, looking between the two figures. Rey watched as he took the taller one's hand. The younger one gave her a small smile, "Hi there. I'm Ben."_

 _Rey watched on as the little girl smiled back and introduced herself, "My name is Rey. Rey Kenobi."_

As Rey came back into the present, she gasped for air as if she had been underwater for a long period of time. When she looked at her surroundings, she noticed that Kylo Ren was no longer gripping her throat. The dark knight was staggering away from her, taking off his mask as he gasped for air.

Rey was too distracted processing what she had just seen to pay attention to the young angelic face that was hidden behind the mask. _What the hell had she just seen?_

"What did you do to me?" Ren's face was contorted in anger as he hissed at her, "What the hell was that?"

Rey was still trying to figure that one out, "I-I don't know!"

She was still trying to catch her breath as Kylo Ren stormed out of her cell in anger.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well, there we are! Please let me know what you think of it! I feed off reviews, and the more I see in my inbox the more tempted I am to forgo grading and write for you guys instead. (Also, I really really do not want to grade these projects, so you would be doing me a huge favor!)


	9. Remembrance and Forgetfulness

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : So I am terribly sorry about not having updated in a couple of days. I have a couple of reasons for that. My boyfriend, for Christmas, got me a lovely day at the spa, which I had on New Year's Eve (before going out and celebrating). And then, New Year's Day, he and I spent the day watching all of the original Star Wars movies, which was great (and inspiring!) And today, unfortunately, I spent a majority of my time grading (it has got to get done, as much as I would rather be writing this).

Speaking of grading, my winter break ends soon. Which means I will be back to work (yay carpooling until my financing goes through on my new car) on Monday. That being said, a majority of my time must go to planning. I won't be able to update as rapidly as I have been the past week or so. So, my plan is (starting after this chapter) to update one a week. Unless something comes up, I will update on Thursdays, most likely around 7pm EST.

Finally I really wish I could see reviews! Something is up with the website, and I know I am not the only one having these problems. I have gotten many emails with reviews, so I have read most of them. I just can't get a list going so thank you all individually. I can't even reply to reviews right now. Please know that I am forever grateful, for your reviews and to keep them coming (I can still read them in my email!)

* * *

 **Chapter Nine:** Remembrance and Forgetfulness

The second that he left his prisoner's cell, Kylo Ren flew into a fit of outrage. What had the little witch done to him? Was she using her newly discovered powers to implant a false memory in his head? Was she trying to play games with his emotions, to get him to doubt himself? It was going to take much more than a simple mind trick to fool him. Although he often longed to forget it, he remembered his childhood, his mother and father. He remembered his training with Luke Skywalker. That desert rat had absolutely no place in his memories. Whatever it was that he had seen just had to be false.

And yet, there had always been something about the desert rat – _Rey_ , her name weaseled its way into his subconscious - that seemed oddly familiar. He just had not been able to place his finger on it. He always wondered why he was so concerned with her, reaching out to her above everyone else. Perhaps this was it: the connection that he had felt with her since the moment that they had first met. A connection that, perhaps, was forged years ago. Why would he have forgotten her through the years when he remembered so much from his past? What made him forget? _Who_ made him forget?

Ren did not like feeling confused. He preferred to be confident with everything in his life, and that included his childhood memories. He felt his own anger at the situation he was in, his own confusion, boiling over. Furious, he began to attack the wall outside of cell with his lightsaber. He shredded the metal until his breathing was staggered and his rage was placated somewhat. The Stormtroopers who stood guard outside did not flinch at the outburst. But Ren paid the insignificant underling no mind. His thoughts were occupied with the little rat in the next room. How dare she mess with his head like that? He loathed recalling memories of his childhood. Now it was all he would be able to think about, wondering what was real and what was not.

And it seemed as though the one who held the keys to that particular answer was his prisoner. It was a good thing that the little desert rat was not going anywhere.

As he walked away from the girl's cell, Ren mulled over the encounter he just had. There had been more than just the revelation that could have known the girl in his past.

 _Rey Kenobi._

The last name was familiar to him, of course. During his training with Skywalker, he heard stories of the great Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi who had begun the training of his former master. The Jedi who had trained the young Anakin. Skywalker revered the man, so much so that it made Ren sick. He remembered Luke Skywalker searching the galaxy for remaining members of the Kenobi clan while gathering Force-sensitive younglings to teach, basing his search on old records he had found in the old temple on Coruscant. It was a powerful name, fit for a powerful Jedi.

He remembered that much.

But then why could he not remember meeting her in his childhood?

If this peculiar vision was actually a memory, then it would explain why the girl already was so powerful. She would have had some training, no matter how repressed it was in her mind. And if she truly was a Kenobi, she had so much untapped potential. Potential that he could use, if only she would join him… willingly.

Kylo Ren took one last look at the door to the woman's cell before turning away.

He had some new information to report to the Supreme Leader.

* * *

She had been there for a total of ten days.

There were ten marks on the wall of her lowly little cell. She had taken the dull knife from her food tray and broke it in half, creating a jagged edge that was sharp enough for her to use to make marks on the wall. Just like she had done as a young girl on Jakku, waiting for the parents she thought would return for her. There were a total of ten short little lines– two for the days that she had spent drifting in and out of consciousness since her capture, and eight days since her shared… experience with Kylo Ren.

Rey was reluctant to call whatever she had experienced a memory. After all, she barely recognized the planet she had supposedly been on in the memory. She had no recollection of every having met Luke Skywalker or a young Ben Solo during her childhood. The girl in that vision had been young, yes. But still old enough to remember her past. There was no way that Rey could have forgotten her own childhood, her own parents. Her own training to become a Jedi. Every time she thought about it, she could not discern any answers. Only more questions. If that vision truly was a memory, why did Luke Skywalker not say anything to her on the island that day? Her head was spinning in circles the more that she thought about it. Rey wanted nothing more than to push that vision from her head, to forget about it completely.

But eight days of solitude made it difficult for her to think of anything else.

 _Rey Kenobi._

 _Rey Kenobi._

 _Kenobi._

The word was foreign to her, she could not remember hearing it before in her life. It was a name, yes. But she was not so certain it could have been hers. She started saying the name aloud, trying it out on her lips. She hoped that somehow, it could jog another memory, anything that would have helped her to figure out the truth. But the more she said the name out loud, the more it sounded as if it was a name belonging to a stranger.

"It doesn't matter what happened in the past," Rey said aloud, in order to reassure herself. She had begun speaking aloud in her cell, attempting to break the intense silence that surrounded her during her captivity. It was comforting to hear a voice, despite the fact that it was just her own. "All that matters is the present. And presently, you need to find your way out of here."

And yet, Rey was consumed by the memory. If it was real, why was she only now recalling it? What had made her forget her past so long ago? What made her forget her master, and the young Ben? Rey shuddered, she felt uncomfortable confronting the fact that she may have known the young Ben Solo before he became the monster that he currently was. That they could have shared a past connection.

But Kylo Ren had seemed just as disturbed by it as she was. How could it be possible that they both forgot?

He had not come back to her cell since their first encounter. On one hand, Rey was grateful for that. Any moment in his presence was one moment too many. And yet, he had seen exactly what she had. Under the present circumstances, he was the only one who would be able to understand. He could help her make sense of this whole mess.

"Oh, now you have to be going crazy," She said aloud to herself. "You cannot look to that bastard for help."

Rey was about to reply to herself when she heard movement directly outside of her cell. The door slid open, the dark cloaked Kylo Ren stood at the foot of her cell. Momentarily, Rey stopped breathing. But she did her best to put on a calm façade in the face of the knight. She could not read his expression, which was hidden behind his cowardly mask, but he did give her a simple command, "You will follow me,"

Rey was very tempted to ignore him completely. She would have loved nothing more than to see the look on his face when she flat out refused to obey him. But she did not have any choice. Almost as soon as the command was given, two armed Stormtroopers roughly grabbed her by each arm and forcibly dragged her out. Once Rey was able to get the proper footing and achieve balance, she swung her arms out of the grasp of the foot soldiers. "I can very well walk on my own,"

"As you wish," She heard the voice of Kylo Ren from ahead of her. Rey scoffed, if she got what she truly wished, she would be leagues away from this awful place by now. But she was in self-preservation mode, and she did not want to provoke the hot-headed knight. Absentmindedly, her hand drifted towards her throat, where he had wrapped his hands around her in a fit of rage. Her eyes narrowed; she truly hated the bastard.

Rey walked in silence for the rest of the way. She could only assume they had reached their destination when her Stormtrooper guard stopped her at a large, black door. As soon as they approached, Rey had a bad feeling about whatever could possibly be behind it. She could sense something _dark_ behind those doors; she did not want to confront whatever was on the other side. Almost instinctively, she made to turn away from the doors but a gloved hand was on her shoulder, keeping her from running away. She took a deep breath as it opened, as she was forced to walk through, with Kylo Ren holding her shoulder the entire time.

The two of them walked alone through the door and down a long hallway. There was no sound between them other than their synchronous steps against the metal floor. Rey kept her eyes focused on her own boots; she did not want to look up and see what was giving her such a horrible feeling. _This what the true Dark Side must feel like,_ Rey thought to herself. At a certain point, the pair stopped walking. Rey kept her head down, but after a few moments Ren jerked her shoulders, forcing her head up to confront the evil she had been trying to avoid.

When she finally looked up, Rey gaped at what she saw. A hologram, towering above the two of them. The dark figure loomed over them, his eyes landing on Rey. To her absolute disgust, the creature _smiled_ at her. Involuntarily, a chill ran through her spine. She stood up a little straighter, lifting her chin in an attempt to put on her bravest fact. She was not going to let this creature know just how terrified he was.

The dark figure's voice boomed as he laughed at her, "You do not fool me, child. Do not deny your fear,"

"I am not scared of a hologram," Rey remarked, defiant through her terror. She looked up at him, unwilling to let him have the pleasure of witnessing her fear. But almost soon as the words escaped her lips, she felt a sharp pain radiate throughout her head. From her head, she could feel the pain radiated throughout her entire body. She fell to her knees, unable to stand anymore. Rey cried out in agony, unable to keep her emotions in check. She did not know how long the ordeal lasted; to her, it felt like it could have been hours.

"Do not underestimate me, girl," The crooked voice from the hologram said as the pain finally subsided.

"Supreme Leader Snoke," Ren, who had up until this point been silent, finally spoke up, "Everyone is in their positions. We are ready to begin at your command, my lord."

"Very well. Bring the girl to the window," She heard the voice command. She felt Ren's hand on her shoulder again, this time gently pulling her up into a standing position. He guided her to the window overlooking the vast expanse of space, taking his time, as Rey's knees were still weak from the pain. For a moment, Rey wondered what she was supposed to be looking at. But that was when she saw them. Resistance fighters, heading right towards them: a rescue mission. Immediately, Rey was filled with immeasurable dread. They were walking straight in to another trap.

Rey watched on, helplessly, as the Resistance pilots were ambushed, with First Order ships attacking them at all ends. Her mouth was agape in horror as X-Wings were being shot at and destroyed left and right. She let out a little cry in devastation. She did not know who was out there, but her mind was reeling with the possibilities of those who had died to rescue her. It could have been Finn, or Poe. She tried to reach out, to use the Force to feel fir the presence of her friends. But it was no use, her emotions were not in check. She was not calm. She had absolutely no way of knowing who was out there. She closed her eyes, not wanting to watch any more of that. Without any sort of warning, the tears fell from Rey's eyes.

She caused this, the deaths of innocent people. It was all her fault.

Although she could not see him, she could hear the smile in the hologram's voice, "Behold the power of the Dark Side. The power of the side that does not fail. The power you could have if you joined us."

Through her tears, Rey was about to tell Snoke just what she thought of the powers of the Dark Side. She did not care if she was tortured again for her remarks. She needed to yell and express her writhing anger. But she was cut off by someone else.

"You could protect them," She heard the distorted voice of Kylo Ren. If Rey did not know any better, she thought she could detect some pity for her in his tone, "Join us, and we can guarantee your friends' safety."

Rey looked up at him, unable to hide the confusion from her face. Her friends, Finn and Poe, they could still be alive? But before she could say anything, the knight continued, "We can show you how to protect your loved ones, something that Skywalker could not do. Something that he refuses to do."

Rey narrowed her eyes, trying to make sense of his words. But she could not wrap her head around it; would she be able to sacrifice her freedom, or own moral compass, for the lives of her friends? She looked back out at the battleground in front of her. All that was left was debris. In the distance, she could see one X-Wing, making its hasty retreat back to the Resistance. Silently, she prayed for his safe travel back to wherever he had come from.

"Give our guest time to think on it," She heard the cruel voice of Snoke from the center of the room. She refused to look at the projection of the First Order's leader.

"Yes, Supreme Leader," She heard the voice of Kylo Ren say, right before she felt his hand on her back again. A voice from the back of her mind told her to shrug him away, but a small part of her resisted. His touch, while nowhere near pleasant, was much gentler than it had been with her in the past.

Rey did not know what to think of that.

The two made their way back to her cell. Rey tried to keep her pace quick, so she would not fall in line with the knight. After everything that she had seen, she did not want to face him. She was too distraught at the thought of her friends being callously slaughtered by the First Order, in an attempt to rescue her. Her heart broke all over again.

"Your friends were not on that rescue mission," Ren said, breaking the silence on their seemingly long walk back to her cell. She felt herself pause at the new information. How did he know exactly what she had been thinking? It unnerved her.

"That doesn't exactly comfort me," Rey snapped, coming across more harshly than she had intended to. She tried to remain controlled around Kylo Ren, but he seemed to force her emotions out of her, "You still murdered innocent people,"

"You mean to tell me that you were not relieved? That when your shoulders relaxed mere centimeters just now, it was not because some stranger died instead of your companions?"

"You are despicable for even suggesting that," She spat, stopping dead in her tracks. He stopped as well, but not soon enough. They were only inches apart, too close for her comfort. She only noticed this as she turned on her heels though, to let him have it. She looked up at him, he was a good few inches taller than her. But his presence didn't frighten her anymore; he _angered_ her.

"If that is the case," The dark knight replied, his tone even when hers was not, "Then you are just as despicable as I am. You wear your emotions; it is easy to tell what you are thinking, little girl."

"Perhaps I am not afraid of my emotions. I do not need to hide behind a mask," She hissed through gritted teeth.

The knight raised his hand, and Rey closed her eyes and braced herself for the impact. But it never came. Hesitantly, she opened her eyes and saw the masked man looking at her, "That was your only warning. Do not provoke me, little girl."

He roughly grabbed her arm, and walked her back to her cell in silence. He shoved her inside without as much as another threatening word. Rey lost her footing, falling on to the cold floor of the cell. She grimaced, she did not know how long she could remain prisoner in this place.

* * *

 **Author's Note** : It was short, I know! I apologize for that. But please let me know what you think!


	10. Ephemeral and Permanent

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : I solely blame everything that happens in this chapter on me watching Titanic while writing the majority of it. The other half was written while binge-watching Making a Murderer and grading psychology tests, which probably can also shoulder some of the blame.

This week has been completely exhausting for me. I bought a car, I gave projects back and kids were panicking. And today is my birthday! Needless to say, this week has been interesting.

And yay! Reviews are back up. Thank you to Ladybear92, DashofAwesomeness, lefty2u, HiddenMirrors, bluejustice13, letostag, aearwen95, Mia Aisli, xcislyfe22, redmiserable, eterina, Sakurau121, Akoto3725, Aezera-V, crazy-af-fangirl, Jade Lammourgy, TheKatieBugg, CalistaLegaci, Infinities Lover, ZoopBooper, TamaeKurogane, Blackpen Enaru, Guest, Elen-Di, Atiama Amisl, ForeverDelighted, obsessiveAU, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusFan, Nikette, kidneyofcapaldi, sharpestsatire, kerstinscholtes, citra-talugmai, BW, desna99, PartinentTech, bluetigresss, SiilverPhantom, Boydje822, Misororu, Imboredwritenow LooernaLightlyn, Guest, AngelesPG, ForeverLillian, Smart cabbage, Guest, L'amourpapourmoi, MaidMarian17, T, xXxOtAkU-444xXx, Yueres De Leo, Hewalberg20. And everyone else!

Jade Lammourgy – I see what you are saying. However, Rey has also never truly been tested. She has spent most of her life living on Jakku, by herself. While she has been limited by her circumstances, she has never had someone tell her "no" before. This fic explores Rey as she comes to terms with having a relationship where someone (Luke in this case) is looking out for her. Being able to listen is something learned. And she definitely is feisty in the movie! Just ask Finn!

ForeverDelighted – I do not have an account on Archive of Our Own. However, I am debating creating one. And yay! I'm glad someone liked the chapter titles!

AngelesPG – I'm sorry, I really don't understand what you were trying to tell me. It looks as though some things may have gotten lost in translation? If you are saying Rey is a bit OOC, she is a bit stubborn, yes. But if you look at my response to a review above you'd see why. I hope that you see that explanation.

ForeverLilian – Don't feel bad for shipping Reylo! Every ship has its critics. Believe me, I have some pretty problematic ships that I keep to myself. This isn't even the worst of it!

L'amourpapourmoi – I know! I understand that Star Wars is a story about the Skywalker family. But the whole "I am your father" twist has already been done, and it would be great to explore some new characters! I would even be happy if Rey was a Force baby and not a Kenobi at all

SharpestSatire – I read on Wookieepedia that Rey is around 19 and Kylo Ren is around 29. However, I don't know if Kylo Ren's age is considered canon. And knowing how Hollywood casts older actors to play younger people, I'm going to assume his age is around early 20s. That being said, his calling Rey "little girl" is not a dig at her age, but being condescending. Ren believes he knows more than her, is more powerful. It puts him in a position of power.

BW – Thank you for the advice! I will keep it in mind. And, as for your other points, I don't want to give too much away. But I will say this. I used a Maz Kanata quote from the movie in my first chapter. I don't think she was referring to Luke when she said it. But, that's just me…

PertinentTech – Thank you! To be quite honest, I haven't really thought much about Captain Phasma and the role she will play in this particular fic (doesn't mean she won't though!). But Gwendoline Christie is one of my idols, so of course she is alive!

* * *

 **Chapter Ten:** Ephemeral and Permanent

Five lines had been added to the wall of her cell. Five more days spent as captive to the First Order. It had been over two weeks since she had been taking prisoner. But it felt like longer. Aside from her first run in with Snoke, she had not been tortured. She had not been questioned. She had not even be acknowledged in the five days since her last encounter with Kylo Ren and Snoke. If food had not been delivered to her daily, Rey would have thought that her captors forgot about her.

She hated to admit it, but she was torn about that. She was beginning to hate the solitude, the confinement. She had grown used to solitude on Jakku, but at least there she was free. Four walls currently enclosed her. And she was desperate to get out of there, or to have some form of companionship. She had even considered doing something to provoke the ire of Kylo Ren, if it meant having someone to talk to.

"You aren't that desperate yet," Rey told herself. And she wasn't. She found other ways to occupy her time.

The day after she watched as the rescue mission sent for her fail, she had begun to practice her skills. She realized that it would be too difficult for another rescue mission to attempt to breach the ship. General Organa was not going to risk it, especially for a defiant apprentice. If she was going to ever find her way out of captivity, she was going to have to figure out a way to get out herself. And to do that, she had to keep her skills sharp.

She did not have her lightsaber, it had been confiscated when she first was taken as a captive. But she could still practice her skills with the Force, and that was what she did. Rey began to meditate, which she found also helped to keep her calm and sane during her time in solitude. She also practiced strength exercises, using her confined space to keep her muscles and mind sharp. She was not going to let this captivity get the best of her, no matter how long she spent alone.

Her mental and physical exercises was enough to keep her from going insane. But it did not prevent her from constantly thinking about her captor.

He had the audacity, the gall, to say that the two of them were alike. She had been hearing him speak like this for quite a while now, whether in her hear or in person. But it bothered her now, more than ever. "Don't worry," She found herself mumbling on more than one occasion, "You are nothing like him."

 _I wouldn't be so sure of that,_ a voice in her head constantly gnawed at her whenever she tried to convince herself that the two of them were drastically different. She did not know if it was him weaseling his way in to her mind, or if she actually thought that herself. Her anger at him was growing with each passing day, and that was what worried her. Luke Skywalker had lectured her on the important of controlling her emotions – her anger – but there was something about Kylo Ren that made it impossible for her to do. She had hoped the meditation would help, but she still found herself thinking about the knight far too often for her liking.

She was distracted, thinking about the knight who still haunted her nightmares, that she did not notice the door to her cell open. She frowned as she looked up and saw who had entered in. _Speak of the devil, and he shall appear_.

The masked knight stood before her, his looming presence refusing to be ignored. Rey looked at him, expectantly. She refused to greet him with any words. But it seemed that he did not have the patience to wait for her to speak, "It would seem appropriate that we find you sleeping quarters that are much more _permanent_ , wouldn't you say?"

Rey shuddered at his use of the word permanent. It sounded so sinister coming from his mouth, "You seem very confident about that. You and I both know that I won't be here forever."

Even though he was wearing a mask, Rey could tell that the knight's face had curled in to a sinister smile, "We shall see about that."

He exited the cell, purposefully leaving the door open. He meant for her to follow him. She wanted to resist, she was desperate to defy him. But she was already curious, and anxious for a change of scenery. After a few moments, she got up from her bunk and followed. But before she exited, she made a point of grabbing the broken knife from where she had hidden it. She carefully tucked it in to her clothing, concealing it from view.

And then she followed him.

He led her to a set of apartment quarters, much grander than she had ever experienced before. The bed even had a mattress – a comfort that she had not had in a long time. But she kept her face stoic as he led her into her new chambers. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing her impressed with something he had done. He did not make a grand gesture of showing her around her new apartment along the ship, but left her at the door with the following command, "You will join me in a few hours for dinner."

As he left a pair of Stormtroopers took their place guarding her door. Immediately, all of the escape plans she had begun formulating in her mind vanished. She looked around the apartment, feeling despondent. She was still a prisoner, and her new room was just a bigger cage.

And now she had been invited to dinner with that monster.

"I think I prefer my old cell," She said aloud, although there was no one there to hear her.

* * *

Rey paced in her new rooms. They were a luxurious upgrade, there was no doubt there. But they came at a cost, and Rey was beginning to realize it was a cost that she did not want to pay. The worst was when she found the closet. Initially, she had wondered why she was even give one – she only had the clothes on her back. But when she opened it, she was horrified to discover it was filled with clothes. Leggings, tunics, and _dresses._ It made her feel sick to her stomach; Kylo Ren was truly planning on permanence.

She was truly tempted to tear everything up, to shred the dresses with her bare hands. But she looked down at herself; she had been wearing the same clothes for over two weeks. She had no doubt that she smelled horrible. "This apartment _does_ have a place to wash yourself. It couldn't hurt," She said aloud to herself.

She really did not take that much convincing.

Rey did not realize how truly gross and horrible she felt during her captivity until she was finally clean. She spent a lot of time washing, letting the water overtake her. She washed away the days of sweat, grime, anxiety and fear.

It felt good to be clean, and she finally had a sense of normalcy again.

When Rey was finally clean, she noticed that the steam had fogged up the mirror. Wiping away the steam, she took a good look at herself. It was the first time she had seen herself since her captivity. There was a faint yellow ring around her eye, a remnant from when General Hux had punched her. It had healed nicely. Her face was also thinner, her cheekbones more pronounced than she had ever seen them before. The stress from her captivity, and the lack of nutrition from the scant food she received caused her to lose weight.

As Rey dried herself off, she made her way to the closet provided for her by the First Order. She fingered the fine fabrics delicately before selecting a plain tunic, something similar to what she would have worn on Jakku. It was definitely what she was the most comfortable in, and she did not want to seem like she was dressing up for Kylo Ren.

She shuddered at the mere thought of it.

She was half tempted to skip dinner with the monster entirely, but her stomach grumbled in protest. It had not had a proper meal in over two weeks.

It looked as if she was going to have to endure him, if only for her survival.

Kylo Ren waited patiently for his guest to arrive at dinner. Food was set in front of him, but he made no motion to touch it. He would wait until his guest was able to join him. He sent a guard to escort his guest to the private dining hall. He waited five minutes, then ten, and then fifteen. And yet, she still had not arrived to dinner. It was no matter, he was a patient man. He would wait.

It seemed as though she was purposefully making him wait.

He ran his hands through his hair, feeling a mixture of both admiration and frustration for the girl. She resisted him at every turn, which was something that not many people would do. He had to admire it, the defiant fire that burned inside both of them. But he also did not want her to resist _him_ , he had spent so much effort attempting to woo her to his side, to join him.

She also held answers. Answers to questions that he did not know that he had. Questions that had been burning inside of him since their two minds had connected in her cell. He tried to look for his own answers, searching his own memories and feelings. But it was to no avail. He needed her for the answers, he knew that much was true. It was only a matter of getting her on his side, to get her to stop resisting.

It was another five minutes before she finally joined him.

"Welcome," He greeted her and stood as she entered the room. Kylo Ren did many things in his life, things that most would characterize as despicable. But his mother had taught him manners. There was at least _something_ from his parents that stuck. As Rey entered, she looked positively taken aback at him. Ren smiled, happy to have such a visible effect on her. It wasn't often that he could get a rise out of his new foe. He smirked as he taunted her with his next question, "Is there something bothering you?"

"You aren't wearing your mask," was her only reply. Her usually overly confident tone was replaced by something smaller, shyer.

"You are very observant," He noted sarcastically, pursing his lips together. "Does that bother you?"

 _Yes._

He already knew her answer to his question. But he also knew that she would never admit to it.

"No," She replied, almost too quickly as she sat down across the table from him. _There is that usual fire._ He smiled, she was very uneasy around him tonight. It made him positively gleeful, "I just wasn't expecting it. You usually hide behind it,"

He was torn between both frowning and smiling at her boldness. He would have attacked anyone else for much less than what she just said. He took his time meticulously cutting the food in front of him before he answered, "You presume to know a lot about me."

She took a small sip of the water that was placed in front of her before lifting her chin in defiance, "You aren't that hard to read."

"Or perhaps were are just too similar," He replied, raising an eyebrow in her direction. It was then he noticed her posture change, ever so slightly. She went stiff. "Did I strike a nerve there?"

"We are nothing alike," She gritted her teeth, and looked directly at him as she spoke those words. "I would never do what you have done. I would _never_ walk down that path."

"Oh, you wouldn't?" He smiled, "Tell me, what was it like when _you_ defied Luke Skywalker? Was it as easy for you to ignore him as it was for me?"

He watched as she stiffened considerably at his question, but the girl made no response. She must have known that he was trying to illicit an angry response from her; he noticed she took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself. _Don't fight it,_ he willed her silently, _give in to your anger._

He could sense she was using a good deal of her concentration on calming herself' she had been practicing, that much was obvious. And yet, she was so focused on staying her emotions that she had opened up herself in other ways _. Letting your guard down_ , Ren thought to himself, _not a smart move, girl_. Seizing the opportunity in front of him, Ren attempted to probe in to her mind, her memories. He had wanted nothing more since their original shared encounter; he wanted to see what exactly was going on in that pretty little head of hers.

Almost immediately, the girl picked up on what he was doing to her. She could feel him resisting as he tried to force his way into her head. Through gritted teeth, he heard her hiss, "Get out of my damn head,"

But he did not stop.

Not when he was so close to pushing her over the edge.

It hit him unexpectedly, after a few more intense moments of probing in to her mind. He knew she was strong, he could sense that from the moment she had boarded this ship. But that knowledge still did not prepare him as his chair was sent flying backward. Ren braced himself for the impact, hitting the ground with a resounding _thud._ Inwardly, he cursed at the pain. But he only smiled at the girl in front of him.

She was standing up now, breathing heavy as small beads of perspiration made the top of her head shine. Her eyes went wide, as if she had not realized the full extent of her power. Perhaps she had not been tested in a while. Her shocked turned quickly to alarm after realized what she had done. His lips curled upward in a devious smile, "Do not hold your anger in, Rey. Once you acknowledge it, _act on it,_ it is freeing. Don't you feel better now?"

She did not look at him. He could sense her struggling with his words, mulling them over in her head. She turned on her heel, leaving the table in the small dining room. The door that had enclosed the two of them opened, the two Stormtroopers that had been assigned to guard her dutifully waiting outside to greet her. Ren watched, the devious smirk still on his face, as his prisoner walked out on him.

It was true that the evening had not gone as planned, but this was not a bad development at all.

* * *

After Rey had been escorted back to her room, she began to pace. _You are so stupid,_ she chastised herself, _you should have never lost your cool with him._ She was no longer angry with Kylo Ren. But she was angry with herself for having lost control, for letting her anger get the better of her. Her heart rate was soaring, and adrenaline was coursing through her veins. She continued to pace, thankful for the increased amount of space. She knew that she was going to have to calm herself, to get that bastard out of her head yet again.

 _You cannot keep letting him in like that, Rey._ A voice from the back of her mind told her. The voice was not her own, but it was so familiar to her. Somehow, through the vast expanse that was separating them, Luke had called to her. The voice of her master calmed her somewhat, _You must remember to balance your emotions. Light and dark. Anger and calm._

 _Anger and calm,_ Rey repeated the mantra to herself as she paced around the room. _Anger and calm._

Eventually, she was able to steady her heart rate. She stopped pacing, and sat down on the floor of her new rooms.

She was still agitated, however. She had to clear her mind.

 _Balance your emotions._

Taking her place on the floor in the center of the room, she began to practice meditation techniques that Luke had taught her. She focused on herself first, feeling with Force as it moved inside her. It produced a more calming affect than her mantra did. She took another deep breath, focusing her energy outward. Luke's training echoed in her mind, _Feel it surround you._ And she did feel it, she felt her anger begin to dissipate.

 _Balance your emotions._

She was balanced. For the first time, her meditation skills had brought the warring sentiments inside her to absolute peace. She let herself get lost in the peace, staying those emotions for as long as they would keep.

Rey felt the Force surround her, until she was entirely lost in it…

 _When Rey opened her eyes, she was in a mostly bare room that she had never visited before. There were only a few chairs, and no decorations. Nothing homey or warm about the place. But she was at peace; the only time she had ever been this calm was when was on the abandoned island with Luke, at the first Jedi temple. It had been the Force that had stayed her worries there, and she could feel it doing the same for her at this strange place as well. She had to be a Jedi temple. Although, for the life of her she could not place where._

 _She wanted to look around, and explore her new surroundings. But her feet were rooted firmly in her spot. She was not moving; there was something that she was meant to see in this place._

 _It was not long before she saw what that something was._

 _The little girl from her first vision -_ Rey Kenobi, _she recalled instantly - came bursting into the room. She looked slightly older now, and stood a little taller. Rey went rigid, she looked like her. She shook her head; this could not be real. She refused to believe it._

 _Rey was shaken out of her thoughts when she saw that the young girl had been followed in to the bare room. A young boy, Ben Solo, trailed behind her. Upon closer inspection, the girl looked visibly upset. The young man, however, looked impressed, "You have to tell me how you did that. That's something that Master Luke hasn't even taught_ me _yet."_

" _I don't know!" The girl sounded exasperated as she collapsed onto the floor, burying her head in between her knees, "I already told you – it just happened."_

" _Rey," He knelt beside her, "Using the Force to lift objects, or to move them, is really advanced. Master hasn't even begun to train me in that yet – has he taught you?" Rey watched the interaction, unable to miss the subtle hint of jealous in the young Ben's voice._

" _No!" She protested again, "Sometimes it just happens! I didn't even know I could do it until a few weeks ago!"_

" _Can you teach me?"_

" _I can't even control it, Ben." She bit her bottom lip, "I can't do it all of the time. Just sometimes."_

 _Ben's eyebrows furrowed, "That's a lie! You just don't want to teach me. You like being special."_

 _The young Rey shook her head, "No, I just don't know how!"_

 _But he would not listen. Rey watched as he grew more and more agitated with the young girl, "You came here lost and friendless, and I helped you! And now you won't help me." He rose to his feet and made his way towards the door._

 _The young girl tried to call after him, "Please Ben! You're my only friend!"_

 _But the young boy refused to listen. He left the room, letting the heavy door slam behind him._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Another flashback! We are slowly putting the pieces together here people!

Let me know what you think!


	11. Attraction and Disgust

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Hello all! I apologize that this update is late – this week has been kind of horrible for me. Caught my boyfriend cheating, and he ended up breaking up with me (as opposed to the other way around). Pair that with some difficulties at work and I barely had time to write. And in all honesty, I had lost some of my inspiration. I didn't feel like writing any sort of romance-esque chapter because, well, it hurt. So I apologize if any of my own personal drama is reflected in this chapter.

Also, this chapter was extremely difficult for me to write. I think that I wrote it three different times. So I hope that means that you guys all enjoy it.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter, especially LindseyWasHere, ayrecroft18, SheLitAFire, MobyDuck, AngelesPG, Guest, Toothless02, Alliel 23, Guest, 2die4u, Hologernes, Imborewritenow, sharpestsatire, willowtuft, Guest, ZoopBooper, zazanga, elfigreen14, ForeverDelighted, TheKatiesBug, lotus-bugxm9, JadeLammourgy, projektrevolution20, Mia Aisli, Desna99. InfinitiesLover Akoto3725, ChasingFoxes5, cislyfe22, Nitany, MaidMarian17, bluejustice13, xXxOtaku-444xXx, Sunnyontheheights, LooernaLightlyn, Blackpen Enaru, LuzzyBennet16, bluetigresss, Whisper184, delena5eva, Nikkette, ladybear92, PertinentTech, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusfan, DashofAwesomeness, ForeverLillian, The-Splatoon-Rook 64, MmeSylveon, kidneyofcapaldi, Siilver Phantom.

ForeverLillian – I know what you mean. I understand that this ship has its problems. I have seen a lot of people compare it to shipping Jessica Jones / Kilgrave. WHICH IT IS NOT. Also yes, I was channeling Beauty and the Beast in that particular scene.

ForeverDeligted – I cannot imagine Kylo dress shopping. Some poor Stormtrooper had to do it for him, or perhaps General Hux? Either way I am laughing at the thought. And yes, Beauty and the Beast was what I was going for! And as for the flashback…. Hmmm…. We shall have to see! ;)

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven:** Attraction and Disgust

The only sound that could be heard throughout the corridors of the starship was the fast-paced heel clicking of Kylo Ren's boots. After the altercation at dinner, the Knight's immediate duty was to relay the circumstances to his master. He was impressed that he was able to get her to unleash her anger, however briefly. He could recall the fire in her eyes, and her use of unrestrained power. For the briefest of moments, he had felt something other than contempt for the young girl. But he would not dare admit what it was. Instead, he focused on the task at hand. Rey had given in to her anger for a few short moments– an important development in her inevitable journey to the Dark Side. But she did not give in to it completely, she was able to resist it after a time. She had stayed the desire to attack him, and brought herself back from the edge. The dinner was still a failure – he needed his master's guidance on what to do next.

He made his way to the receiving room of his master, Supreme Leader Snoke. Since the revelation of their shared past and the possible last name of the girl, Snoke had grown increasingly interested in her and having him join his order. By tempting her to the Dark Side, he had hoped that the full knowledge of their shared past, and the true extent of her power, would be revealed. And, of course, harnessing that power was the ultimate goal.

Upon his entrance into the receiving room, Kylo Ren immediately genuflected at his master's feet, a sign of humility in the face of his own failure. He then began to relay the events of the evening, apologizing profusely for lack of results. "She almost gave in to anger this evening, Master. But she was able to pull back, and control her emotions. She is more controlled than I anticipated, I must admit."

"We knew she was strong," His master's voice boomed in the empty room. It lacked that anger that the Knight had originally anticipated, "It will take time, and more than just instilling anger and fear into her heart."

"Teach me what I must do, Master." Kylo Ren kept his head bent down, "Show me the way to turn her to the Dark."

"Kylo Ren," The hologram leaned forward, so that he was peering over his young apprentice, "It has been shown that you and her hold a shared past, one that she wants answers to. You are the only one who can help her discover her true self."

"She has shown no interest in learning of that past," Kylo Ren responded, keeping his head down both out of respect and shame. The Knight was curious about the shared memories as well – he wanted to know why part of his past had been kept from him. But as much as he tried to search his heart, he was not able to do so. His own power was not as great; as much as he hated to admit it, he needed the girl to find those answers. "She has not come to me for answers, like we had anticipated that she would."

"Then perhaps," His master looked down at him, his lips curling into a devious smirk, "You should go to her."

"Go to her?" He repeated, the words sounding strange upon his lips. "But she despises me, Master. And I, her. Even if I were to go to her, she would not open herself up to me." Kylo Ren braced himself for the backlash that would inevitably come from questioning his superior.

"Patience," His master's voice remained calm, even when being questioned by his lowly apprentice. "When you sense that the time is right, go to her. Make her realize that she _needs_ you,"

Although he could only see the futility of the plan before him, Kylo Ren bowed his head in assent. He was not in a position to question his master. Without another word, he knew that he had been dismissed by the Supreme Leader. He bowed his head once again, and brought his fist to his chest as a sign of respect. He turned to leave the room.

His mind was racing with the new orders from his master as he made his way back to his own quarters.

He needed to clear his head, to clear _her_ out of his head.

* * *

 _Please come home._

Kylo Ren felt her calling out to him again. Over the years, he felt her reaching out across the galaxy, telling him that he was always welcome back home. His mother was sensitive to the ways of the Force. Of course, he had always known that. It was a family trait, after all. She had learned to utilize her inherited skills from her twin brother, but she was not as skilled as Luke or her own son. She had never had the same desire to become as skilled as her own father. And because of his advanced training, Ren had always been able to push her call away.

Although her attempts decreased in frequency over the years, he occasionally still felt her reaching out. Ren scoffed every time she attempted to; he would not be governed by the wishes of a simple woman. Family and belonging were not things he desired. He would not let his mother distract him from his true calling. He would finish what his grandfather started, despite the feeble attempts of his mother to bring him back to the light. But he would sometimes just let her speak to him, without immediately pushing her away, in order to hear her voice. She would always call him back, pleading with him to come home. Sometimes, she would just reach out and speak to him about the most mundane of topics. Sometimes, she would relay stories of his childhood across the galaxy. He would never heed her call or consider going to the light. But he would sit there and listen to her voice.

It came as a shock to him that he heard her voice that very evening, after the events of that particular day. She asked him to come home, as she always did. She asked him not to harm the girl in his possession. She told him that it was not too late to make everything right; Ren scoffed at that. _What absolute nonsense._ But the Knight did not force the woman out of his head.

He was listening to his mother when he felt it. When he felt _her,_ his prisoner. There was a slight shift in the Force, and he instantly sensed that Rey was at the epicenter of whatever it was. Immediately, Kylo Ren ignored the words of his mother, and focused his attention on a woman much closer to home. He sprang up from his seated position in his quarters. The doors opened automatically, letting him pass through with ease. He walked at a clipped pace, the heels of his boots hitting the floor were once again the only sound in the empty corridors.

When he arrived at her new quarters, he waved his hand, dismissing the Stormtroopers tasked with guarding those rooms. The insipid soldiers moved out of the way, so that he could enter unhindered.

The first thing that he noticed was the amount of power in the room. She was channeling the Force, in a state of deep meditation that he had only seen his former mentor engage in. He could feel the anger bubble up inside of him, anger that she had achieved something with so little training that even he could not do. He was compelled to stop all of it, to show her what true power looked like. But he also wanted to see how far she could go.

He watched as her chest moved up and down with each controlled breath. She was oblivious to his entrance in her meditative state, and her face was perfectly relaxed. Ren took this unguarded moment to study her face: she looked at peace, so unlike how she looked when they normally interacted. Every time he was in her presence, she was tense and guarded. But in her calm state, Ren was able to truly get a good look at her. Her soft skin seemed to glow in the low light of her quarters. Her face, absence of any creases from increased frowning at him, was genuinely pleasant. Ren almost would have considered her attractive, if the circumstances surrounding the two of them had been different.

He raised his gloved hand, hovering slightly over her flushed cheek. He was tempted stroke it, to gently caress it in a way in which he had before. His hand moved closer and closer to that cheek. But after a few long seconds, the realization of what he was doing dawned on him. He dropped his hand immediately, ashamed of his own weakness.

He pushed all thoughts of the young woman's beauty out of his mind, exerting the proper control that he had been taught. He bent down so that the two of them were at eye level as he watched her intensely. He noticed subtle shifts in her eyes behind her closed lids, a telling sign that she was having a Force vision.

He attempted to push in to her mind, to see what she was seeing. But he was unable to break through. Unintentionally or not, there was something blocking his access to her mind. Whatever the cause, he was unable to see what she was seeing.

It angered him.

But it also _intrigued_ him. He wanted to know more than anything what she was seeing. What was the Force choosing to show her? Why was she worthy of the revelation when he was not?

Kylo Ren wanted to know what she was seeing, especially if it was anything like the connected vision that they had once before. He wanted answers to that confusing memory just as much as she did, wanted to know if his own childhood memory had been tampered with. This girl was the key to those answers. But he had so far been unsuccessful at reading her mind. His tried and true tricks would not work on her. The only way that he could get the information was to gain her trust.

 _Perhaps, you should go to her._

His master's words echoed in his head. He would have to be patient, kind, and _friendly_ with the girl.

And so he waited patiently for her to come out of this vision.

After a few more minutes, she began to stir. It started off subtle at first, as if she were slowly waking. But then, as whatever she had seen behind her closed lids became more intense, her breathing began to pick up. Her chest rose and fell more rapidly. Whatever she had seen disturbed her greatly. Ren frowned at the disruption of her relaxed state, wishing that he could see her at peace once more.

Her eyes opened suddenly. He was still kneeling directly in front of her; their faces were mere inches apart. He could feel her ragged breathing on him. For the briefest of moments, she looked at him without the usual disdain that normally clouded their every interaction. Instead, there was a hint of recognition and she hazily looked at him before turning her lips up in a slight smile, "Ben?"

After everything that Kylo Ren had been through and seen over the course of his life, there was not much that shocked him anymore. But hearing his prisoner call him by his given name was something that he could never have expected. He blinked, unsure of how he was supposed to react to the words that had just come out of her mouth. But he repeated the mantra that he had told himself all of these years, and told his father at their final meeting, "Ben Solo is dead."

His words seemed to break her out of the post-vision trance that she was in. She blinked a few more times before the haze that surrounded her fully cleared. Immediately, she scrambled backward, pulling away from him. Any comfort that she had in those first few moments after her meditation disappeared, and was replaced by pure contempt and _fear._ Ren's brows furrowed even deeper with confusion. It was as if she had forgotten that she has used his given name only a few short moments before, or could not make the connection between the name she used and the man in front of her now. For the briefest of moments, Kylo Ren was disappointed that her smile was gone.

Kylo Ren stayed where he was, and did not move as she inched further and further away from him. She did not take her eyes off of him, as if the Knight was a snake about to strike at any given moment. But he remained still in his position in an attempt to bring her back to the ease she felt moments ago. He would not be able to use intimidation to get what he wanted out of his opponent. He brought his eyes up to her, holding eye contact. He intentionally kept his voice soft as he asked her, "What did you see?"

Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and she looked him with mounting confusion. He had no doubt that his behavior was confusing her; it was something he was not used to as well. But, in the same soft tone, he asked her again, "Did you have another vision?"

She looked up at him without any words but the surprise in her eyes was enough of an affirmative answer for him. He kept his voice level as she pleaded with her, "Tell me what you saw,"

"You," She breathed out after a few agonizingly long moments, "I saw you."

"Where did you see me?" He remained at her level but bridged the gap between them ever so slightly. He could see the color rising in her cheeks. She looked at him skeptically, biting her bottom lip. Ren wanted to look away, distract himself from the image of her lips, but he had to maintain the eye contact.

She was hesitant to tell him anything. Kylo Ren felt his patience growing thin; he had no time for her uncertainty. "If you want to make sense of what you saw, you must tell me. I am the only one who can help you. Search your heart, you know that is true,"

She looked at him for a few long moments; he did not have to get into her head to know that she was debating if she should trust him or not. But she finally spoke, "At a Jedi temple, but I had never been there before."

"What did it look like?" He pressed, moving towards her again. He did not break the eye contact, attempting to put her at ease.

"You and I were in a room at this temple. It was hardly furnished," Rey looked away from him, uncomfortable with the prolonged eye contact. Ren tried to act as if he did not notice, "You were angry with me, for being able to levitate objects and not telling you how to do it."

"And then what happened?"

"You left," She blinked a few times, "And I asked you to come back. I said that you were my only friend."

She paused for a moment, letting her words sink in, before looking up at him and asking, "Why would I say that?"

Kylo Ren looked at Rey square in the eye. She was pleading with him for answers: answers that he was not certain that he could give. He wanted to help her, but he had no recollection of this event in her mind. He sighed as he looked at the young woman mere inches from him. He was very selective in who he was honest with, but he knew he could not lie to her at the moment, "I do not know, Rey. I do not know."

* * *

Finn looked glumly at the food in front of him. It had been two weeks since Rey had gone missing. The rescue party that had been sent out to retrieve the captured Padawan was a failure, and a majority of the pilots who set out had never come back. The First Order had completely decimated their ships without so much as a second though; he could only imagine what horrors Rey was enduring in her captivity. He had witnessed interrogations before; he shuddered to think one of his best friends was being subject to the inhumane tactics used by the bastard Kylo Ren.

"She will be okay," Poe Dameron looked on at Finn as he sat down next to him in the mess hall, patting him on the shoulder, "She is a strong girl. She's fought him and escaped before, she will do it again."

"But what if she can't?" Finn questioned, putting his fork down. His appetite had decreased as of late, "What if she is being hurt and we are just sitting here doing nothing about it?"

"We are doing all that we can. We sent a rescue mission," Poe frowned. He had been the one to authorize the first rescue mission for Rey, and felt the weight of the failure the most of all. Some of his good friends had been lost on that mission, and he blamed himself for it every day, "It didn't work. But that doesn't mean we won't try again. We just have to wait a bit, make sure that the timing is right so that we don't lose any more people."

"Every second that we spend waiting," Finn sighed, "is a second that she spend with _him._ I can't let her spend any more time with him – who knows what he will do to her?"

"The Resistance is taking care of it, Finn." Poe said, his voice level. Finn could tell that his friend was getting exasperated; it was not a subject that Poe Dameron liked to discuss.

"The Resistance isn't doing enough!" His banged his fist on the table, drawing more attention to their conversation than he originally wanted to. People in the mess hall looked over, whispering at the former Stormtrooper's outburst. Finn could feel his cheeks grow hot at the unwanted attention. Without another word, he got up from the table.

He pretended not to notice all of the eyes that followed him as he left the mess hall.

 _Let them stare,_ he thought to himself. _Let them think that I am crazy. But I'm going to be the one who brings Rey back._

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Please let me know what you think!


	12. Cruelty and Compassion

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : I just want to note that the end of this chapter deals with an assault. If you are at all triggered by this, I suggest skipping after the break between Leia and Luke's interaction.

Wow! I just want to thank you all for the lovely reviews! And I want to thank everyone for their kind words about the break up. I realize I am much better off, and can stop putting the things I love (like writing, and the gym) on the backburner. I thank you all for the concern, but I have begun the healing process. Your kind words have meant the world to me!

As for everyone who is questioning Finn's role in the next couple of chapters. Currently, Finn is devising his plan – we will not see what comes of it for a few more chapters. Just a heads up, I want you to know I haven't forgotten about that.

Thank you to Lillyhil, Akoto3725, MaidMarian17, SunnyontheHeight, desna99, DashofAwesomeness, sharpestsatire, ForeverDelighted, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusFan, Kaitlyn. , AtiamaAmisl, Jade Lammourgy, Anne Estheim, Silver Phantom, Holofernes, projektrevolution20, Infinities Lover, chemicalflashes, ladybear92, xXx-Otaku-444xXx, theForcePrincess, kidneyofcapaldi, 1993, theKatieBugg, Imboredwritenow, ForeverLillian, Willowtuft, Guest, xcislyfe22, Blackpen Enaru, Eterina, vcarp1993, Lady Shadowrider, Mia Aisli, bluejustice13, Perry Downing, redmiserable, looernallightlyn, boydje822 and Smart cabbage!

DashofAwesomeness – As much as I love Captain Phasma, she will have no part in getting Kylo Ren and Rey together. She is altogether badass, but I want to keep her evil. I actually like her that way!

Sharpestsatire – Not so much that's its gone to his head, but he is just not good at following orders. Remember in the movie when he lies about how much he knows just to get to Starkiller Base and rescue Rey?

ForeverDelighted – I am glad you like the Leia and Kylo interaction! I know he hates his father, but I feel like he may have a soft spot for his mother.

Kaitlyn. – I don't see Snoke as match making. More of, he is okay with doing what is necessary in order to get to his final goal. Which, in this case, is bring Rey to the dark side. He's willing to do whatever he has to (which includes manipulate Kylo Ren) to achieve that.

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve:** Cruelty and Compassion

Rey was pacing on the cool metal floor of her cell again; she was more than confused about her most recent interaction between herself and Kylo Ren. The two of them spoke like normal humans would, without any hint of animosity between them or use of the Force that escalated into a greater fight. For once, he did not try to use his considerable power to manipulate her. She let out a frustrated sigh: everything about that night was disconcerting, just like whenever he took his mask off in her presence. Rey did not like knowing that there was a human being under that cold metal shell; he was much easier to hate when he looked and acted like the monster she always imagined he was.

He left shortly after their conversation about her most recent vision, for which she was immensely relieved. He was not one for small talk, and she did not feel at ease in his company. She was grateful for the blessed brevity of it all. But the interaction between them just before he left her quarters shook her most of all.

" _I will leave you to your thoughts," He stood up from his seated position, turning his face away from her. Rey was shocked at his demeanor during this visit; it was so unlike him before. She knew better than to trust it all implicitly; there had to be some hidden agenda behind his pleasantness. But the dark knight was right, she did need him if she wanted answers to all of the questions regarding her murky past._

 _She did not reply to him; she did not know what she would have said. Throughout the evening, she only spoke when asked a direct question. Part of her wanted him out of her sight as fast as humanly possible. And another part of her was grateful for the company, to have some companion to talk to. She stared at him blankly as she played with the loose tendrils of her dark hair, a nervous habit she developed as a small child. Upon realizing there would be no answer, he turned to leave. She watched as he slowly walked to the door, but it did not open immediately as expected. Quietly, she watched as Kylo Ren turned back around to face her one final time, "Tell me. After what you just saw, what you just experienced tonight - are you alright?"_

 _Rey blinked rapidly, taken aback by his sudden question. The majority of the evening was spent between them talking about the sequences of events in their shared memories, trying to put together the pieces like a puzzle. He never once asked her how she_ felt _about the memories. She had not expected him to. What had brought about that question?_

 _She shifted quietly as she considered his question. The truth was that she was not alright – how could she be? She was being held prisoner by the First Order. She was facing confusing memories that could not have possibly come from her own childhood. She had just spent the evening talking to her most hated rival, and it was not as unpleasant as she thought it would be. And now, that rival was showing concern over her own well-being. She was not alright – she was_ confused. _Rey bit her bottom lip as she considered whether or not to tell him the truth._

 _She sighed, there was no use in lying to him. She had always been rotten at it, and with his power he would know immediately._

 _Swallowing, she looked him square in the eye, "I am as alright as I can be,"_

Rey lay awake for the rest of the evening, evading all rest. Her mind raced while replaying that final interaction with Kylo Ren over again in her head, like a hologram on repeat. She sighed, bringing her hands to her eyes in frustration. If she was truly here for a long time, with no hope of escape, then she would have to get used to the presence of Kylo Ren.

She furrowed her brows as she stared up at the ceiling. She thought back on the two visions she had, both centered on the young Ben Solo. The little boy whose parents had fought so hard to bring back to the light, despite all of the horrible things he had done. The little boy whose mother still longed to hold again. Perhaps that little boy was not as far gone as everyone had suspected. Perhaps Rey had seen a glimpse of him just that evening.

 _Ben Solo is dead._ Kylo Ren's harsh statement from earlier that evening echoed in her mind.

But Rey did not know if she truly believed that anymore.

Perhaps Ben Solo was buried, behind the mask, behind the cold exterior that the master of the Knights of Ren projected to everyone else.

 _He murdered his father,_ a small voice in the back of her mind reminded her. _He murdered Han Solo. He sat by and watching as innocent pilots were murdered on their rescue mission. He is attempting to turn you to the Dark Side._ Her face creased; she had not forgotten the past or present misdeeds of the dark knight. She could never forget the feeling of despair as she watched him plunge the red blade of his lightsaber into his own father's stomach. The feeling of hopelessness that the only father figure she had ever truly known fell off of the rafter and into the unknown.

Rey did not know if she could ever forgive him for that.

 _But Han wanted him back more than anything,_ she told herself. _If he believed that Kylo Ren could be redeemed, then who are you to question it?_

Rey sighed in frustration at her own conflicting thoughts. She closed her eyes, begging sleep to come and relieve her of her own confusion.

* * *

"You have done very well, Lord Ren." His master's cold voice was filled with approval. "Perhaps we had been wrong about the girl. It would seem that the promise of the Dark Side's power and glory is not enticing for our little scavenger. She is more easily swayed by the promise of _companionship_."

 _Companionship._ Internally, Kylo Ren shuddered at the word. He had spent a majority of his free time in solitude; he hardly ever felt the desire for companionship. In fact, he had spent most of his time evading others who wished to have him close. But he had to admit that spending time with Rey the previous evening had not been the laborious task that he expected it to be. In fact, it was rather quite _pleasant_. But it had awakened something in him – _desires_ \- that he had been able to quell for the majority of his young life. Even now, the memory of the way her chest rose and fell as she meditated last night caused himself to stiffen. For his own sake, it would be best to stay as far away as possible from the woman.

"Do not fear your own desires," His master could sense the conflicting emotions building up inside of his apprentice. He could not lie to his mentor. Kylo Ren bowed his head in shame, hard pressed to admit that desire for the woman had awakened in him. "Once she is brought over to the Dark Side, she would make a fine companion for you. But do not let her cloud your judgement; do not let her tempt you to the light."

"Of course not, Master," Kylo Ren replied, "I am not one so easily tempted by the desires of a woman. She is attractive, but she holds no influence over me or my actions." He refused to let her. He would not let himself grow distracted by this woman, no matter how big his own desires grew. He would not let him tempt her – that was _his_ task.

"Continue to seduce her to the Dark Side with the promise of your companionship," His master instructed coldly. "Do whatever you must to ensure that she joins us."

He nodded his head, acknowledging the instructions that had come from his master. As he exited the room, however, he thought about what was being asked of him. His attempts at gaining her trust the previous night had been fragile at best; he was not one who was particularly skilled in the art of conversation. She regard him with disdainful caution at all times. But he was enticed by the prospect of spending more time with the young woman. Even now, he could feel excitment rising up in his lower abdomen.

"Excuse me, Lord Ren," His thoughts were interrupted by the voice of Captain Phasma, who had fallen into step beside him. "We have just received intelligence of a small Resistance outpost on Tantusmir."

"Is there any indication that Skywalker there?" He replied, his voice calm and mechanical through his mask. Despite all of the distractions of his prisoner, he refused to let go of the mission at hand. The capture and execution of Luke Skywalker remained a priority.

"Negative, sir." Phasma shook her helmet.

"Destroy it," He replied with a wave of his gloved hand. He was suddenly uninterested in the findings, "You have full authority to kill all members of the Resistance on the base. Leave none alive."

"Yes, sir." The Captain nodded, relaying her orders to her own underlings. From his spot on the bridge, Ren watched on as the fleet was dispatched for the ambush attack. Normally, he would have found pleasure in watching the destruction of the rebel base. But once the mission was determined to be a success, he grew weary of watching the destruction.

His thoughts were elsewhere.

* * *

Luke Skywalker looked out from the window of his new sleeping chamber onto the calm lake on D'Qar. His sister had requested that he move his quarters close to her; she had not taken the loss of Han Solo well, and wanted her brother close to her side. Truth be told, Luke had not been one for conversation over the course of the years. Since the Ben Solo's treason, he had reserved himself to a life of quiet contemplation to prevent any future failures. With the disappearance of his most recent Padawan, he was even less inclined to speak to others. But he could not turn down his own sister, especially in her time of need.

General Leia Organa forcefully walked into his chambers now; he sensed her looming presence from the moment she made the decision to come speak to him. Before he could even say a word, she spoke, "I have just gotten word that the First Order has destroyed our outpost on Tantusmir. Reconnaissance flights have reported that the ship Rey is believed to be on was directing the attack on the planet."

"The boy wants to go after her," Luke replied, sensing what his sister was about to say next. In his mind, he could easily picture the persistent former Stormtrooper pleading his case, "He has come to see me about it; he wants to act."

His sister sighed, "Finn has spoken to me too. But we still need to recuperate after the last ambush. I've tried to explain that to him, but I am afraid he will do something rash. Following orders does not appear to be Finn's strongest suit."

"It is not the time for her to leave," Luke replied, turning to face the lake once more, "She will be rescued, but it is not her time."

"What do you mean?" Leia frowned as she put a gentle hand on her brother's shoulder, "I agree that we aren't ready, but we also need to rescue Rey as soon as possible. She is the Resistance's only hope."

"Your connection to your son is still there, Leia," Luke turned, making eye contact with his sister. He could feel her recoil at the mention of her son, but Lue continued to press, "I know you have reached out to him – I have felt it. Reach out to him now, look at the aura surrounding him."

The Jedi waited as his twin reached out to her son across the ether. Her eyes were closed, but she did not mask the emotions on her face. He watched as her face morphed from an expression of pain and sadness to one of surprise, and finally hope. Her eyes opened, and Leia looked up at her brother, "There is something there. Something that I missed before."

"Ben has always held on to a little bit of the light, whether it was intentional on his part or not." Luke explained, "His aura has always had a portion of light attached to it. I have seen it before, when trying to reach him. But as of late, that light has only grown bigger."

Leia looked up at her brother, the hope evident in her eyes, "Do you think that Rey has something to do with it?"

The Jedi nodded, "I can feel her there too, much stronger. Ben tries to block me, but Rey does no such thing. And I can sense her presence mixed with Ben's. She is making that light in him grow stronger. If given enough time, perhaps it can overcome his darkness."

"Are you worried?" Her brows furrowed, concern finally etching itself on her hardened face, "That Rey will go dark?"

Luke closed his eyes and sighed, resigned, "Ever since they were children, Rey has always been Ben's shadow. He was her first, and only, friend. At one point in her life, I was worried she would go to the Dark Side. Not immediately, but would eventually follow in his footsteps."

"Are you worried now?" Leia asked again, "That she will be tempted?"

The Jedi paused for a moment. He ran his fingers through the grey beard on his face as he contemplated the question, "I cannot say. Rey has always been stubborn and passionate. Those qualities could easily pull her from us."

Out of the corner of his eye, Luke could see his sister's shoulder sink back in defeat. Slowly, she was beginning to lose hope in their precarious cause. Leia had lost more than most in this war between light and dark: her home planet, her adopted family, her lover, her son. He could not let his dear sister remain hopeless any longer, "But just as easily, she could bring Ben back to us."

For the first time since their tenuous reunion, Luke Skywalker saw a genuine smile escape from his twin sister's lips.

* * *

Rey practiced her Force skills daily during her captivity; if there was any chance that she was going to escape, she would have to be prepared. She already tried to use the mind tricks on the Stormtroopers who guarded her constantly, but they had only laughed at her. Apparently, whoever the First Order had selected as her guardsmen were trained to resist her powers. Kylo Ren must have learned from the last time she encroached upon his _hospitality._

If mind tricks were not going to work, she would have to rely on her mediocre fighting skills. She did not have a lightsaber to practice with, but she was still able to use other means of self-defense. At the moment, she was practicing her levitation skills. She was still unable to lift heavy objects, but she was able to bring small and medium sized objects to her, or send them flying across the room.

She had just sent an old book flying across the confined room when she heard the seals to the door open. Her new guest managed to dodge the projectile that was aimed straight for his head. But when she saw who had intruded upon her privacy, she wished that it in fact _had_ hit him. The redheaded General Hux stood at her doorway, flanked by a pair of Stormtroopers. But he lazily waved his hand, signaling that they were to remain just outside of her quarters. With the push of a few buttons, the doors ominously closed behind him.

She was alone with General Hux.

"Hello, little mouse," A devious smirk crawled across the face of the general as he used the demeaning nickname he had used upon their first meeting. He took a step towards her, the sound of his boots and Rey's heavy breathing the only sound for the longest of moments. The sight of him sent shivers up her spine. Her hand involuntarily flew to her eye, which had completely healed since their last meeting. She had not forgotten the present he had left her with. "Is this where Lord Ren has been keeping you hidden?"

She did not respond to him; she was not about to give him that kind of satisfaction. But she did not take her eyes off of him as he moved closer, and began to circle her like a vulture would circle its' prey.

"I can see why he would want to keep you hidden," The general laughed, "If I had claimed you as my pet, I would not want to let anyone else know you were here either. I would not want to _share_."

"No one has _claimed_ me," She crossed her arms, her elbows pointing out just enough to warn him not to get too close. The general, however, did not seem to get the hint. He was less than an inch from her now; she could feel his heat radiating off him. Rey shuddered, uncomfortable at the proximity. He, however, seemed to enjoy her negative reaction.

"Is that so?" The redhead pursed clicked his tongue before smirking, "Well, that is interesting then, isn't it? It would seem, then, that anyone could _take_ you."

Through gritted teeth, Rey hissed, "If you lay one had on me, you are going to regret it."

The general wholeheartedly accepted the challenge. He smiled as he laid his hand forcefully on Rey's shoulder. Instantaneously, Rey began to fight back. She channeled all her strength to her core as she pushed him violently away from her. He was initially caught off guard by the ferocity of her attack, and stumbled backward. But he immediately made up for it upon gaining his composure; he was larger than her, stronger. Physically, he overpowered her. He made up for his initial surprise by violently bringing his fist to her stomach. Rey doubled over, having the wind knocked out of her. That was when the general pinned her legs to the ground, so she could not move.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, so loud that she was sure that Hux could hear it. He could hear her fear. Grinding her teeth, she vowed not to let the bastard best her. Rey closed her eyes and focused all of her energy on the skill she had been practicing only moments ago. She concentrated on trying to send Hux flying across the room. But she had never levitated something so large before. She could feel a slightly tug from the Force, but she was not strong enough. All of her attempts were futile.

"You will let go of me," She calmly told him, attempting to control Hux with her own mind. "You will walk out of here, and never come back again."

Her words only prompted laughter from her enemy, "Do you really think that my mind is weak enough for that to work on me, little mouse?"

Inwardly, she cursed. Rey closed her eyes, trying every trick that she knew to remove Hux off of her. But she was just too weak; too inexperienced in her training. Nothing worked. _Please._ She called out through the Force, _Please help me._

She was still fighting, using her fists to pound at the General Hux's chest. But he was just laughing at her discomfort. He began to restrain her hands violently as he chuckled, "Look now at the powerful Padawan that everyone was so frightened of: _completely helpless_."

Rey struggled against him. She twisted and writhed, attempting to use her size to out maneuver him. But her agility was no match for his brute strength. Any attempts at escape only served to make the general more determined in his assault. She cried out, a combination of the pain of his weight on top of her and the frustration of not being able to fight back.

 _Please help._

As if by some miracle, she felt the weight of the general lift off of her. She watched wide eyed as his body went flying across the room. _Perhaps I had the power in me after all._ But the power could not have come from her, she was not that strong. She whipped her head around to see where the source of the power originated. Kylo Ren, maskless, stood at her door way, his hand prostrate in front of him. His eyes looked murderous, but the contempt was not directed at her. Rey watched as he clenched his hand slightly. From the other side of the room, General Hux let out a choking sound as he was raised effortlessly into the air. "I thought the instructions were made perfectly clear, General, that we are not to hurt our guest."

The only reply that came from the general was the sound of him trying to open up his blocked airways.

After a few prolonged moments of torture, the general fell from his levitate position. Kylo Ren had released him, and he was now gasping for air on the floor. Rey watched on as a team of Stormtroopers came through the doorway, and picked the ashamed general up by the arms. "Please escort our esteemed general to the infirmary."

Without another word, he attacker was carried, feet dragging, out of the room. Silently, the doors closed behind that escort, leaving Rey alone with her rescuer.

He made his way over to her so quickly that Rey feared he would strike her. She recoiled, bracing herself for the hit. But he paused upon noticing her body language, before taking careful strides so that he was finally next to her. He bent down so that he was at her level, his eyes searching all over for any sign of injury, "Are you hurt?"

Rey took a moment to compose herself before shaking her head. She was not injured, although she shuddered to think about what would have happened if Kylo Ren had not come when he did. Through her trauma, she found herself growing curious as to _why_ exactly he had arrived. Through her short breaths, she found herself asking, "How did you know to come?"

He looked at her curiously for a moment, as if she had gone mad, "You called out to me. You told me to come."

Rey frowned, trying to recall when exactly she had done that. She recalled pleading for help, but had she really called out to Ren? She shuddered at the thought, but was grateful that he had heard her nonetheless. She looked down at her hands, unable to meet the intensity of his eyes. She could not believe she was about to say this to him, "Thank you. For coming when you did."

Ren grabbed her hands, checking the faint marks that Hux left on her skin. She knew they were superficial, and would not carry any lasting damage. But the knight looked at her injuries with disgust, "Why didn't you fight back?"

She took a long look at him, wondering why it mattered to him. Wasn't he supposed to despise her? As she searched his expression for her answers, she found herself distracted by his features. His eyes, which had been filled with rage, were now soft and full of concern. His hair fell loosely in front of them. She often found it was easy to forget he was human when he did not wear his helmet. It was disquieting, and made her forget that he was supposed to be the enemy.

"I tried," Rey replied, chewing her bottom lip as she shifted uncomfortably, "Despite what you seem to think of me, I am not all-powerful. I could not throw him off of me."

She felt him take her cold hands and begin to rub them gently. At first, she recoiled ever so slightly. But Rey could feel the warmth radiating off of him, and she did not completely pull away. After hesitating for a moment, she welcomed the gentle touch. As he warmed her hands, he looked her square in the eye, "You are saying that you need to continue your training,"

"No," Rey pulled her hands away from him. Even without her advanced training as a Padawan, she could tell where this conversation was leading. His first offer to her rang in her head: _you need a teacher._ She shuddered at the thought of it, "You are not training me."

"There are people on this ship, like Hux, who will not hesitate to kill you." Ren explained to her as he ran his fingers through his black curls. He was visibly growing agitated with her refusal of his help. "I cannot be here all the time to protect you. You must learn how to use your powers. _Let me teach you._ "

Rey bit her bottom lip; she did need a teacher. She did not want to be helpless like that ever again. She needed to hone her skills, but she was not progressing fast enough on her own as that afternoon had proven. _But he is dark._

Kylo Ren must have sense her hesitation. He stood up, holding out his hand to help her up, "I will only help you learn the basics – I swear to you that I will not teach you anything dark _unless you ask me to_. You have to trust me,"

Rey did not trust the man in front of her farther than she could throw him.

But she took his hand anyway.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Well, here we are! Chapter 12! Things are finally starting to pick up for our two lovebirds!

I have to say, I had a LOT of fun writing this chapter. So, please let me know what you think! Also it is time for a nap as I am ridiculously exhausted (quarter is ending soon and grades are due!)


	13. Teacher and Student

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : First off, I want to apologize if the beginning of this chapter seems like déjà vu. But that is because it is. I really wanted you all to see the attack from both Kylo Ren's and Rey's point of view. So, the beginning of this chapter are the events from last chapter, but as told by Ren. I wanted to write his general reaction to everything, but doing so in a few sentence recap just seemed to short change everything. Besides, it's a turning point for both of them, and that means paying careful attention to their reactions!

And this chapter is also a celebration. Quarter 2 grades are in. This shouldn't be so stressful for me, but my students are so grade anxious, which in turn makes me anxious. I expect when report cards go out tomorrow I will be getting a lot of emails. But at least the hard part is done!

I hope you like this chapter! It seems as if it was a long time coming (lucky number thirteen!) Please let me know what you think. I've been getting the sense that some people are losing interest in the story. I don't know if that is because the pace is too slow, or that it's just boring. If you've stuck with it through to chapter thirteen, please let me know why! One thing I am trying to teach my students right now is how to listen to feedback and apply it. I would be a hypocrite if I did not to the same here.

So, that being said, thank you to everyone who has left feedback: Guest, Ceramic Monkey, Yueres De Leo, reikat, , ForeverDelighted, ForeverLillian, Jade Lammourgy, coelacanthis, Atiama Amisl, Elen-Di, projektrevolution20, River Fox, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusFan, CallistaLegaci, Guest, Akoto3725, Alduin's Bane, sunnyontheheight, whisper184, MaidMarian17, Holofernes, bluetigresss, SheLitAFire, LooernaLightlyn, Guest, Guest, sharpestsatire, LovingTheDaydreams, ladybear92, thefunbrigade, Silver Blur, Desna99, bluejustice13, TheKatieBugg, Boydje822, Mia Aisli, Infinities Lover, Perry Downing, and Guest.

Guest: Rey came to the base to find information, which Hux revealed to be a trap when she was captured. The entire Resistance fell for it, but Rey was the only one who made it onto the ship and was subsequently captured. Unfortunately now, she is a prisoner. But I don't know if I would necessarily call it Stockholm Syndrome but we shall see… ;)

Holofernes: I have a confession for you as well! I have a thing for redheads, so I was right there with you! I have actually seen interpretations and fics where Kylo Ren and Hux work well together as allies and friends. I do not see this at all though, and Hux just makes such a great adversary.

Sunnyontheheight: It is partially about the attack. But she is also realizes if she is ever going to escape, she needs to build her skills (which is why she was practicing last chapter!)

ForeverLillian: I love that you suggested a fanmix! Unfortunately, my music of choice is country music, which I don't think fits well with this ship at all (I actually just burst out laughing trying to picture it!) So I wouldn't even know what songs to suggest/include. However, I will say I tend to get inspired listening to the "Instrumental Pop Covers" playlist on Spotify. I can't write when listening to music with lyrics.

ForeverDelighted: I'm glad you liked the Luke/Leia scene. I am trying to incorporate more of that into the story, because all of the characters are so great. Of course my main focus is Kylo Ren and Rey, but everyone else is so important to! And THANK YOU for picking up on the talking to herself bit!

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen:** Student and Teacher

 _Please help me._

He had heard her calling out to him from his spot on the balcony overlook of the bridge. He had been absentmindedly watching the destruction of the Resistance base when her words pierced through his mind like an urgent alarm. Immediately, he snapped his neck in the direction of her chambers, sensing the dire urgency of whatever situation she was in. She was in distress, and she was calling out to _him_ for aid.

"Sir, is there something wron-" He did not let Captain Phasma finish her question. With the swirl of his dark cape, he was already headed off the bridge and back to her chambers. Through their strained connection, he could sense that she was in immediate peril. He could head the unmistakable pounding of her heart; she was terrified.

Quickly, he made his way to her chambers. Kylo Ren moved with an urgency that he never felt before, bulldozing his way through the halls of the ship. Stormtroopers ducked out of his way as he weaved in and out of corridors in an effort to use the quickest route. Upon reaching the locked door of her quarters, he waved the Stormtroopers who were standing guard to the side. They looked at each other in a moment's hesitation, but did not protest as they both stepped to the side and let their superior pass. The doors opened all too slowly, and he hastened in before they had completely opened.

When he had seen the cause of her distress, he immediately felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. General Hux, laying on top of her as she struggled beneath him. Before he could even comprehend what he was doing, he had channeled all his energy into violently throwing the general off of Rey and into the wall. He mission was over, he had rescued the girl. But he wanted to punish the general and remind him not to touch what was not his. Ever so slightly, Kylo Ren moved thumb and forefinger together and channeled his own dark power. It was just enough to cut off the general's airway. Hux was struggling now, attempting to move the invisible hand around his neck. His feet were kicking as he struggled for air. Ren knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he should stop the assault immediately. After all, General Hux was a prized member of the First Order, and his own ally. But at the moment, it mattered not. Hux had attacked the girl, attacked Rey, and he would have to pay for that.

A few more moments, and Ren knew he would be able to feel the life slipping away from Hux. It was a dance he had done many times before. Truly, he would not have minded if the general had been lost. But his master would not have approved. Dropping his hand, Kylo Ren let the general fall to the floor with a graceless _thud._ As the orange-haired general gasped for breath, he wordlessly signaled for the Stormtroopers at the door to escort him away. It was for the best; Ren would have killed him if Hux remained in his presence.

Instinctively, he made his way over to Rey's side. He noticed the way that she recoiled at his haste. Although he was somewhat disappointed in her reaction, he slowed down and put his hands up slightly, demonstrating that he meant her no harm. When he saw her muscles relax, he continued to make his way to her side. He knelt beside her, gently putting his hand on the small of her back as he helped her up. He was hyper aware of the contact between them, the electricity that seemed to flow through every touch. What was more was that he did not necessarily mind it.

Trying to focus on anything but her touch, his eyes did a sweep for any sign of injury. She had a small scratch on the corner of her cheek, and he felt anger boiling inside him. _How dare that mongrel Hux lay a hand on her?_ It took all of his training for him to keep his bubbling emotions steady, to remind himself that the scratch was superficial. He let out a deep breath before asking, "Are you hurt?"

She paused for a moment before shaking her head. Her eyes bore directly into his; Kylo Ren could feel her searching his eyes for the answer to her next question, "How did you know to come?"

Ren's brow creased as he recalled the moment on the bridge when he knew that something was amiss. He swallowed hard before making his reply, "You called out to me. You told me to come."

She frowned, and Ren got the sense that calling out for him was not her intention. He felt something in his chest sink; he was disappointed, but he could not exactly place his finger on _why._ But the girl looked up at him and curled his lips into the smallest of smiles, "Thank you. For coming when you did."

It took all of his training to keep his cheeks from turning pink. To distract himself from her gratitude, he took her hands in his and began to inspect them for any sign of injury. He frowned when he saw the red marks, in the shape of General Hux's hands, on her wrists. He cringed at the thought of that vile general touching her, "Why didn't you fight back?"

"Despite what you seem to think of me, I am not all-powerful. I could not throw him off of me."

He looked up at her, still holding her petite hands in his. He noticed that they had grown cold, and began to stroke them softly in an attempt to warm them up; a habit he had picked up from his mother during his childhood. As he warmed her gentle hands, he thought of her words, "You are saying that you need to continue your training,"

His words immediately changed the tone of their conversation. She pulled her hands away from him in a flash. She vehemently shook her head as she spit out the words, "No. You are not training me."

He thought of her, once again, lying under General Hux. A combination of anger and bile rose in his throat. He could not allow that to happen again, not while he could do _something_ to prevent it. Ren ran his fingers through his long dark locks, not bothering to mask his frustration with her answer, "There are people on this ship, like Hux, who will not hesitate to kill you. They regard you as an enemy. I cannot be here all the time to protect you. You must learn how to use your powers, if only in order to defend yourself against them. _Let me teach you._ "

He looked at her with pleading eyes. He could sense her hesitation, her fear that he would use this opportunity to turn her to the Dark Side. Mentally, Kylo Ren chastised himself; the thought, the perfect plan, had not even crossed his mind until that point. His only concern had been for her safety, "I will only help you learn the basics – I swear to you that I will not teach you anything Dark _unless you ask me to_. You have to trust me,"

He held his hand out to her, desperate for her to take it. It seemed like years before the young woman before him reacted.

He could not help the hammering of his own heart when she slipped her own small hand into his.

* * *

"Are you trying to kill me?" Rey hissed through gritted teeth at the dark figure who stood before her. She was on the ground, her hands and knees aching from her attempt at breaking her fall when she dodged the blaster shot. Slowly, she brought herself up to a standing position, dusting the bottom of her leggings off. She looked to her adversary, who was still holding the blaster at arm's length, ready to shoot at any moment. Rey was still dusting herself off as she mumbled, "Actually, I do not want an answer to that."

Kylo Ren did not laugh at her joke. She could not blame him, there was nothing about their situation that was even remotely amusing. This was her first day training with Kylo Ren as her new teacher, and the irony of the situation was not lost on her. The man who had tried to kill her before was now teaching her self-defense skills. She was still unsure if this arrangement was a smart idea. Her tutor looked at her expectantly, "It is imperative that you learn self-defense."

"I know how to defend myself," Rey huffed in frustration as she crossed her arms. She had not forgotten just how well she had been able to defend herself from Kylo Ren on Starkiller Base, and she was ready to remind him of the same. She defiantly lifted her chin at him, "Just give me my lightsaber and I will show you,"

"If you truly think I am going to put that weapon back in your hands, you are not as smart as I originally thought," His voice was even, as it had remained for most of their time in the training bay. Coupled with the mask he wore, he did not betray any hint of emotion as he trained his new student. In that way, his tutelage reminded Rey of her time spent under the instruction of Luke Skywalker. Master Luke always remained calm with her, even in the face of her most grievous mistakes and most childlike tantrums. A small part of Rey wanted to make the comparison known to Kylo Ren, if only to see his face turn the same shade as his lightsaber. But she would not risk turning him against her now, when they had begun to at least become cordial with each other. If she was going to be his prisoner for a prolonged period of time, she would not risk his wrath.

"What? Don't you trust me?" She smirked, using his own words against him. The moment he showed up in her room, blaster in hand, she insisted that training with him was a bad idea and that she had changed her mind. Kylo Ren had asked her those same words.

"Not in the slightest," Came his short reply, the same one that she had used on him earlier that day. Rey wanted nothing more than to scowl at him, but she could not prevent the smile that erupted instead.

Behind the mask, her new tutor did not betray any emotion. Instead, he cocked his head to the side as he straightened his arm. The movement was so slight that the untrained eye would not have been able to pick it up. But to her it was the most obvious thing in the world, thanks to her strength in the Foce. Kylo Ren was getting ready to shoot her again. But she would not be caught off guard again. She closed her eyes, feeling the atmosphere around her. She could sense every shift, every miniscule movement that he made through the Force. Even with her sight hindered, she could sense when he pulled the trigger on the weapon. Immediately, she lifted her hand and felt herself will the blaster to change its course.

Rey opened her eyes as she heard the sounds of the impact of the blaster's discharge. She could see in front of her, the blaster has struck the wall on the opposite side of the training room, leaving singe marks in the metal. Her eyes went wide with unadulterated surprise. Many disastrous attempts at deflecting the oncoming impact of the weapon had ended badly for Rey; this was her first successful attempt. She turned to her new mentor, hoping to get any reaction from him: surprise, pride, disgust, disdain. But she could not read behind the black mask that hid all of his features. His voice was cold and mechanical as he raised the blaster once more and said, "Good. Now do it again,"

The two former adversaries continued to practice her deflection techniques for the next hour or so, at her new mentor's insistence. He would only be satisfied when she was able to complete the trick consistently, without any problems or hesitations. But Rey was a quick learner, and when she learned how to do something she was able to master the skill at an incredible speed.

"Your skill is impressive," The mechanical voice of Kylo Ren did not sound impressed, but Rey was not about to question him. She watched as he pushed a few buttons on the side of his helmet, and pulled the armor off of him. As he wiped the beads of sweat off of his brow, she turned her head away. Even though she had been his prisoner for quite some time now, she was always taken aback when he did that. She hated to be reminded that the face of the man who rescued her from the insidious General Hux was the same masked monster that was infamous throughout the galaxy for his cruelty and malice. She was not facing him when she heard him say, "But deflection will not help you if your adversary comes at you physically."

Rey swallowed hard, immediately recalling the helpless feeling she experienced as General Hux had her pinned down. Her eyes fell to the floor, ashamed of her own inability to fight back in the situation.

"We will spar to build up your strength," Although Rey was not looking directly at him, she could heard distinct and light _pat_ sound of clothing hitting the floor. Immediately, she whipped her head around, wide eyed, to question what he was doing. The black suit he usually wore had been replaced, rather quickly, by a black tunic shirt that hugged his upper arms quite nicely and fitted black slacks. Rey blinked furiously, unsure of how he had managed to change from his normal attire so quickly. She could not even be certain she was looking at the same man; the change in his clothing was _that_ radical. He appeared much more relaxed in this attire, much more human. He did not look like the monster of her nightmares this way, and that realization made her shift uncomfortably.

If Kylo Ren noticed her discomfort, he did not let on. Instead, he beckoned her over to the sparring ring in the center of the training room. She chewed on her bottom lip hesitantly as she followed him. "The first thing you should know about physical combat is a defensive stance. Let me see yours."

Rey adjusted her posture so that her two hands were in front of her chest, curled in to fists. She subtly bended her knees in order to give herself some stability in the ring. She looked at Ren expectantly; her mentor raised his eyebrows at her, but did not speak. In the span of a heartbeat, she saw him fly towards her. Before Rey could react, she felt herself hit the floor with a hard _thud._ Wincing in pain, she did not let herself stay on the ground for too long – she would not let her attacker gain the upper hand again. But Kylo Ren made no move to attack. His hand was reached out toward her. She took it as he pulled her back on to her feet, "Your defensive posture is atrocious. Your feet should have been wider apart, to give yourself more stability. And your hands were too low, they should have been protecting your face, not your chest."

As he spoke, he maneuvered her body into the correct position. He took her wrists in his bare hands, gently bringing them up so that they were in front of her face. Rey could feel the charge of his skin on hers as he took each of her fingers and carefully curly them into a fist. She could feel the Force radiating through him, and moving through her with each second that they were in contact. She lifted her eyes to meet his, desperate to know if he felt it too. His dark eyes bore directly into her brown ones, and she had her affirmative answer.

She watched as his Adam's apple rose and fell with each calculated touch. She could feel his warmth radiating through _her_ , and it gave her energy. Slowly, his calloused fingers made their way from her hands and grazed over her bare arms before landing on her hips. Rey swallowed hard; she felt something burning deep within her as his hands adjusted the position of her hips. Immediately upon realizing her own desire, she pushed the surprising and unwelcome thought from her mind. _No,_ she told herself, _it is wrong._

 _Control yourself. You are not your emotions._

She attempted to use the Jedi trick on how to push away unwanted emotions.

 _You can separate yourself from them._

 _You are not your emotions._

Rey could feel her heartbeat steady as she repeated the words Master Luke has taught her over and over in her minds. The strange desire that had been rising in her quelled, but did not dissipate. She swallowed hard, ashamed of the attraction that she still felt for the man in front of her.

"I am going to attack you," Kylo Ren's voice broke her own train of thought. Rey snapped her head up, "Do not try to attack me. Right now I just want to see you defend yourself."

Rey nodded at the instruction. But before she had time to do much else, Kylo had already lifted himself in the air and launched himself at her. Rey dug her feet firmly into the ground, ready to defend her position. He threw a punch at her, aiming directly for her nose. But Rey was able to sense his movement before it even occurred, and raised her right hand to block it accordingly. Some part of her mind registered the pain of the contact, but she was able to use the Force to compartmentalize the pain and focus on the challenge at hand. Another arm came flying in her direction, and Rey dodged the punch, this time with a dip and swivel of her hips.

Every hit came faster and faster. Rey, who had spent a minimal amount of time training in hand to hand combat with Master Luke, was surprised at her own ability in the area. She impressed herself with her ability to masterfully dodge punches. Biting her bottom lip, she willed her thoughts over to her opponent.

 _Come on, challenge me._

He picked up his pace at her words, punching and kicking her at lightning speed. Rey was able to successfully block each attack, despite their increase in frequency and fervor. She was concentrating so hard on deflecting his advances that she had not realized he had backed her in to a corner. She only noticed it when her shoulders forcefully pressed against the wall; she was trapped, with nowhere to go. Instinctively, Rey attempted to put herself on the offensive. She stepped forward, flinging her arm at her opponent. But Kylo Ren was able to catch her fist as it flew at him, and brought it down to her level. It took a step closer to her; they were so close that she was able to feel him up against her.

 _Is this enough of a challenge for you?_

His words echoed in her mind. As Rey defiantly looked at him, still attempting to wrestle herself from his grasp, she could see his lips turn upward in the smallest of smirks. He pinned her closer to the wall, so that she was unable to break free. Rey stopped fighting, feeling the heavy weight of him pressed up against her. Kylo Ren raised his hand, gentling bringing his fingers to her cheeks. Rey felt herself shiver under his touch. She parted her lips, unsure of how she _should_ react under the given circumstances.

But before Rey even had the chance to react, Kylo's lips were on hers. Delicately at first, but then harder, _needier_. A small part of her knew that she should have pushed him away, or resisted in some form. But she did not. In fact, she realized that she did not want to. She found herself kissing him back, meeting his buried desires with her own. Surprisingly, his lips were soft. She had not expected _that_.

He grinded up against her, pinning her further to the wall. Rey let out a barely audible groan of pleasure at the contact. She returned the favor, gentling gnawing at his bottom lip. She could feel him tremble at the gesture. _This is wrong_. The thought weaseled its way into her head; she could not deny it. But as his lips were on hers, as she was tasting him, she realized that there was a part of her that just did not care.

If only for the moment.

The two were so lost in their own blissful reverie that they did not notice another presence enter into the training bay.

"Lord Ren," The unmistakably female voice of Captain Phasma broke the silence. Immediately, Kylo leapt off of Rey; she stumbled slightly that her tutor was no longer holding her up against the wall. Both Force sensitives looked to the armor clad commander of the Stormtroopers. Rey could feel her cheeks grow hot at being intruded upon, especially given her title as Resistance prisoner. "You are needed on the bridge at once, sir."

"Yes, of course," Kylo acknowledged, with the wave of his hand, "I will be there shortly."

With a respectful bow of her head, the captain ducked out of the training bay.

Kylo began to fumble around with the training supplies, and picked up his regular suit and mask from where he had discarded it before their sparring matching. He moved mechanically, as if he was forcing himself to leave. He did not even look at her as he gave her his final command, "You are to go back to your chambers. The guards posted at the door here will escort you."

Without another word, Kylo Ren was out the door. Rey stood, alone, at the center of the now empty training bay. She raised her hand to her mouth, gently grazing the area where, just a few moments ago, his lips had been on hers. She closed her eyes, and let out a frustrated sigh.

 _What the hell just happened?_

* * *

 **Author's Note** : Whoop, there it is. Please, FEEDBACK.


	14. Right and Wrong

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Hello guys! I am so so so sorry about the delay in this chapter. First, I wrote and rewrote and rewrote it again. I had this part of the plot go in three different directions, and was not happy with any of them. In addition, things have been kind of crazy at work! With grading and lesson planning and a million other things, I have been usually too exhausted to write. But please know I have not forgotten about this story!

Special thank you to Artgrlie815, WaspInterprizes, Megumisakura, Guest, Guest, elfmania, Starry-Eyed Bex, SuppaStop, LoneWriter, Katherine, RelaRangel, Lisa, Citra-talugmai, Guest, Jessica-Clancy1993, Shiba-Studios, APenName, Darkside12, xxbubbiixx, Kelena93, Dorothea, rjedi44, TheKatieBugg, OH MY GOODNESS, Cheyenne, Lizard21, 2die4u, Jade Lammourgy, MusicGoodess, Guest, SheLitAFire, Mia Aisli, KerstinScholtes, Guest, Guest, ProjektRevolution20, elfigreen14, Akoto3725, desna99, Lily Atelier, ForeverDelighted, Arkytior's Song, Kaitlyn. , LooernaLightlyn, twrll13, , tamar3, lachesisbenton, darquise300, Ilsa with an I, berrykitty, Holorernes, zazanga, DramioneLurver, MaidMarian, Atiama Amisl, DoctorHiddles14, coelacanthis, Whisper184, Lily, ForeverLillian, reikat, TLGRIMN, BrennanTheCOnqueror, PyperAm, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusfan, Wings through skies, Perry Downing, and Silver Phantom for all of the awesome reviews!

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen:** Right and Wrong

 _Rey was shivering uncontrollably as the evening dragged on. Nights on the desert planet of Jakku were always cold, as deserts often were, and often times she struggled to keep warm. This evening was no different than any of the hundreds that had come before. It was characterized by the same loneliness and cold that they all were. She layered herself in scratchy wool blanket in a sorry attempt to warm herself, but Rey felt the chill deep down on her bones. Her makeshift home in a broken down AT-AT did not allow for much warmth either. Even though she rigged the heating system, power on most nights was down. Power cost rations that she could not afford. She hugged her knees tightly to keep herself warm, but it was no use. She was not able to free herself from the terrible cold. Her teeth began chattering, a sure sign that she would be unable to sleep that night due to the temperature._

 _That was when she felt it - a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves tightly around her. Heat radiated from those arms throughout her body. She recognized the feel of the arms immediately. Soon enough, she was wrapped in warmth, something that she had not felt in a long time. Rey smiled, "I thought you were called away on important business,"_

" _I could never stay away for too long," A familiar voice sounded from behind her. She felt lips on her neck, bringing a more welcome chill across her body. Her lips curled upward in a small smile and she craned her neck. She could feel Kylo Ren's lips trail across her neck and down to her collar bone. "Besides, it looks like you needed me. And you know I always come when you need me. Ever since we were children,"_

" _Always," She repeated softly, a genuine smile creeping on her lips._

 _The two of them sat together in silence for a while, enjoying the presence of the other's companies. No words passed between them; they did not have to. Rey could hear the wind howling from outside of the AT-AT, creating a ghostly sound. It was eerie, but peaceful. It was the music that lulled her to sleep on her nights spent alone on Jakku. She could feel the sound lulling her to sleep as she was wrapped in the arms of the man beside her..._

 _Rey was suddenly woken at a new, more alarming sound. A commotion coming from outside of their makeshift home. Immediately, the two of them leapt to their feet as they prepared to defend themselves._

 _She reached for her lightsaber, calling out to it through the Force. As it gracefully landed in her hand, a pronounced red beam unleashed itself. She raised the weapon, ready to defend herself from any threat. It was only after a few more moments that the threat made its way inside of their home._

 _Bursting through the hatch were three distantly familiar faces. She recognized them from somewhere, a life that she left behind long ago._

" _Rey," One of the threats said, "Rey, it's me. It's Finn. I am here to rescue you,"_

 _Rescue? Why would she need to be rescued? She frowned as she looked at the intruders one by one, trying to figure out the meaning behind their words. She blinked repeatedly, unsure of how to react in this situation._

" _Come on," Another said, frowning as Kylo Ren moved himself so that he stood firmly by her side, "He's tricked you into staying with him. It's not real,"_

 _Rey's eyes narrowed as she tried to place a name to the familiar face, "Poe?"_

" _Rey," The familiar voice of Luke Skywalker emerged, as his face came through the hatch that led into her home, "Rey, come back with us. Come away from here. Come back to the light,"_

 _Instinctively, she took a step towards the intruders. She recognized their faces, and she could sense that they meant_ her _no harm. After all, these had been her companions in a former life. But as Rey walked towards them, she felt an arm on her wrist tighten. She stopped, startled at the reaction. She had not even noticed that she had been grabbed. She looked back to see Kylo Ren, his eyes pleading with her. She could feel him begging her to stay, to not leave him behind. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She looked back at her friends, unsure of what she was supposed to do._

 _She had a decision to make._

Rey shot up in her bed, her breathing echoing through the silent room. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she tried to tell herself that everything had just been a dream. But she could not calm down, her brain was reeling from what she had just seen. She had been in bed with Kylo Ren. She had been back on Jakku, away from the First Order and the Resistance. And there was something about her presence in that dream, something darker than normal. Her face froze in a mixture of both shock and terror as she recalled what she had dreamt of. _I had a red lightsaber._

"Would that really be so bad?" A voice from the darkness queried. Her head immediately snapped to the direction of the voice; she saw Kylo Ren, his face barely visible in the darkness of the room. Rey's eyes widened, feeling intruded upon. Despite everything that had come to pass between them, he was her greatest enemy and rival. What was he doing in her room while she was asleep? Rey was not sure that even wanted to know. She pushed the thought from her mind, and concentrated on the memory of the dream. She shuddered as she recalled the glow of the red weapon that was her own.

"Yes," Rey replied instantly, without having to seriously consider his question, "Yes, it would." She imagined herself having such a weapon, and being a part of the Dark Side. It was difficult, and there was something about it that felt so wrong. It made her feel agitated, and she shifted uncomfortably in the sheets the more she continued to think about it.

He did not immediately respond to her words, leaving them hanging in the air over the two of them. Instead, he bridged the gap between the two of them by making his way from the shadows to the bed where she was. Rey could feel the thin mattress shift as he took his seat on the edge of it. She could feel his presence, the same heat that she had dreamed about only moments before. She felt her face turn pink at the thought of it again.

"You would be more powerful than you know," His voice was soft as he offered his thoughts to her. His words were dangerous, but his tone was gentle. Like the moment that the two of them shared earlier that day. Her cheeks flushed an even deeper shade as she tried to push the memory from her mind. The knight gave no indication that he knew what she was thinking, and for that she was grateful. Kylo Ren only looked at her as he continued, "I know that you have a great desire to prove yourself, to grow in your powers. And you can. Just let me teach you how."

She thought of Luke, and her act of insubordination that caused her captivity in the first place. She _had_ wanted nothing more than to prove herself to him in the moment. There was no denying that. But she was not dark, she was a part of the light side of the Force. Rey adamantly shook her head, suspecting that she had to be forceful in her rejection of his offer, "No. I do not want you to teach me any of that – it's _wrong._ "

"Wrong?" He mused, letting the word roll gently over his tongue. He gave her the smallest smirk, and Rey felt her ears heat up in embarrassment as her heart beat increased. Even now, he was having this effect on her. He leaned in closer to her; Rey had to wonder if he was doing this to her intentionally. "I have to disagree, I believe it is so very _right._ But what does it matter? Who decides what is right and what is wrong?"

 _All that matters is what you want._

Kylo Ren's voice echoed in her mind. Rey blinked a few times, confused as to how he could have done that. She had spent so much trying to keep the knight out of her head. But he had been able to speak to her through the Force. But the more she thought about that fact, the less that it bothered her. In some ways, she had grown close to the man in front of her. He was her only companion at the moment. And the kiss that they had shared earlier that day only seemed to link the two of them even further.

 _What do you want, Rey?_

Truth be told, Rey did not know what she wanted. She wanted to go back to the Resistance. She wanted to finish her training with Luke Skywalker, to master the ways of the Force. She wanted to see her friends again. But there was a part of her that also wanted to stay. A part of her that liked the moment that was shared between the two of them, a part of her that felt an unmistakable pull to him. A part of her that wanted Kylo Ren.

And that was the part of her that acted now.

Without thinking, without considering the consequences of her actions, Rey bridged the remaining gap between the two of them and pressed her lips against his. He tasted sweet to her, like the finest honey in the galaxy. He responded to her advances, moving his hands gently up her forearms before firmly grasping her shoulders. As the two of them moved together, Rey could feel a charge building up between them. She could not place her finger on it, but there was something greater than the two of them at work here. She could feel the Force surrounding the two of them, overpowering her senses entirely...until it became too much to bear.

 _Rey once again found herself on the planet from her last memory, surrounded by foreign objects and people - all of whom seemed to pay no attention to her. Children and young adults in traditional Jedi garb walked by her, not even looking upon the intruder. It was as if she was not even there. Rey frowned, wondering what had triggered this supposed memory once again. The last thing that she could recall, Rey had been in her bedchamber, with Kylo Ren. She looked around, searching to see if he was experiencing the same flashback as she was. She chewed her bottom lip hesitantly as she searched for him, but he was nowhere in sight._

 _Rey wandered around what she assumed was the Jedi temple, taking in all of the sights and sounds of the place. She was bewildered, she had never seen so many Jedi in one place before. There had only ever been one for a long as she could remember. It was a wonder to think that so many Jedi had existed in the past. It was truly a stunning sight to see._

 _She looked for hidden clues that could unlock the mystery that surrounded her past - but she could not even find her younger self in the commotion of the temple. Rey began to wonder if she was connected to this memory at all. She tried to concentrate, using her strength in the Force to locate her younger self. But Rey could not feel the girl's presence._

 _A small cry of indignation disrupted Rey's attempts at locating the girl. Her forehead creased as she frowned, she she looked over to see what was happening not too far from her. She could see a young Ben Solo, stalking away where she saw a Padawan sitting on the floor. He had pushed the child over as he stormed through the crowed. Her interest was piqued, and Rey found herself walking side by side with him. All of her memories were centered around her and Ben Solo. If she followed him, she would be led to more answers._

 _The young boy did not know that she was there, and paid little to no attention to his surroundings. While Rey weaved in and out of the people walking by, Ben Solo barrelled through all of them with little to no remorse._

" _Ben!" That was when she heard it. A small, yet unmistakable voice in the distance. "Ben, wait for me! Please!"_

 _Rey watched on as her younger self struggled to match the long strides of Ben Solo. She had concern etched on her face, "Why did you run out like that?"_

" _Master does not want to show us what we can truly do," The young man huffed irritably. But Rey watched as his paced slowed slightly to let the young girl catch up. He softened slightly; Rey had to wonder what about her could have caused such a change in the volatile Ben. "He is limiting us, and our potential."_

" _Why?"_

" _He is scared we will become too powerful," He said, "He does not want us to be better than him. He won't let me prove myself."_

 _Rey frowned as she heard Ben Solo's explanation; she knew exactly how he was feeling. She had felt the same a short while ago when he refused to allow her to be a part of the rescue mission._

" _Master just wants us to be careful," The young girl explained, "He does not want us to be tempted by the Dark Side,"_

" _The Dark Side is a choice we have. The Dark Side has power," Ben sighed, as if he were explaining the most obvious of facts, "If he does not let us learn that power, he is not helping us. He is just making us slaves to the light."_

" _Ben, you're scaring me," The little girl looked up at her only friend, hurt clouding her once adoring eyes, "It's wrong to use that kind of power."_

" _Master Luke doesn't get to tell me what is right and what is wrong," Rey watched as his eyes went dark. The little girl's face fell as Ben continued, "And he shouldn't tell you either. You should be able to make your own choices, Rey. You could come with me, if you want."_

 _The little girl looked up, her eyes watering with unshed tears. She blinked the tears away, and cleared her throat as she considered his words, "Where are you going, Ben?"_

 _Rey felt her heart sink as the young Ben turned away from the girl, "I can't be here anymore, Rey. I cannot study under Master Luke. Someone else has promised to teach me everything there is to know about the Force. He will help me get stronger. He could help you too – he would like to help someone as powerful as you."_

 _Ben gave the young Rey an entreating look, but there was darkness in his eyes as well. She wanted nothing more than to stop them both in that moment, and shake some sense into both of them. But she watched helplessly as young girl bit her bottom lip hesitantly, "I can't, Ben. I cannot leave Master Luke and the other Jedi."_

" _So be it… If you change your mind, you know how to reach out to me." The boy replied, his voice hardening at the rejection. He turned to walk away from the girl, leaving her looking crestfallen in his wake. But before he could fully detach himself, he turned once more to face her, "If the time comes that you and I are on opposite sides, and you stand in my way…"_

 _His face contorted painfully as he considered his words. Instead of speaking them out loud, he let his voice trail off. He turned, storming off from the girl before she could whimper once more in protest. Rey looked to her younger self, who had been so desperately trying to control the wells of tears that were forming in her eyes._

 _Rey's heart broke in that instant. It broke for the younger version of herself in front of her, who had just lost her only friend. And it broke for the young man walking away, because he did not seem to realize how much he was giving up._

She felt as if the wind were knocked out of her as she emerged from the vision. She gasped for air as she sat in an upright position. She felt a pair of hands grab her arms in an attempt to steady her. She looked up to see the eyes of Kylo Ren boring deep into hers, his long dark lashes fluttering in confusion. Her throat was scratchy and dry as she asked him, "D-did you see that too?"

He nodded, "I have no recollection of ever having spoken to you, or anyone else for that matter, about leaving the Jedi. But, I suppose at this point it should come as no surprise,"

She smiled at the dry humor that was in his voice. But it was difficult to find true humor in the situation. Years worth of memories were missing, and there was little that they could do about it. "Perhaps it is better this way – you seemed intent on killing me if we ever stood on opposite sides in a fight. I have to say that I am glad you did not remember that."

She had meant her remark to be humorous, dark just as his joke had been. But there was something other than humor etched on to his face – _pain._ He ran his fingers through his dark hair, "Rey, I do not think I could hurt you, like I supposedly promised to. You and I are much better suited as allies."

He stood up, and Rey could feel the bed shift underneath her as he moved. He did not say anything else as he removed himself from her room. Once she was alone, she considered his words. _Allies?_ Were the two of them allies now?

She could not be his ally - she loathed everything that the First Order offered.

But they were not enemies anymore either.

Putting her hands to her temples, Rey groaned.

What were they then?

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Alright guys, I'm sorry that this is pretty much filler. But please let me know what you think!


	15. Prisoner and Guest

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Once again I am so sorry that this is not out on a Thursday! Like I said in my last author's note, work has gotten to be ridiculously stressful. I just finished grading some essays, which sadly have to take precedence over this. In addition, I started going out and dating again! So that has been interesting, and fun and all kinds of weird. Also time consuming. But I'm sitting here now, with strep throat, determined to finish a chapter for all of you lovelies this week. So here it is!

Also, kind of random, but a couple of chapters ago someone asked me if I had a soundtrack/playlist to this story. I do not, but I find that whenever I need inspiration, I listen to Hozier's Take Me to Church. I don't know why, but that song really does remind me of Reylo.

Thank you to everyone who is sticking by this story. I really appreciate it, and all of the wonderful feedback you have given me. So, without further delay, here are the shoutouts! Thank you to LiberLibelula, anon, Guest, ForeverDelighted, felisanavidad, Starry-Eyed Bex, DoctorHiddles14, LooernaLightlyn, Desna99, mrjedi44, DDLo18, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusFan, CountessR, little miss moonlight, Atiama Amisl, Megumisakura, Arkytior's Song, VivaStory, Perry Downing, Projektrevolution20, and bluejustice13!

VivaStory – Ah yes, "always". That word will always have a special place in my heart, and I will try to use it whenever I can.

Starry-Eyed Bex – Well, based on your review, I hope you like this chapter!

ForeverDelighted – The question posed in the dream is definitely going to be something that comes back to (ahem) _haunt_ Rey. Sorry, could not resist a good pun.

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 **Chapter Fifteen:** Prisoner and Guest

Kylo Ren found himself alone in his own rooms, having left Rey for the second time that day. After their shared memory, he could not bear to be in her presence a moment longer. He thought back to their shared moments together, how soft her pink lips had felt on his own. The way that she had felt underneath him. Even now, he could feel his blood rise at the mere thought of her. He could feel his passion for the young woman growing even now. But at the same time, he could not deny who he was, and his purpose. He was to continue his grandfather's work, and she stood square in the way of that goal. The memory that the two of them shared served as a painful reminder of that. But even now, Kylo Ren could sense that deep inside of her mind, there was some doubt as that.

He was pacing inside of his designated rooms, attempting to burn off the pent up aggression that was boiling inside of him. He was angry at the situation; it was as if the universe was conspiring to make his mission of completing the work laid out by Anakin Skywalker as difficult as humanely possible for him. He was angry at Rey for having this effect on him; he had never been so tempted by a woman before. He was angry at Supreme Leader Snoke for ordering him to seduce Rey to the Dark Side. He was even angry at himself, for not having the willpower to resist the temptation that he was now facing. The anger inside him now was boiling over. Taking the lightsaber at his hip, he unleashed his fury on the room. He took the weapon and began slashing at everything in his sight. The walls, the table. Even the pillows on his bed began raining down feathers as he gutted those with his weapon. The only thing that remained untouched was the helmet that had belonged to Darth Vader.

When there was nothing left to destroy, Kylo Ren finally sheathed his weapon. His breath was uneven as he struggled to calm himself down. But he was unable to do so, the anger and passion he felt for Rey Kenobi was too much for him to bear. His flung his weapon to the side in frustration, ignoring the loud clatter it made as it hit the metal floor. He looked around at the wreckage of his bedchambers. The mess was quite large. He would have to have repair droids come and fix the damage he had caused. But that was a task for another time. At the moment, he just wanted to be alone with his own thoughts.

 _Apprentice, come to me._

Kylo Ren closed his eyes, sighing loudly in frustration. He wanted nothing more than to be alone to process everything that had happened, but he was being summoned by the Supreme Leader. He could not simply ignore the command, no matter how badly he wanted to. The knight took a moment to collect himself. His breathing steadied, and he put on the mask that helped to hide his emotions from the rest of the world. While Kylo Ren could not hide much from the Supreme Leader, it would be enough of a comfort for himself at least.

Without further delay, Kylo Ren made his way down the halls of the starship and into Supreme Leader Snoke's receiving room. The click of his boots on the cold hard floor was the only sound that accompanied him. The door leading to the receiving room opened automatically, so that the knight did not have to slow his pace. Upon entering, Kylo Ren could see the holographic image of his dark master was already waiting for him, perched on his giant throne.

Kylo Ren genuflected in front of the Supreme Leader, an immediate sign of respect. He kept his head down, refusing to look up at the dark lord until he was asked a direct question.

Kylo Ren did not have to wait long.

"Tell me, Lord Ren," The booming voice of Supreme Leader Snoke echoed throughout the otherwise empty chamber, "How is your progress with the girl?"

Kylo Ren cleared his throat, so slightly that the mechanized voice box of his mask did not pick it up, "She remains committed to her friends, and her perceived place on the Light Side of the Force, Supreme Leader. But I have also sensed that she feels conflicted."

"Conflicted," The hologram echoed, "You have both seen more of those memories you have told me about, yes?"

Kylo Ren nodded. "We share a past, which is more connected than either of us realized before. I believe we were friends once, Supreme Leader. And that has led her to develop… an affinity for me." He was not sure how best to phrase what the two of them had for one another. It was far too complicated to define. But he had no doubt that Supreme Leader Snoke had already been inside his head and knew exactly what he was struggling to define. There was no keeping secrets from his master.

"But she has not proclaimed loyalty to you yet." The Supreme Leader did not ask a question. Kylo Ren nodded, confirming the statement put forth by his master. The hologram stroked his chin in contemplation before continuing, "While she had not yet proclaimed her loyalty to both you and the First Order, I do sense a shift in the Force. A part of her heart has turned dark."

"A promising start," Ren offered.

"Promising, yes. But not enough," The Supreme Leader continued, "I also sense a shift in you, Kylo Ren."

To say that he was taken aback at the words that had come out of Supreme Leader Snoke's mouth shocked him would be a gross understatement. But the dark lord was powerful in the Force, and Kylo Ren did not dare to deny his abilities. He could only stutter slightly, trying to find some explanation for what he had sensed. He had not consciously been tempted ever to leave the First Order. But before he could even get the words out, the large hologram in front of him waved his hand in a signal for silence. The dark figure continued, "Given your parentage, and your former training under Luke Skywalker, it is natural for you to feel the pull towards the light. But it is not something that can be entertained."

The Supreme Leader's words were harsh, and did not leave any room for debate. Kylo Ren nodded solemnly, "I do not forget who I am, Supreme Leader. Ben Solo is dead. I am Kylo Ren, master of the Knights of Ren. I serve only you." He bowed his head to show his own subservience to his master.

"Do not let yourself forget that," The booming voice of the Supreme Leader echoed ominously throughout the chamber. "Go, Lord Ren. I want you and the girl both to spend time and hone your abilities at the old Sith Temple on Coruscant."

"Coruscant? Supreme Leader, that planet has not been inhabited for close to a decade." As the First Order rose to prominence within the galaxy, their first order of business had been to decimate the current planet that held the capital of the New Republic. That had been almost ten years ago, and the planet had been deserted ever since.

Kylo Ren could tell just by looking at the flickering hologram that his master was not pleased with his pupil asking so many questions, "We have begun to set up a base on Coruscant. As you know it was once the seat of the Galactic Empire. It will once again be restored to its former glory. But it is no matter, you _will_ leave immediately. And once you arrive on Coruscant, your mission is still the same. Continue to sway the girl, but do not let her sway you. I can sense that the Resistance is formulating a plan. The time will come soon where both of your loyalties will be tested. Do not disappoint me, Kylo Ren."

Kylo Ren nodded, bringing his fist to his chest in a sign of both respect and contrition. Wordlessly, he brought himself up from his knees and turned from the large throne room.

As he made his way through the long corridors of the ship, Kylo Ren contemplated what he had just been ordered to do. He would continue to train Rey, without the prying eyes of General Hux to scrutinize every move. It would be just the two of them on that world. Ren had to admit, the thought of that brought him great pleasure.

 _Do not let her distract you from the task at hand._ The shame he had felt at the thinly veiled accusation from Supreme Leader Snoke was enough to keep him in line, and remind him of his sense of duty to the First Order.

He would continue to seduce Rey to the Dark Side. He would continue to act upon his passion for her. But he would not let her tempt him to the Light.

After all, he was Kylo Ren. Heir to the legacy of Darth Vader.

* * *

She was going crazy.

That was it, she had to be going mad after being locked away for so long. After having returned to her rooms from training with Kylo Ren, she remained there. A droid brought food to her three times a day, and the only contact she had with anyone was from her confusing captor. She spent her time meditating, and strengthening her mind within the Force. But she found herself growing weary of the tasks, and her muscles longed to be put to good use. Rey needed to go out and _do something._ Even if it was only the menial task of fixing broken systems on the grand starship.

Acting on impulse, she made her way to the automatic door that barred her from the outside world. She pushed the small "open" button on the side of the door, not expecting anything of consequence to happen. She was still a prisoner after all. Much to her surprise, the door opened immediately on the first try. She raised her eyebrows, but took a step out and looked around. Two Stormtroopers remained in their place by her door, but they did not so much as turn to look as she poked her head around.

Rey shrugged, unsure of what to make of this new situation and her new freedom. But she was entirely grateful to get out of her room, and she was going to make the most of it. Taking a few cautious steps out of her chambers, she found herself walking towards the training bay. After the first few unguarded steps, she noticed that the armed Stormtroopers posted at her door were following at a steady pace behind her. Rey bit her bottom lip; it would seem that her prisoner status had not been entirely revoked. She had to wonder if Kylo Ren was still fearful that she would escape.

 _Escape._

Immediately, Rey felt ashamed of herself. She had been just granted newfound, albeit limited, freedom. But her first thought was not to try and escape the confines of the First Order. Instead, it had been to go and practice her fighting skills in the training bay. The thought of escape had not so much as occurred to her. But now that the thought had weaseled its way into her mind, she could not let go of it. Was she a bad person for not considering it earlier? Should she try to overpower the armed guards and make a run for it?

But she did not. She dutifully walked to the training bay; something was holding her back, keeping her from escaping. And yet, she did not know what it was.

 _Liar,_ a small voice inside her mind mocked her.

Rey blinked, the guilt washing over her for the second time that day. Of course she knew what it was. Or, more accurately, who it was that was preventing her from escaping. If not physically, it was mentally.

Rey hated herself for it.

Once in the training bay, she found an old sparring droid. Programming it to fight at the hardest level, she began to throw her hardest and fastest punches. With each hit, she was hoping to feel somewhat better. Each time the droid hit back, she relished in the pain. She deserved it, after all. She was a horrible Padawan, for not trying her absolute hardest to get back to her master. She was a horrible friend, for forsaking her friends. And all for what?

She pictured Kylo Ren's face, and her heart fluttered slightly.

And she hated herself for it.

She hit the droid with everything that she had, and did not complain once when it hit her back with full force. She let out all of her anger out on it, not even fully seeing in the target in front of her. All she saw was red.

That was her undoing. She was so concerned with hitting her target, she did not even see the droid pull a fast one on her. The machine's uppercut into her stomach caused Rey to topple over onto her side. For the briefest of moments, she could not breathe because of the pain in her chest. When Rey was down, the machine took on the advantage. Rey felt the sensation of being hit all over her body. Through the pain, she tried her hardest to yield, but it was no use. The words were not coming out.

Rey found herself growing even angrier – she was _not_ helpless. And she was more powerful than this droid knew. She was going to defeat it. Using the energy that surrounded her, she channeled the Force. She could feel it vibrate throughout every cell of her body. With a thought, she was able to send the droid flying haphazardly across the room. It smashed into the wall with a loud _crash_ , smashing into chunks of scrap metal. Rey found herself breathing furiously through her nose, unable to stifle the anger that was building up inside of her.

That was when she heard the clapping.

She turned to the entrance of the training bay, and found an unmasked Kylo Ren applauding as he casually leaned against the wall. "Impressive," He remarked while still applauding, "I have to say, I have not seen that kind of fire within you before."

Rey did not say anything, unsure of _how_ exactly she should respond to that. Her use of the Force came solely from a place of unbridled anger; that was not something that the Jedi did. The Jedi were controlled, they did not let themselves get angry. Rey swallowed the lump she had not even realized was forming in her throat – _what was happening to her?_

Luckily, the knight did not wait for her response, "We are leaving, you and I,"

His words caused Rey to pause. "What do you mean we are leaving?"

"We have our orders to go to Coruscant," He explained, as Rey stood up and dusted herself off, "The First Order has some business there, and I should like you to accompany me. I think it would benefit you to get off of this ship,"

Rey could sense that there was more to this trip than he was letting on. But she did not press the matter. Instead, she pursed her lips together into a fine line, "And what if I do not want to accompany you, Lord Ren?"

She was mocking him and he knew it. But he only gave her a sly smile in response, "You will accompany me to Coruscant. We leave in three hours."

Like most things involving Kylo Ren, Rey knew that she no longer had a choice in the matter.

* * *

"General," A familiar mechanic voice startled Leia Organa, disrupting the mild daydream she had been having. She had been thinking of herself and Han, when their son had just been born. She could still feel herself holding him, as the tiny newborn squirmed slightly in her arms. Han Solo had been terrified to hold the boy for a good three days after his birth, claiming that he would break him. She smiled fondly at the memory. But it was only after a few moments of nostalgic reverie that the warmth of the memory turned cold. Han Solo was no longer with them. And neither was her Ben.

She turned to the source of the interruption, thankful for the break in the memory that had turned dark. C3PO was standing a few feet away from her, waiting politely for Leia to acknowledge him. She greeted the protocol droid with a small smile, "Threepio, what brings you here? I thought you were working with Finn to try and get in to the encrypted data that Poe stole from that scavenger on Takodana."

"That is precisely why I am here, Prin-General Organa," The droid corrected himself before addressing her by her old title. He swung his mechanical arms upward, his telltale indicator of haste, "We have found the plans that were originally hidden on the file chip. It is most important, if you would come with me, General."

Leia followed C3PO to the command center, where it appeared as though a large group had already gathered. The Resistance's most elite commanders were already there, whispering among one another. Apparently, they had all be summoned for this as well. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the bearded façade of her twin brother. Luke remained as reclusive as ever, but this was important. Despite his years of exile, her brother still had one of the sharpest minds in the galaxy. The Resistance was lucky to have found him; they would need him and his strategy.

"We've finally been able to de-encrypt the data," Poe began loudly, his booming voice silencing the remaining side conversations in the room. "It was heavily protected. Obviously this was not something that the First Order wanted us to see."

"Perhaps if they did not want us to see it, they would not have put this information in the hands of someone so easily overcome," A booming voice from an admiral Leia barely recognized called out. Others turned to look at the source of the voice, "Don't be too trusting of the information, laddie. It very well may be another trap."

There were a few murmurs in the crowd, some of which were in agreement with the admiral. Leia shifted uncomfortably where she stood. They had been quick to trust other reconnaissance information that resulted in Rey being captured by the First Order. Everyone in the Resistance was well aware of that particular blunder, and were quick to remind Leia of it any chance that she got.

"The information here has to be taken seriously," Poe replied, his voice overpowering the murmurs of the officers in the room, "The date highlights a specific plan to rebuild the First Order headquarters, along with many long range weapons."

"Where do they plan to do this?" Leia asked, ignoring the many eyes that fell on her.

"Coruscant,"

At Poe's words, the entire room erupted into a frenzied uproar. Leia felt her heart sink in her chest – Coruscant had once been one of the rotating capitols of the New Republic. During a meeting of newly elected senators, the First Order had attacked the planet, leaving it virtually unlivable. If the First Order took hold on the planet, it would be a symbolic blow to the Resistance. Strategically, it would not bode well for the freedom fighters either.

"If they take Coruscant," Finn interjected, "Their main base of operations would no longer be along the Outer Rim. It would take the fight right to the Core of the galaxy."

"Virtually no place would be safe," Captain Ludlow interjected.

"What is the plan?" Another voice from the crowd asked.

Leia stole a look at her brother, who stood quietly in the corner. A shadow was cast over half his face, giving him a severely ominous look. He did not seem to react to the information presented at all. At that moment, she had wished that she continued with the minimal Force training she had, so that she could reach into her brother's mind and sense exactly what he was thinking in that precise moment.

"How do we know that this information is true?" The boisterous, red faced admiral from before interjected, "How do we know that this information was not planted, and we are not walking right into another trap?"

"We do not know," Leia spoke up again, turning to the crowd that stood before her. "But this information is far too important for us to hesitate about. The First Order has always stayed far away from the Core worlds. But by having a presence in the center of the galaxy, they will be inescapable. They can extend their reach ever farther than they have already."

Some of her most trusted supporters nodded their agreement at Leia's words.

"The files suggest that they have already begun to build up their bases on Coruscant," Finn continued to explain. "Along with a headquarters, complete with ample living space for officers, their seems to be plans to reconstruct an old Sith temple that had been destroyed in the initial attack on the city, and another large scale weapon."

Leia could feel her heart sink as she heard the plans. When would this war ever end for her?

Finn continued, pressing buttons on the computer in front of him. A large holographic map of the planet appeared before them, with green dots highlighting specific regions. "The main areas of armament build-up are shown here. As you can see, they are quite a large distance from one another. It would take hours to fly from one region to another,"

"We hit them simultaneously." A voice from the back spoke up. Leia turned to see her brother as he moved out from the shadows. For the briefest of moments, she could see a look of excitement at the prospect of adventure on his aged face. The same look that he had when she had first met him. "We have five separate teams, and we hit our targets at the exact same moment. We maintain the element of surprise, and they will not see it coming."

There seemed to be a murmuring of assent as the other officers in the room considered Luke Skywalker's plan. It appeared as though a majority of the command were in agreement that this was the best course of action to take. Leia smiled at her brother from across the room. As Poe and Finn began to draw up plans with their superiors, Leia made her way over to Luke. "Thank you for the help, Luke. It will be the safest way for our pilots to carry out an attack on the planet. If all goes well, a majority of them will make it home."

Luke nodded. Leia could see that her twin was deep in thought. He stared deeply at the hologram that was still projected up in the middle of the room. Once again, Leia found that she would have given anything to read his mind. He waited a few prolonged moments before adding, "I will be accompanying a team,"

Leia's eyes went wide at his revelation, "Are you sure that is wise? Snoke had been looking for you for just as long as we have. If something happens to you –"

Leia shook her head. She had lost her son. She had lost Han. She could not lose her brother too.

"Ben and Rey are on their way there now," Luke replied quietly, "I can sense it."

Leia felt her blood turn to ice in her veins. "You're sure, Luke?"

He only nodded.

"Then you go," Leia replied, her voice firm and resolute. The worry for her brother was still there, but she had been overcome by something else. Something fierce that she could not quite put her finger on, "You go, Luke, and you bring him back to me."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Ah! There we go! Another chapter bites the dust. Please let me know what you think of this!


	16. Separate and Together

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Hello everyone. I am terribly terribly sorry for the lack of updates. I guess I had better let you all know what is currently going on in my life. As many of you know, I am a teacher. But I am employed as a full year leave replacement, which means I was replacing someone on maternity leave. However, that person is not coming back, so I had to reapply for the position (in hopes of being employed as a tenure track teacher). Unfortunately, I did not get the position and have been in somewhat of an anxiety driven funk lately. So, on top of finishing out the year (lesson planning/grading) I must also find a job for next year. If you know anything about the teacher's job market in the United States, things aren't really looking good. So, sadly, all my time and energy must be funneled into that.

But I still love this story. It is one of my only stress reliefs that I really have at the moment. And so, I want everyone to know that I am going to continue with it. Updates will not be as frequent (and therefore there will be no update schedule), but I have not given up on it at all. And with that, I want to thank everyone who has taken their time to review this story: LemonzMeringue, Onlybelieve, firerosedreamer67, Guest, Guest, TheKatieBugg, Lily Atelier, WaspInterprizes, Megumisakura, Desna99, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusfan, Projektrevolution20, Perry Downing, Starry-Eyed Bex, Arkytior's Song, LooernaLightlyn, ArtGirlie815, DoctorHiddles14, and VivaStory.

Starry-Eyed Bex – I am glad you picked up on him calling him Anakin. For me, at least, I do not think that Ren differentiates between the two (I have seen so many people refer to Anakin when they are speaking of him prior to going to the Dark Side). But I feel as though Ren would view Anakin as Darth Vader (there is no need to separate the two of them, because he was ALL Dark, in this warped view).

WaspInterprizes – I know the general trajectory of this story. However, I do not plan out exactly how many chapters there are going to be. Otherwise, I feel that it confines me. But it will definitely be more than 20!

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen: Separate and Together**

Finn was _exhausted._

For the past month, he had been working tirelessly trying to find any information on Rey's whereabouts. Reconnaissance pilots had lost track of the giant starship that she was believed to be held captive on. Other members of the Resistance shook their head sadly at him, telling him to wait until they had the upper hand. Then they would resume the search and rescue of the young Jedi padawan. They had all but given up on her, Finn could tell.

But not Finn. Every moment of his free time was spent scouring information logs for any hint of her. He accompanied his friend, Poe Dameron, back to the planet of Takodana. While the renowned pilot was searching for the scavenger in possession of the holodisk, Finn scoured the area for other degenerates and First Order members for any information on Rey. His friend had been successful in his mission, but Finn turned up empty handed on his own. Wherever Rey was, the First Order seemed determined to keep her location a secret.

When he had offered to sift through the encrypted data found on the holodisk that was retrieved on Takodana, he had been hoping to find any information that would help him to find Rey. He spent hours and hours looking through the information until his eyes were heavy and hurting from the light. He was disappointed that the holodisk contained no information on his friend. But he had been useful to the Resistance, finding information that could lead to a decisive victory over the First Order, the first in a very long time.

Finn had been one of the first to volunteer for the mission to Coruscant. As soon as the decision had been made to attack the planet, he began formulating a plan of his own. He was not going to Coruscant because of any sentiment to the Resistance. Of course, he had committed to the cause that the Resistance stood for. He wanted to take down the First Order more than anyone else. But he had an alternative plan. The information on the holodisk stated that high ranking members of the First Order were to oversee the construction of the new dark capital of Coruscant. If there was any chance that Kylo Ren was on the planet, then maybe… just maybe… Rey would be there too.

* * *

The persistent hum of the small fighter ship that carried them to Coruscant was enough to drive Rey crazy. She knew that she should not have been so completely agitated by the noise; she had spent plenty of time on the Millennium Falcon. She knew that any sort of spacecraft would never be completely silent. Especially one as small as the ship her and Kylo Ren were currently occupying. She was able to ignore it easily enough on the destroyer they had previously occupied, it was so large that the special disturbances could barely be heard. But now, it was enough to drive her up the wall.

The walls of the ship they were too close together, leaving her with room to stretch her legs or practice her fighting skills. The incessant hum of the ship only grew louder with each passing day, with nothing to drown it out. She spent her days in an endless cycle of standing up, walking to the other end of the ship, and walking back aimlessly. She was confined in too small a space for far too much time. She was beginning to feel like she had at the very beginning of her captivity. Stifled. She had to do something, to be able to stretch her legs or exercise.

"Practice your meditation," Kylo Ren instructed, as he checked pressure gauges on the control panel without so much as looking at his prisoner. He would not let Rey help in the navigation, despite knowing full well that she was a skilled pilot. He was contributing to her restlessness and boredom, and she made sure that he knew it full well. Rey watched on as the pilot finished what he was doing. After masterfully setting the autopilot, he turned out of the captain's chair and joined her where she sat.

"We shall do it together." His voice was rough as he explained further, "It seems that the last few times we have connected through the Force, we have been able to trigger some repressed memories. I am quite curious to know what else I seem to have forgotten."

Rey swallowed as the dark knight held out a gloved hand to hers, but she took it anyway. She always left these visions more confused than she was before she entered into them. She bit her bottom lip as Ren removed the glove from his hand. Once again, he took her hand in his. Ren stroked the back of Rey's hand with the pad of his thumb. Her throat dried out at the contact, and she could feel her heart pick up speed as it beat through her chest. Closing her eyes, she willed everything away. To be at perfect peace, she had to remove herself from her surroundings. But this time, it was not working. She was only becoming more aware of Kylo Ren's presence next to her. His heat was radiating off him, so much so that Rey could feel it instantly. She could hear his controlled breathing, loud enough to drown out the incessant hum of the spacecraft. Through the contact of their hands, she could feel _him._ She could feel his energy; the sensation was so intense Rey almost pulled away. But she could not; physically it felt as though Rey being held in place. Her heartbeat slowed significantly until it beat in perfect sync with his. She could feel his presence coursing through her veins; they were no longer two separate people, but one in the Force.

 _Immediately, Rey knew where she was. The Jedi training center on the planet that haunted her most repressed memories. But immediately, Rey knew that there was something wrong. Instead of the calm laughter of the young children, she was surrounded by blood curdling shrieks. Looking around, she could see debris everywhere. Smoke stacks were billowing in the distance. Overhead, menacing fighters were zipping past with terrifying speed. Somewhere, her mind registered a large explosion. Her brows furrowed, something was terribly wrong._

" _Ben!" She heard a familiar voice shriek throughout the chaos. It took her a moment, but she soon realized that the voice belonged to her. But it sounded slightly off, as if she were a young girl. Rey put her hand over her mouth in shock; she was not simply witnessing the chaos of the scene before her. She was no longer simply a fly on the wall in her own memories. She was witnessing everything from the mind of her younger self. Her eyes widened at the realization; what could have possibly triggered a strong flashback?_

 _Rey felt her feet move; she began running towards the site of the latest explosion. She knew it was a bad idea. Every instinct she had told her it would be better to take cover, to find a hiding spot until the bombing was over. But Rey had no control. She was not the captain of this ship; the younger version of herself was. She could feel her heart hammering as she accelerated her pace. The ground shook as a fighter aimed a missile only yards away from her. Instinct told Rey to run for cover, but she would not be deterred from her mission. Her throat was scratchy and hoarse as she called out again, "Ben! Where are you?"_

 _Tears were welling up in her eyes at this point. How could he have just left her there?_

" _You should be hiding away," A voice came from behind her. Rey turned around to see a dark masked figure walking steadily toward her. Fear bubbled up inside her stomach as she realized who it was. A small part of her wanted to run away; this was no longer her friend. But another part, an ever greater part, wanted to reach out towards the figure. "I told you to hide,"_

" _Ben!" She cried out, "Please, why are you doing this?"_

" _You weren't supposed to be here. They weren't supposed to see you. But now they'll try to kill you," His voice was mechanical through the mask, but Rey could sense the pain etched deeply in there. Fear radiated through every bone in her body. Was Ben Solo really going to try and kill her?_

" _Rey!" Another voice called to her. She whipped her head around to see Master Luke running towards her. "Rey, you must go now! Hide away until I can come for you and the others!" He grabbed her hand, forcibly moving her away from the only friend she had ever known._

" _Master Luke!" Rey cried out in protest as she was being pulled away from Ben, "I can't leave him. We have to help him." She could feel the tears flowing freely now, the younger version of herself doing little to stop them. Maybe if she went with him, she could convince him to stop. To turn this all around, and make things right._

" _Now, Rey." The voice of her master was stern. There was no mistaking the authority that boomed underneath the words._

 _But even as a young girl, Rey had been defiant. She looked back to the masked boy, her eyes pleading with him one last time. He reached out a gloved hand to hers, and Rey bit her lip. Amidst all the chaos of the moment, it felt as though the three of them were the only ones on the planet. She stared at the gloved hand for half a moment longer. Did she dare take it?_

 _Before she could make the decision, she began to feel strange. A hand was on her wrist, before carefully spinning her around. She looked Master Luke in the eye, but she could not seem to focus completely. He held her face in his hands as he held her gaze. The edges of her vision began to blur. And suddenly, she could feel what was happening. She could feel the memories leaving her mind, slowly disappearing as if they had never been there at all. Rey could feel the pain of her younger self trying to hold on to the last image of the young Ben Solo – but she could feel it slipping away until there was nothing left._

Rey surfaced from the vision the way that one would surface from the deepest stormy sea: gasping for air. Immediately, instinctively, she reached for the man in front of her. He took her in his arms, letting his hand stroke her lower back. It was only then that Rey realized that she was shaking. She closed her eyes, attempting to calm herself. _Peace. Peace._ She repeated the word over and over again in her head. But she found no peace.

What she found was anger.

Rey had not remembered the last time she truly felt this angry. When a young Menkab Omayor stole the generator she had scavenged on Jakku, she had been furious. She attacked the young man for cheating her out of seven full portions. But that did not even compare to the rage she currently felt at the Jedi master. How dare he presume to take the memories of her childhood from her? She had no recollection of the time that came before. The family she left behind, her only childhood friend.

"What right did he have?" She found herself asking the question aloud. But the man to the immediate right of her offered no answer. He continued to stroke the small of her back, a gesture that Rey found oddly comforting. Rey looked up into the unmasked eyes of Kylo Ren. In them, she could see the same mixture of anger and sadness that no doubt mirrored her own. The two of them were irrevocably linked; from both the trauma of their lost childhood to now. They were a part of one another, there was no denying that. Rey swallowed hard, realizing that somewhere in the shared memories and days spent together, that she had _accepted_ that connection. And right now, she needed it. It was in that realization, that Rey realized there was some innate and irrational part of her that wanted to reach her lips to his. And she was ready to do it, but she found all of her energy dissipate.

"Just sleep, Rey." Kylo Ren commanded softly. It was then that her eyelids suddenly felt so heavy that she could barely keep them open. She lacked the energy to fight Ren on it, and she quickly drifted off into a dreamless sleep in his arms.

* * *

Kylo Ren made Rey sleep for the remainder of the flight to Coruscant. He had been witness to the vision as well, from the perspective of his own teenage self. He had watched as Skywalker stole from Rey the memories of her formative years. As he had comforted the seething young woman, he realized that the vision explained so much. But, if the memories were veritable, it did not yet explain why _he_ could not remember their shared past. Luke Skywalker never had as much influence over him as he did Rey. It would have been much more difficult to erase his past.

Ren looked to the sleeping girl. In the middle of the night, he had picked her up and moved her to a much more comfortable position on her bunk. In her Force induced sleep, she did not stir from the change. He watched now as her chest rose and fell at an even pace, the calmest that he had seen her in a long time. Even in her sleep, he could still feel the anger radiating off of her. That was something that could not easily be hidden. It would take more than just a good sleep for that to dissipate.

 _Let that anger flow,_ he thought to himself. _Anger is a path to the Dark Side._

A high-pitched beeping from the pilot's console disturbed Ren from his thoughts and signaled that they were approaching their destination. Making his way to the captain's chair, he pressed the hailing button to alert forces on the planet to their arrival.

"Identify yourself." A muffled command echoed throughout the small ship.

"This is Kylo Ren piloting the _Javelin_ ," He responded evenly, the mask on his face masking his true voice. "On orders from Supreme Leader Snoke, we are requesting access to land."

At the mention of his name, the tone coming from the landing team immediately changed. "Right away, sir."

While waiting for the landing coordinates, Ren made his way to Rey's sleeping form. Although he was loathe to disturb the peace, he would need her to be alert once they arrived on the planet. Using the Force, he pulled her from her slumber. Underneath his mask, he frowned as her face creased in discomfort. But it was only temporary, as her eyes slowly fluttered open. She looked up at him, and for a moment her eyes did not register him. But as she recognized the mask, she slowly calmed.

"We have arrived," His mechanical voice informed her, "I need you to be prepared to land momentarily."

The hailing system beeped, signaling that the landing coordinates had been received. Ren made his way back to the bridge and prepared the ship for landing.

* * *

"Lord Ren," As Kylo Ren and Rey both exited the ship, they were immediately greeted by a host of First Order officials. To both his and Rey's relief, the landing had been uneventful. He did not know if his companion had the strength to deal with a turbulent landing. While Rey was no doubt strong, the peaceful landing was most welcome.

Ren looked at the officer who greeted him; the young lieutenant would not dare to try to meet the knight's gaze. Underneath the dark mask, Ren grinned. "Lieutenant, it has been a most tiring journey. My companion and I would like to be shown to our new quarters immediately. You and I will debrief in an hour."

Without a word of protest, the green lieutenant nodded shakily. "Right away, sir."

"Just a moment," A mechanical voice spoke out from the welcoming party. Military officials parted ways as a hooded and masked figure made their way to the front of the group. It was his second in command, Jaxus Ren, who spoke. It had been some time since Ren had contact with his knights, and Jaxus was leading in his stead. "We received word from Supreme Leader Snoke about your companion and the talents she possesses. We would be quite interested to meet her, Lord Ren."

Ren, who had always been hyper-aware of Rey's presence behind him, felt her stiffen at the mention. Keeping his voice level and authoritative, he waved his hand, "There will be plenty of time for that, Jaxus. As you are aware, we plan on remaining her for quite some time."

"Of course," Ren could hear the unspoken protest in his second's voice. It would have appeared that his second in company had forgotten his place within the ranks of his order. Ren made a note to see to it that Jaxus be _reminded_ of that place during his tenure on Coruscant. Without another word, Ren and Rey followed the shaking lieutenant through from the landing strip to the imposing military base.

Ren took in his surroundings, familiarizing himself with the high stone walls of the planet's fortress. It was massive, having been under construction for the past year and a half. Droids had to have been working tirelessly to finish construction in time to make it habitable for First Order officers.

The military base was so massive, it took the trio a full ten minutes to walk to their rooms. The lieutenant stopped in front of a pair of doors that were parallel to one another. "You-your rooms are here, sir. The biometric keys have already been upgraded into the system for both of you, so you will just have to touch the sensor."

Ren waved his hand, dismissing the lieutenant. With a hurried step, the officer was out of sight. Ren watched as Rey curiously put her hand to the sensor. The door to her quarters slid open, and Rey stepped inside. Ren followed suit, watching as Rey inspected the new rooms. It was minimalist, but much more luxurious than anything she could be used to.

"It's a lot bigger than the ones on the ship," Ren noted as Rey ran her fingers over the leather loveseat.

"You will have a lot more space here," Ren conceded. His eyes followed her around the room, watching as her lips curled up in a smile as she found the collection of books that he arranged to be brought to Coruscant.

"No Stormtroopers at the door this time around?" Rey asked, raising her eyes to him.

Ren sucked in a deep breath, "No, Rey. I do not want you to think of yourself as a prisoner anymore. You are my guest."

He watched as her mouth dropped slightly at his comment. But he did not wait for a response, "I must meet with some people to take care of business. There is much to do here, and little time to waste. I will leave you to settle in your new rooms; we will resume your training in the morning." Turning on his heels, he left Rey alone with her own thoughts.

 _I do not want you to think of yourself as a prisoner anymore. You are my guest._

Rey's stomach churned in disgust as Kylo Ren's words replayed over and over again in her head. But as much as she was loathe to admit it, there was some element of truth to his words. At some point during her captivity, she had stopped being a prisoner and started being an ally. She rubbed her temples, as the mere thought of it was causing her head to throb. She was the padawan of Luke Skywalker, not an apprentice to the Dark Side. How could she have let something like that happen? Her mind immediately went to the moments between her and Kylo Ren: the kisses shared, the electricity, and the memories. _The memories._ Kylo Ren had been the key to unlocking the hidden memories of the past. Memories that were only hidden _because_ of Luke Skywalker.

The pit in her stomach knotted even tighter. Luke Skywalker had deceived her from the day she first met him. Kylo Ren had been nothing but open and honest – he never pretended to be anything but dark. She knew exactly what she was getting with him. And what was more, she enjoyed the company of Kylo Ren. Her mind flashed to that last night on the journey to Coruscant. The way she leaned up against him, relying on him in her fit of anger. She could still smell his sweet scent of bergamot and leather when she closed her eyes.

Was this where she belonged now?

 _No,_ a small voice inside her protested. _You have your friends. Finn. Poe. Leia. BB-8. Find your way back to them._ From the knot in her stomach, Rey felt anger boiling up. She had been angry since that day in the training bay. It had only grown with each instance of hurt or betrayal: Luke Skywalker and herself. Her perpetual state of anger only confused her more.

* * *

"I am curious about your captive, Lord Ren." Jaxus Ren spoke plainly as the two of them walked through the armory. Ren wanted to inspect the weapons stock immediately. "While my conversations with the Supreme Leader have piqued my interest about her, I was hoping for more illumination on her abilities and progress. I am quite curious, you see."

"Her progress is a concern for only myself and Supreme Leader Snoke." Ren's tone was sharp enough to shut down any other desire for conversation.

"Of course, Lord Ren." Jaxus bowed his head in contrition. "I did not mean to overstep."

The two knights of Ren walked in silence for a moment, as Kylo Ren took in the details of the armory. Finally, he cleared his throat, "I am concerned about the fortifications of the buildings, Jaxus. If there are any attacks, at the present, it will be difficult for any of our men to defend the base. It is easily infiltrated."

For his part, the knight of Ren did not seem concerned at all. "The Resistance is weak, my lord. Even under the leadership of General Organa, they do not have the weapons or means to carry out a full scale attack on this base."

"I would not be so sure, Jaxus." Ren replied, after a moment's consideration, "If there is one thing I have learned, it is not to underestimate General Organa. And it should not be forgotten that the Resistance now has Skywalker on their side once more. I should like to see stronger fortifications built along the north side of the base, and more guard checkpoints around the perimeter."

"It will be done, Lord Ren."

With the casual wave of his hand, Ren dismissed his subordinate. Looking out at the base, he could not help but sense the slightest ripple in the Force. The shift was small, barely noticeable at this point in time. But the ripple was enough to make Kylo Ren feel uncomfortable: a ripple that would trigger the tsunami that would wash away everything. He did not know what it was, but something big was going to happen, and he was not certain he would like the outcome.

* * *

Author's Note: Well, there you go! Please tell me what you think - I can tell you, reviews and feedback will certainly help to get me out of this funk that I am in.


	17. Peace and War

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Hey everyone! Here were are at chapter seventeen! I cannot believe it – I think length wise, this was one of my longest stories yet. Not that any of my first fanfics are here anymore (I saved myself the embarrassment and deleted them.) But I really do love this story, and I have grown very much attached to it. This chapter is kind of short, and I apologize for that. But there is a lot going on towards the end of it and I wanted to break it up.

Also, who else is so excited for Rogue One?! First of all, seeing Diego Luna made me feel like a thirteen year old girl again. I fell in love with him when I first saw him in Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Needless to say, I would just go see it in order to see HIM. But the movie just looks so awesome and I cannot wait. Is it December yet?!

And thank you to all of my lovely reviewers. You are the ones who keep me going with this. You give me all the inspiration that I could ever need! And thank you to everyone who expressed condolences at the current situation I am in. While I haven't found a placement for next year, I am still looking and feeling much better about my prospects. Thank you TheKatieBugg, LovetheKlaroline, Guest, LiberLibelula, SuppaSTop, RhiannonoftheMoon13, DoctorHiddles14, Elisa, Akoto3725, desna99, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusFan, ForeverDelighted, Arktior's Song, megumisakura, projektrevolution20, and anonymous.

TheKatieBugg – You are going to get those answers regarding Ren's memories soon! Not this chapter, sadly. But pretty soon!

LovetheKlaroline – Thank you! I also love your pen name. Klaroline forever!

Guest – Thank you for your kind words! You are making me blush!

Akoto3725 – Thank you for reviewing these chapters! And I am glad that you were able to catch up here!

ForeverDelighted – The whole issue with Luke and the memories is a complicated one. And it is something that is going to be discussed in later chapters, and someone is going to have to explain themselves! And I am glad you liked the tender moment, there is going to be another one (although this one is slightly cheesier this time around).

* * *

 **Chapter Seventeen:** Peace and War

 _Bzzzz._ The sound of a loud and unyielding buzzer disturbed Rey from her dreamless sleep, her brown eyes fluttering open as she tried to make sense of the intruding sound. It took her a moment to register, but she could determine that the sound was coming from the door to her chamber, signaling that she had a visitor. Her brow furrowed. _Who would be coming to visit her at this hour?_ But as soon as the thought popped into her head, she realized that she could sense his presence. Kylo Ren had an aura about him, his distinct presence in the Force. She startled as she realized how attuned to his presence she had become over the course of the past few months.

As Rey walked from the bed to the door, she found herself fixing the stray hairs that had loosened from her signature three buns. And her cheeks grew hot as she wished that she had worn something a little nicer than an oversized tunic to sleep. But the buzzing was persistent, and she did not wish to keep Kylo Ren waiting any longer. She patted the last fly away down on her head as she pushed the button to let her guest in.

He was fully dressed; the familiar black suit and cloak that he always wore had not been altered in the slightest to fit the new climate of Coruscant. Rey had to wonder if he was comfortable in that. He was masked as well. While that once had bothered her, Rey had gotten used to the obstruction of his face. Of course, she preferred to look at _him_ and hear his real voice. But she no longer detested the mechanized voice or the disguise. They were just another side to her only – _friend_ – in the First Order.

Even through the mask, she could feel his eyes gazing over her. His mechanical voice mused, "You overslept."

Rey's cheeks burned as she turned and let him in. Silently, she found herself rummaging through the tiny rucksack she prepared for the journey. She had not yet found time to unpack her meager belongings. But she pulled out the familiar grey tunic and leggings, and moved into the washroom to change. She quickly fixed her hair, pulling it back into three neat buns. Before moving out of the washroom, she slyly checked her appearance in the mirror, hoping to erase any gnawing feelings of self-consciousness.

As she exited the washroom, she found a now unmasked Kylo Ren sitting at the meal table in the center of the room. A service droid was setting up elaborate plates of food for the two of them. His helmet was laying gracefully on the side of the table. "While you were freshening up, I took the liberty of ordering us breakfast. Would you do the honor of joining me?"

Rey could not help the snort that escaped her throat, "It doesn't appear as I have much of a choice in the matter."

Rey could sense something coming from Kylo Ren at that point. Through the Force, she could feel his disappointment at her rejection. But the man before he was well trained, his expression did not shift as she took a step closer to him.

"You do have a choice, Rey. But if you wish to be alone, I will leave you to break your fast in peace," Without the voice alteration, there was no masking the hint of disappointment in her captor's voice. It would appear hiding his emotions was perhaps more challenging that he let on. He made a move to stand up from his seated position, but Rey threw up her hands.

"No, I don't want you to leave." Even as the words escaped her mouth, she realized that she had been _too_ quick to ask him not to leave. Ren seemed to notice her urgency as well. For the briefest of moments, his lips curled upward into the smallest of smiles. But almost as soon as it appeared, it was gone.

Ren sat himself back own, using the Force to levitate some bread and berries on to his own plate. Rey rolled her eyes at the gesture. _Show off._ And yet,Rey followed suit, if only to show him that she, in fact, could do it as well.

Ren seemed to notice her showing off her skills, and gave a small nod of approval, "We will continue your training here on Coruscant. It would not do well to delay your training on account of our journey."

"Where will we train?" Rey asked, through bites of the delicious fruit in front of her. Even the food on this scorched planet was better than anything she had been used to in the past. As she nibbled on her breakfast, Rey felt a rush of nervous excitement at the prospect of training with Kylo Ren again. She had to admit that, under his tutelage, she was learning more and faster than she ever had before.

"There is an old Sith temple not far from here that will be suitable," Ren explained as he picked up his cub and brought it to his lips. Rey's eyebrows raised, a mixture of shock and confusion etched onto her face. She had heard about the Sith only briefly from Luke Skywalker, but she kne enough to know it was probably not the best idea. Ren must have noticed the concern on her face, because he put the cup down and looked her square in the eye, "The location's connection with the Force will only make you stronger."

Rey swallowed hard, considering his words. The idea of being so close to the power of the Dark Side sent chills down her spine, but she wanted to increase her power. She wanted to get stronger; it would be the only way she could help _defeat_ the Dark Side. And this was the only way in which she could do it. After a long moment of consideration, Rey nodded.

Kylo Ren's lips curled upward into a smile, "Very good. We begin this afternoon."

* * *

There was almost too much to take in as Kylo Ren and Rey sped through the remnants of the once great planet. Rey held on to the back of Kylo Ren as he navigated the city, allowing Rey to absorb the wonder that was Coruscant. Even the ruins of the old buildings looked grand; Rey could easily closer her eyes and imagine what the place must have been like in its prime. It was so different from the world that she knew, her beloved Jakku. She had never seen a true city before, and she was fascinated by it. She could not wait to see what it was like when the First Order restored the city and there would be people populating the urban landscape once more.

A pang of guilt hit her chest immediately as that thought came out.

 _No,_ she told herself, _you are not going to be here when this city is populated. You are going to be back with the Resistance. With Finn and Poe and BB-8._

Kylo Ren looked back at her at that point. Rey shifted uncomfortably in the speeder. Although his helmet masked his expression, Rey knew that he could sense the conflict within her through the Force. There was little that she could hide from him at this point. She was grateful that he said nothing, and turned back around to finish the journey.

It was only a few more moments before they reached their destination. Already, Rey could feel the Force pulling her in the direction of the temple. The two dismounted the speeder, and Rey was thankful to have her feet on solid ground once more. She frowned though, as she realized they were at the bottom level of the city. Most of the urban activity, from what she had seen, had taken place at levels high above ground.

Ren took Rey's hand in his as he navigated himself through the ruins. Rey was about to protest – that she could climb over rocks well enough on her own. But she did not say anything. A small part of her found comfort in his guidance. He led her to a stone stairwell, surrounded by fallen rubble from the skyscrapers above. But the temple itself remained untouched. He guided her carefully up the stairwell, and Rey felt the nervousness building. She could feel the raw power radiating from the temple. She was grateful that Kylo Ren was holding her hand, and she squeezed it even tighter for reassurance.

As they entered the temple, the power of the Force only grew stronger. Rey was entirely enveloped by it, and she could feel it flowing through her veins. Rey looked at the glorious statues and pillars that guided the two into the temple, marveling at the artwork.

It was _magnificent._

"You have trouble masking your emotions. Even now, I can sense your wonder at this place through the Force," Ren began, setting down the small pack the two of them had brought. "Not being able to mask your emotions gives your enemies a distinct advantage. You are going to want to keep them out of your head."

"I am able to do that," Rey frowned, looking at her new mentor. "I was able to keep you out," She could remember vividly her first meeting with Kylo Ren. She could recall all too well the feeling of the restraints as she tried to break free, and his attempted invasion into her mind.

"And yet you have not done so since," He countered, as he took a seat on the pristine temple floor. Rey followed suit. "Quite honestly, I have been able to get inside your head and read your emotions and memories without you even realizing it."

"I haven't felt the need to," Rey shrugged, "I am past the point of keeping secrets from you."

For a moment, there was silence between the two of them. Rey swallowed, wondering if her confession had been too much. But Kylo Ren did not say anything on the subject. Instead, his mechanical voice boomed, "I am going to try and enter your mind. I want you to keep me out."

Rey nodded, and followed his instructions. She pictured a wall around her mind, with high barricades to keep him out. Soon enough, she felt Kylo Ren pushing against that barricade and trying to get into her mind. The intrusions were weak at first, and easily pushed away. But soon enough he began to be more forceful in entering her mind. Rey's brows creased; it was taking a lot more effort and concentration to keep him out of her mind. She could feel her heart hammering, her pulse quickening with the increased mental activity. She had to do something. She pushed him out of her mind, with more force than she had ever exerted before.

But in doing so, Rey could feel an odd sensation. One that she had felt only one time before. Now, she was surrounded by Kylo Ren, his presence. _She was inside of his head now._ She could feel him pushing, trying to get her out of there. But she was resisting as she navigated his thoughts. She could sense a frayed connection to his mother, General Organa. Frayed, but still there. She could sense doubt regarding some First Order policies. But she startled as she realized that many of his thoughts centered on her. _Protectiveness. Uncertainty. Admiration. Affection._

It was then that she felt him force her out of his head.

Through the helmet, Ren was gasping for air. With shaky hands, Rey reached up to his helmet and unfastened the clasps. Slowly, she took the helmet off of him and gave him a long look. He was still struggling to regain his breath, and beads of sweat formed on his brow. Instinctively, Rey took his hands in hers, carefully removing the gloves from his hand. She could still sense his hammering heart as she held his hands. She was uncertain if her plan would work, but she had to try. Carefully, she began to calm herself down. _There is peace._ She repeated the words of the Jedi code over in her head as she began to feel her own heart rate slow. The meditation technique helped her to calm down in the past.

She looked across to Kylo Ren, to see how he was faring during the joint meditation. His breathing was still shaky, and yet much calmer than before. _There is serenity._

"That is a load of tauntaun shit." Kylo Ren's words broke her meditation, as he mocked the Jedi code. " _There is no passion, there is serenity._ Passion is a part of life, and the Jedi are morons for denying it. _"_

Before Rey could protest his words, his lips crashed on to hers. For the briefest of moments, Rey considered pushing him off of her and knocking some sense into him. But she quickly realized that she did not want to. Her lips responded to his in kind, as she matched his passion with her own. She ran her hands through his dark hair, relishing the feel of skin-on-skin contact. That only seemed to drive his desire even more. As he moved his hands over her, there was a renewed sense of urgency. He needed her, and she needed him. He cupped her face in his hands as their lips collided for the second time. His tongue glided along the roof of her mouth, only fueling more desire in her. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Rey knew that this was wrong. But she found herself indifferent to right and wrong anymore. All that matter to her was what we wanted. And right now, this was undoubtedly what she wanted.

 _Kylo Ren_ was undoubtedly what she wanted.

* * *

The next few days passed by in a blur for Kylo Ren. After having arrived on Coruscant, he was kept busy with preparations for repairing the planet and making it habitable as a First Order based. It seemed as though the list of tasks to complete only grew day by day. There was still so much to do in order to remain on schedule in the restoration of the planet. He was being pushed and pulled in what felt like thousands of different directions, when there was only one place he truly wanted to be. He refused to let anyone or anything intrude upon his time with Rey. Although no one dared to question the master off the Knights of Ren, he repeatedly pointed out that he was acting under the orders of Supreme Leader Snoke in training her.

Instead of eating dinner with his fellow knights, he took his meals in Rey's apartment. Since their initial _tryst_ in the Sith temple, the two of them were loathed to be away from one another. They had fallen into a comfortable routine after that first day, something that Ren had not experienced in a long time. Ren had even considered asking Rey to accompany him on his duties. Not only would it show other members that the Supreme Leader's plan to convert the Force sensitive woman was working, but he would not have to spend so much time away from her. He did not think she would yet be comfortable with being so intimate with the inner workings of the First Order, so he kept his plan to himself.

At the moment, Ren watched on as Rey inhaled the contents of her dinner plate. It had been a rough day training, as she exercised both her physical and mental capacities. Ren was immensely proud of her progress, knowing that he was the one helping her and not the traitorous Luke Skywalker. The thought of his former mentor was enough to make Ren swell with rage. The man who had stolen both his and Rey's memories – what Ren would do if he could get his hands on him.

Ren felt Rey's gaze locked on to his. He looked downward at the food in front of him as he realized he had been projecting his anger, and no doubt Rey had felt it. The silence in the room was palpable as he desperately tried to find a way to change the subject. But Rey was the one to beat him to it, "I get angry at him too. Actually, there is never a time when I am not angry with him."

Ren opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Rey continued as she placed her gentle hand on his, "But we both found out the truth together, and that is what matters."

"Yes," He nodded his head, as he raised his own glass of Nabooian blossom wine. "Together."

Rey smiled from across the small table and raised her own glass to mimic him, "Together."

Luke Skywalker had long ago sensed that Rey had begun to feel conflicted in her allegiance. Despite the distance, he maintained that connection with his young Padawan. While he was unable to see what she was doing across the galaxy, he had been able to sense what she was feeling, when she was in danger and when she was safe. He could sense her presence, and her own balance in the Force. But now, as the rescue attempt was finally upon them, he found that he could not reach out to her across the galaxy. She was hidden from him, or her presence was no longer recognizable. There was something terribly wrong with that, and Luke would not rest until he knew what it was. He would not fail his young Padawan like he failed Ben Solo. And so, he had volunteered to be on the team that to infiltrate the main base of operations on Coruscant.

The starship was in a frenzy as pilots made last minute arrangements or alterations to their plans. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the young Finn and Poe Dameron gesturing wildly as they geared up for the attack. They would be flying under Luke's command, as they were just as desperate to rescue their lost friend. The former Stormtrooper would not hear of flying under any other operation.

Instead of joining the young cohort of pilots as they rallied together, Luke had sat alone in meditation. His mind absolutely had to be clear if he was going to be successful in finishing this mission. He called on Master Yoda, Ben Kenobi, and his own father to guide him through the Force and help him with his mission. He could feel their presence surrounding him now; they would be with him until the end. As he broke from his meditation, he felt at peace with the task that lay before him. Now, with his mind clear, he was ready to embark.

As if by the will of the Force, the siren signaling for pilots to ready themselves sounded throughout the hanger. Immediately, the frenzy intensified, as everyone was hurriedly rushing to their stations. Luke walked over to his own fighter, readying himself.

"As soon as we get into Coruscant's atmosphere, their sensors will be able to detect us. We are going to have to move as quickly as possible." Luke commanded, his voice picked up by the speakers and ringing into the communications system of every pilot on his team. "Our orders are to land on the Alpha Base, and infiltrate."

"Yes, sir!" A chorus of replies came from the men under his command as the door to the hanger opened.

And with that, they were off.

* * *

"You have TIE coming in on your right," Luke called to Finn through the com system as the team was preparing for their landing on Coruscant. Even with the simultaneous attack, there was no way for the Resistance to go and be entirely undetected. Finn shakily veered left at Luke's command; his piloting skills were not as refined as Poe's were, despite the time he spent training for this mission. But his rudimentary skills proved to be enough; the incoming missile had missed him entirely. Instead, it had hit a nearby building, causing a cascading tower of smoke to billow into the air. Dozens of Resistance ships were flying into the smoke, and Finn followed his captain straight into the explosions, using the smoke as a cover for their landing.

Finn pulled brought the nose of his spacecraft down, diving onto the landing strip. At the last minute, he pulled himself upward. The landing wheels of the bottom of the X-Wing skidded along the ground, screeching as he attempted to stop. With a hard thud, the X-Wing hit the ground. Immediately, Finn pulled the safety restraints off of himself and jumped out of his ship. He pulled out his blaster, ready to aim at enemies who charged at him.

He looked to find his companions. Luke and Poe had already landed and were running towards the entrance to the hanger. Finn sprinted in an effort to keep up with the two of them. From the corner of his eye, Finn could see an energy bolt from a blaster fly straight past his head. He could feel the heat from the missile on his skin. His eyes widened and his pace quickened as he realized that it had been aimed at him. He picked up his pace, dodging the incoming rain of blaster shots.

The entrance to the hanger was in sight; if he could just reach it then he would have cover from the incessant attacks. His feet moved with a life of their own; he had run faster than he ever had before. As Finn, Poe, and Luke made their way inside, they collectively breathed a sigh of relief. The hanger was noticeably empty. All troops must have been ordered into the air to defend the planet against the Resistance fighters.

"Remember," Luke told the two, as they all struggled to catch their breath, "Our mission here is to destroy the base, and to find Rey and bring her back with us. I've already commanded the others to shut down security and find a way to bring this place down. It's our job here to find Rey."

Finn nodded enthusiastically; this had been his goal all along.

"It would be better if the three of us split up," Poe added, "I'll take the Northwest corridor, Finn you should take the Southwest."

Luke nodded, "And I will take the rest. Keep your com links on so that we can stay in contact. We are not leaving until we find her."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Well there you go! So I tried to get this as PG-13 as possible since I do not want to bump this up to an M rating (a lot of my earlier readers begged me not to). But let's just say that interaction between Kylo and Rey in the Sith temple is up to your own interpretation... ;)**


	18. Captured and Rescued

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Wow! So I heard from a kind reviewer that there were some people recommending this fic on Tumblr. And of course, I had to check out what people were saying about this story there as well. So I have to say, this chapter was put out so quickly thanks to all of the awesome people who read and review this story! Seriously, knowing how you all feel about it really inspires me to write more. So please continue to let me know what you think!

That being said, I also created a Tumblr page for this story! I've been reblogging some Reylo GIFs and headcannons already, so I decided to make something to go along with this fic. I'll also be posting some chapter previews in between updates there as well. You can follow me at reylotrashblr. tumblr

As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed chapter seventeen! Like I said, your reactions and reviews are what inspired me to put this out so quickly. Thank you noahsark1, Guest, Akoto3725, Guest, TheKatieBugg, myhartisonriar, and firerosedreamer67.

Myhartisonfriar – Thank you for letting me know about the Reylo community Tumblr! I hope you are all caught up on this fic now too!

TheKatieBugg – I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! I actually have notes on three different ways that this chapter could have gone. I had so many ideas in my head, but this one ended up fitting the best with my plan for the rest of the story.

Akoto3725 – I'm conflicted over Luke too! I have actually written him to the point where I dislike his character. I'm going to have to rewatch all of the original trilogy in order to start liking Luke again. But I can't wait to see what they do with him in the actual film!

* * *

 **Chapter Eighteen: Captured and Rescued**

Kylo Ren had never been this comfortable in his entire existence. His whole life was dedicated to his own quest for power – his own desire to be just as great as his grandfather had been. But, the realization that he had made as he was lying in bed, Rey's sleeping form huddled into his bare chest, was something of a shock to him. He had never been one to seek comfort, or happiness. He had always believed that those emotions were for the weak, people who did not know how to control themselves. But, he looked at the woman who was lying asleep next to him, and he knew immediately that he had been wrong. Absentmindedly, he pushed a piece of hair away from her face. The gesture was enough to make her slightly stir, as she huddled a little closer to his body.

That evening was the first time that Rey had asked him to stay after their meals together. Kylo Ren had been hesitant at first. Despite their developing intimacy, sharing a bed was almost too intimate for his own taste. Sleeping next to someone, and trusting them enough in that unguarded moment, was not something that ever crossed his mind. But with Rey, things were different. The two of them were connected by more than just mutual attraction and desire. And so, he had stayed as Rey fell asleep in his arms. And with every rise and fall of her chest, Kylo Ren felt more and more at peace. In all of his life, he had no idea that he could feel so happy.

In almost a rude awakening, Ren's mind wandered over to the thought of his own parents. Had they ever been that happy? The memories from his time spent with Han Solo and Leia Organa were very much faded, as he had been sent to train with Luke Skywalker at a very young age. But he could remember the bickering - his mother calling Han Solo a scruffy-looking nerfherder. Or his father, using sarcastic titles when Leia was on his last nerve. But he could also recall the tender moments – in which his father had brought home Tarisian roses for his mother, or when they had danced in the halls when they thought their son was asleep.

Ren's chest sank; despite their fighting, his parents had truly been in love. The source of the discord between them was caused by their son, Ben. And now, Han Solo was dead – unable to make things right with the woman that he loved. Ren thought of Leia then, of what she must have been going through in the past few months. She had lost her son all those years ago. She now had to cope with the fact that her lover had been killed by her own son's hands.

He tried to push the thought out of his head – guilt was an unbecoming emotion for such a high ranking member of the First Order. Instead, he put all of his concentration on the beautiful young woman before him.

It was then that he felt it, a small ripple in the Force that was growing into a large wave of energy. His stomach sank even further as he realized that everything was about to come crashing down on the two of them and the fleeting happiness that they had found within each other. He could not place his finger on it just yet, but he knew that there was something terribly wrong. And Kylo Ren was going to have to do everything within his power to prevent whatever this was from coming in between him and Rey.

Slowly, as not to disturb the still sleeping Rey, Ren reluctantly detangled himself from her embrace. He rubbed the pad of his thumb against her cheek one last time, uncertain of what would happen the next time that they met. Quietly, he began to pull his own clothing over his head. He would get to the bottom of this disturbance, and he would put a stop to it.

It was then, suddenly, that an overwhelming sense of dread washed over him, accompanied by a distinct aura. Luke Skywalker was on Coruscant, approaching the base at an alarming rate. Kylo Ren hurried his pace, feeling a renewed sense of urgency and purpose. The steady anger that he always felt towards Luke Skywalker was boiling over. There was no doubt in his mind that the Jedi was there to come between him and Rey, as he had done all of those years ago.

A soft ruffle came from the bed, and Ren looked over to see that Rey had woken up. She was in a sitting position, the white sheets still draped over her for warmth. Her hair, usually in its signature three buns, was cascading down her shoulders, wonderfully tousled from a good night's sleep. Her eyes narrowed, having registered what Ren was doing, "Where are you going?"

Ren opened his mouth to speak, but found that no words would come out. His head swam with all the possible ways in which he could tell her. Did he dare tell her the truth? Would it have been better off to lie to her? No, she would already know there was something wrong. While he did not know exactly what she could sense, she was skilled with the Force – she would be able to sense the disturbance. Ren swallowed the lump that had somehow formed at the back of his throat. Sitting down at the edge of the bed, he took her soft small hands in his. Rubbing the pad of his thumb over her knuckles, he stared her straight in the eyes.

He would do anything to keep from losing her.

"Please, Rey," He began, "The base is under attack –"

Rey's mouth went gaped at the explanation. Her eyes lit up with excitement as she asked, "Attack? Is it the Resistance?"

Ren swallowed hard, unsure of what he should say next. If he commanded her to stay in the room, locked away from the ensuing fight, her stubbornness would take over and she would defy him. If he told her the truth, there would be nothing preventing her from running back to the Resistance. He ran his fingers through his dark hair in frustration, before turning back to the woman before him, "Please, Rey. Do this for me; stay here, away from all of the fighting."

In that moment, Kylo Ren felt smaller than he ever had before. For the majority of his life, people had begged him for their lives, to spare them. And now, the tables had turned. He looked to Rey, begging her to spare him the pain of having to say goodbye. He was vulnerable, in the worst way possible. But it did not matter. All that he wanted was for her to remain in her rooms, remain with him…

Rey must have sensed his desperation through the Force, knowing that he was fearful of her leaving this room. She nodded once, without saying anything to him. It was as if the weight of the entire galaxy had been lifted off of his shoulders. He brought Rey into his arms, enveloping her into a tight embrace. His lips collided with hers, driven by the urgency of their situation. Despite her growing confusion, she returned the kiss. It was only with great restraint that Kylo Ren pulled away. He pressed his lips to her forehead, before whispering in her ear, "I will come back for you."

Before he could be tempted to hide away with her, Ren wrenched himself away from her last embrace. Willing himself not to look back at Rey, he fastened his helmet and made his way out of the room and into the ensuing fray.

Outside of the apartment paradise that Rey and Ren had created for themselves was absolute chaos. In every direction, storm troopers were hurrying past to get to their commanded battle stations. Kylo Ren paid them no mind; whether Captain Phasma's mindless conforming puppets were safe and accounted for was none of his concern. Instead, he focused all of his energy on Luke Skywalker. Closing his eyes, he used the Force to locate his former mentor.

He was in the Eastern Corridor.

Immediately, Ren charged in that direction. His breathing began to pick up, as he realized the gravity of the situation he was in. The First Order's priority was finding Luke Skywalker and destroying the last remaining Jedi. Ren was so close to accomplishing that goal, he could almost taste it. He thought of Supreme Leader Snoke, the glory the dark lord would bestow upon his apprentice for completing his task. He thought of Hux, who would snivel as his rival was elevated to the highest of ranks. And he thought of Rey – what would she think when Ren finally defeated the man who viciously stole her childhood from her?

But he was unable to devise an answer to that question. He became suddenly overwhelmed with the presence of Luke Skywalker. _He is here._ Immediately, Ren drew his lightsaber from its sheath on his utility belt. In his hand, he could feel the pulsing of the weapon's cracked Kyber crystal. It was oddly calming, in spite of the presence of the former Jedi that surrounded him.

That was right behind him.

"Luke Skywalker, we finally meet," Ren greeted his former as he turned around. Ren startled as he took in the sight of his former master. The man's aged appearance was not what he expected to see in front of him. While he knew it had been years since he had last seen his uncle, he would not have expected the man before him to look so _tired._ So exhausted from the fight between Light and Dark. In fact, had it not been for the blue lightsaber at his side, Ren would not have recognized him.

Skywalker took a step closer to Ren, who held his place firmly. The lightsaber vibrated in his hand, ready to be used at a moment's notice. But the old man made no moves to attack. Instead, the old man calmly asked, "Where is she, Ben?"

"Ben Solo is dead," Ren countered, refusing to acknowledge his question. Although he always known it to be true, hearing the confirmation that his former master was there to reclaim Rey made him feel ill. "He died long ago,"

"You and I both know that is not true," Skywalker took another few steps towards Kylo Ren. With his free hand, Skywalker reached out to Kylo Ren, "Take me to Rey, and we can all go home. Together."

 _We can all go home._

 _Together._

Even through the helmet, Ren audibly scoffed, "What makes you think that she even wants to go back with you?" Before Skywalker could respond, Ren charged at him. He drove the lightsaber straight at his former master. But the old man was quick to deflect, bringing his own lightsaber up to meet Ren's. Blue and red clashed together magnificently as sparks flew from the contact.

It was Skywalker who broke the contact first, as he spun around and brought his lightsaber with him. Ren countered the move, bringing his own weapon down on Skywalker fast. But the Jedi was too quick, and Ren felt himself go flying across the room. His lightsaber flew from his hands, leaving him defenseless. Anger boiled over him now; no one had dared to use such power on him in years. And he would be damned if he let Skywalker be the one to beat him. Ren immediately got up to his feet. He held out his hand, calling his weapon back to him. It flew into his hands with such force, igniting immediately.

"She is better off here, with me," Ren seethed, as he charged at the Jedi. He brought his weapon up, attempting to slash Skywalker across the face. But the old man raised his weapon; the masked Ren paused his attack just mere inches from the face of his old master. He was so close he could see the beads of sweat pooling on the old man's face. "She has learned so much – the way of the Dark Side."

But Skywalker did not respond to Ren's taunting. The old man merely moved away from Ren, pulling back on his attack. Ren mused, "If you want to leave this fight and find the girl, Skywalker, you are going to have to kill me,"

"No, Ben." The old man replied calmly, as he skillfully dodged another blow, "I am not going to hurt you."

Anger was boiling inside of Kylo Ren now. As always, Luke Skywalker was idealizing the situation, attempting to bring back the long dead Ben Solo. But that would never happen. If Skywalker wanted to find Rey, he would have to kill Ren. Ren swung again, this time striking the metal door to the side of Skywalker. He let out a cry of frustration; even though years had passed, the old man was still much faster than Ren. Dealing another blow to the Jedi, Ren swung his lightsaber directly at his chest. But the old man parried the blow with skill, this time kicking Ren away.

Ren found himself flying once more through the air, this time crashing against the wall. He felt his shoulder pop on contact with the metal barrier; it took all of his training not to cry out in pain. Channeling all of his dark power, Ren summoned strength to bring himself back to his feet. He scanned the situation around him, taking in the environment with which he was fighting. As he scanned the corridors, he noticed that there was one thing missing.

Luke Skywalker had disappeared.

* * *

Poe Dameron lived for search and rescue missions. As the Resistance's best pilot, he often found himself in tricky situations that called for thinking on his feet. He lived for the excitement, the thrill of the chase. He was in his element when he found himself maneuvering out of trouble by the skin of his teeth. But, his current mission, helping to find the captured Rey, was something else entirely.

The Resistance was under strict orders to destroy all military bases on Coruscant. General Organa wanted Rey brought back safely, there was no doubt about that. But the first priority was to ensure that the First Order could not establish a base of operations on the planet. The current building that they were in would be detonated by other Resistance forces, whether or not Rey had been found safely. They were under a strict time crunch, and Poe certainly felt the heat.

His heart was hammering in his chest as he made his way around the next bend in the northwest corridor, his blaster out and ready to fire as he kept his back firmly pressed against the wall. Storm troopers were crawling all over the place, and it was a miracle that he made it this far undetected. As silently as possible, Poe made his way from door to door. Using the security override codes from the stolen data, Poe searched room by room for his friend. It was then that he heard the distinctive shuffle of storm trooper boots on the ground. Cursing inwardly to himself, he ducked into the shadow cast by a large enclave. With his back to the wall, he knelt on the ground as he tried to hold his breath. Everyone was on high alert, and storm troopers were no doubt looking for intruders.

It was then that the silver lining of the door caught his attention. Hidden in the enclave was a rather large door, hidden from the sight of the main hallway. As the last of the storm troopers passed, Poe Dameron brought himself to his feet and made his way across the small enclave and to the door. He quickly punched in 1-7-9-2 – the security override code. Silently, the door opened and Poe ducked in, his blaster out and ready to fire at a moment's notice.

Poe startled at what he saw. It appeared to be a security room, with computers projecting images from all over the base. A grin broke out on his face; he was now the eyes and ears of the operation. He would be able to find Rey, and get his friends off of the base before it was permanently destroyed. He made his way to the main computer, prepared to start searching for wherever the First Order was keeping Rey prisoner.

"I would not do that if I were you," A cold female voice commanded from the corner of the room. Poe whirled around, his blaster still out. From the shadows emerged a storm trooper in silver and red armor. Poe recognized the captain of the storm troopers immediately. He swallowed hard; Finn had relayed the ruthlessness of Captain Phasma to the Resistance.

And now he was face to face with her.

She moved with lightning speed as she raised her own blaster and fired the first shot. Poe Dameron ducked out of the way, immediately returning fire. But the captain was too quick, even in the heavy armor she wore. Poe cursed; he was usually such a good shot. He did not have time to think as the next bolt of energy came firing at him; he ducked under the control panel on pure instinct. He attempted to fire back, but he could not get a clear shot of Phasma. His own shot had ricocheted off the wall, causing the exposed air pipes to break.

 _Finally,_ he thought to himself, _something I can work with._

He fired another shot at Phasma, this time only just missing her helmet. The captain ducked in reaction to the blast, and Poe used her momentary distraction to make his move. Sprinting towards the wall, he ripped the remaining pipe off of the wall. As Phasma struggled to regain her footing after being shot at, Poe took his left foot and brought it straight into the captain's back. She went collapsed forward onto her stomach. While she was struggling to bring herself up, Poe brought the metal pipe above his shoulder and swung it. Her helmet and the pipe viciously collided with a loud, metal _clang._

Poe dropped the pipe, convinced he no longer needed it.

She was no longer moving.

* * *

Rey was positively _itching_ to know what was going on outside of the four walls she was confined in. From outside of the base, she could hear the spacecraft flying overhead. There was something going on, and Rey had to know what exactly it was. She paced her rooms as her mind raced through the best possible course of action.

 _You made a promise._

Rey chewed the bottom of her lip as she considered her exchange with her lover earlier that day. She had made a promise to Kylo Ren, assuring him that she would stay in the apartments. The look of desperation on his face, of _need_ , was what convinced her to agree to such an arrangement. She could sense that he had been terrified that something would happen to her. And yet, she could not put her finger on exactly was causing such a terror. Surely, it could not have been the Resistance. There was no way they could have known about the base on Coruscant. She focused all of her energy on the Force, on Kylo Ren, trying to sense what he was doing and why he had been so frightened. But it was no use, there was too much energy at the moment. All around her, the Force was vibrating. There was something big happening on Coruscant, and Rey wanted to be a part of it.

Rey sighed as she stared at the closed door in front of her. She walked up to it, putting her hand on the keypad. The biometric sensor registered her prints, and the door opened for her. She stared at the empty corridor, it beckoning her to join the fray. Rey hesitantly stuck one foot out the door. She looked back at her now empty room, feeling a pang of guilt for not keeping her promise to Ren. But she pushed the thought away as she took another, more determined step out of the threshold.

She had never been a good listener anyway.

Rey sprinted as she weaved her way through the now familiar corridors of the First Order base. Her first task, she knew, would be to find herself a weapon – anything that she could use to defend herself against the attackers. And then she would find Kylo Ren.

Rey ran in the direction of the armory; it was located in the southwest corridor, not too far from her rooms. It was instinct that guided her there; her mind was distracted by the thought of Kylo Ren. She wondered what he was doing, and if he was alright and uninjured in the midst of this attack.

Her mind was so consumed with thoughts of Kylo Ren that she did not see the body that she collided with.

Rey stumbled backward on impact, her hands finding their balance before she fell completely backward. She stared up at the person blocking her way; her brows furrowed as she recognized the familiar face. Her throat was dry with shock and disbelief as she croaked out, "Finn? Is that really you?"

"Rey?" The former storm trooper's eyes went wide. Before she could protest, Finn's arms were around her, and she was being swung into a rough embrace. "We've missed you so much. Poe, Luke and I are here to rescue you."

"Put me down!" She protested, knocking her fists into his broad shoulders. Immediately, he gently placed her won on the floor, "I have to get to the armory! I need a weapon,"

Finn's brows furrowed for the briefest of moments as he registered her words. As if suddenly remembering where he was, he pulled a blaster from his holster and handed it to her. Silently, Rey took it as he explained, "Pulled it off a storm trooper over in the east wing. Figured it couldn't hurt to have a backup. Come on, we've got to find the others."

Rey nodded silently and began to follow Finn through the corridor. That took care of part one of her plan.

She froze as she remembered what part two consisted of: finding Kylo Ren. She swallowed hard as Finn's words finally registered in her mind. _Poe, Luke and I are here to rescue you._ Wasn't that always what she wanted? To be free of the First Order? Resume her place with the Resistance? Be Luke Skywalker's Padawan on the light side of the Force? She had been dreaming of that since her first moments in captivity.

But she was not the same girl who had been taken prisoner months ago. Too much had happened between now and then – she had grown, discovered the true nature of her past, and had found something – love? - with Kylo Ren. Rey gasped as the realization hit her, that the connection she had felt with him was indeed love.

But was that enough to make her stay?

But she did not have much time to contemplate how she wanted to answer that question.

Finn turned, noticing that Rey had stopped following him. He sprinted back to her side, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Come on, Rey. We have to go. The Resistance is planning on blowing up this base, whether we are out of it or not. We have to go _right now._ " Without waiting for a response, Finn pulled on Rey's shoulder. Somewhere, her mind registered that it hurt, but she was too much in shock to realize it.

 _This is finally happening._

Finn dragged Rey through the corridors, forcing her to the central hanger of the base. Storm troopers were everywhere, clashing with Resistance fighters on the offensive. Instinctively, Rey raised the blaster in her hand – storm troopers would not recognize her as the captive of the First Order. They would look to kill her on sight, and so she had to defend herself.

"Poe!" Amidst the chaos, Rey heard Finn call out his friend's name. From across the hanger, she could see the young pilot running towards them. Rey smiled at the sight of her old friend, but her joy was short lived. Suddenly, a searing pain shot right across her right upper thigh. She let out a cry of pain, and she moved her hand to cover the area. Immediately, her hand was covered in a sticky, wet liquid. _Blood._ Her own blood.

"I've been hit," She called out to Finn, who turned and knelt next to Rey. His widened at the sight of the injury. Shots were being fired all around them – there is nothing that they could do for her there. Rey tried use the Force in order to block out the pain, but she felt herself growing overwhelmed by the sensation. She had not been trained in this skill yet – it was not doing her any good. The edge of her vision began to blur and she grew dizzy as the pain in her leg grew increasingly overwhelming. She tried to stand, so that they could get out of there, but before she could put much pressure on her right leg, she collapsed under her own weight.

"We have to get out of here," Poe made his way over to the group. "Finn, can you carry her?"

Her friend nodded and immediately swooped her up into his arms before she could protest being carried. Over Finn's shoulder, Rey watched the fight ensue behind her. She could see brown robes, the traditional robes of the Jedi – Luke Skywalker had joined in the retreat.

But _why_ were they retreating?

 _The Resistance is planning on blowing up this base, whether we are out of it or not. We have to go right now._ Finn's words from before finally registered with her. In her initial shock at being reunited with Finn again, the words had not even registered in her mind. But now, they were all she could think about. The First Order base on Coruscant was going to be destroyed. And everyone inside of it.

 _Kylo Ren was inside of it._

"Stop," Rey cried out, as she hit Finn's shoulder as hard as she possibly could. "Put me down, there is something that I have to do! We have to get him,"

"Are you crazy, Rey? We have to get out of here."

"No!" She protested, hitting Finn with all of her might. In her weakened state, she must not have put up much of a fight, because the man carrying her did not even so much as flinch. "I have to go back for him, I promised him." She let out an incoherent sob; Rey had never felt so helpless in all of her years.

"We're all accounted for, we haven't left anyone behind." Finn replied, as he continued to carry her through the chaos. His pace quickened with a renewed intensity as they neared their destination. They had almost reached the Resistance's x-wings, and so close to being home free.

It was then she realized that tears were flowing freely down her flushed cheeks. She had to do something, otherwise _he_ would die. The pain of that realization hit her harder than any blaster shot could, and she let out a wail of pain and heartache. She was acutely aware that, in the midst of their retreat, Luke Skywalker was eyeing her curiously. But she did not care what her traitorous former mentor thought. Her only concern was for Kylo Ren, and the promise that she had broken.

"Rey!" A distinct voice called out amid the chaos of the battle around them. Over Finn's shoulder, she could see the dark form of Kylo Ren. He only became farther away from her as Finn continued to move towards the x-wings. The dark night moved his hand, as if he was going to fling the former storm trooper away. But he paused as he saw Rey being carried helplessly in his arms, thinking better of the attack. Rey's heart sunk at the sight of him; she had to find some way to warn him of the plan. She had to get him to safety.

All she wanted was for him to be safe.

 _Get out of here. The Resistance is going to destroy this place at any moment. Save yourself._

She called out to him through the Force. For a moment, it was as if they were the only two on the whole planet. The battle disappeared from around them. Luke Skywalker, Finn, Poe Dameron. None of them mattered. It was only Rey and Kylo Ren.

 _Why did you leave? You promised you would stay._ Even through the Force, she could hear the disappointment and pain in his voice.

Rey struggled to find the right answer to his question. The pain in her leg was overwhelming now, and she found herself unable to concentrate on much else. She swallowed hard, as her carrier reached the x-wing. She found herself being gently placed into the co-pilots chair. Finn climbed in next to her, shutting the air locked door as he did.

Rey thought of Kylo Ren as she felt the x-wing take off. Was he still watching as her reluctant rescue was successfully finished? She imagined him, picturing the same man who earlier that day begged her not to leave her room. For the briefest of moments, she was truly sorry that she did not listen to him.

Through the Force, she reached out to him once more.

 _I am sorry. I love you._

It was then that everything finally went dark.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** So... please don't hate me! But even if you do, let me know in a review. Feedback keeps me going!


	19. Powerless and Powerful

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : I AM SO SORRY. I know it has been forever since this has been updated. But things have just gotten so hectic with work and the job search. Students have been working on their research paper and I just finished grading them today. There have been a lot of steps in this process, and that has been taking priority. Also, I have been going on a lot of interviews and demo lessons, which have taken a lot of planning time. But, the good news is, as school is New York is ending soon, there will be no more demo lessons! Just interviews. So, that's one less stress…

Anyway, I have not given up on this story. That's the most important thing. I still love it, so much that I rewrote this chapter at least three times.

I want to thank everyone who has been so completely patient with me. And for all of the reviews. Especially Guest, MissLantern, Guest, Guest, Guest, Dreaming One, edger2deadly, ForeverLillian, BeneathaMoonlessNight, Beyral, gabysweet10, rawsunshine, guest, xenlith, Wolf9lucky, ArtGirlie815, Eternal725, Guest, Mia Aisli, MusicGoddess, Guest, Desna99, Guest, Echo-Phoenix, Akoto3725, Guest, Cobbwebss, Angelicachurch, SelenaGomezMileyCyrusfan, Arkytior's Song, Dorothea, projektrevolution20, firerosedreamer67, ForeverDelighted, LovetheKlaroline, TheKatieBugg, theaesthene, and noahsark1.

* * *

 **Chapter Nineteen:** Powerless and Powerful

When Rey finally resurfaced from her unconscious state, the lights around her were far, far too bright. Her eyes burned from the harsh light as she tried to survey the sights and sounds that surrounded her. But there was a hazy film that blurred her vision, all she could do was make vague outlines of the droids and people that surrounded her. She was no longer on Coruscant, with Kylo Ren – that much was absolutely certain. Rey lifted her head to see what was happening, but she felt a cold metal band force her back down on to the gurney. She opened her mouth to protest the treatment, but all that escaped her lips was a low throaty groan.

A medic droid beeped ferociously at her – signaling that Rey had to keep still during the surgery. Although she could not move, she could feel the droid working furiously at her injury. Her lips curled into a frown and she closed her eyes as she realized exactly how _helpless_ she was in the moment. She had been complicit in the escape from Coruscant, even though there was a large part of her that wanted to remain there – to learn the ways of the Force with Kylo. And now, she could not move, protest, or defend herself on the operating table.

"It is going to be okay, Rey. You're okay," She registered a familiar voice that materialized next to her ear. It belonged to Finn, her _rescuer._ Her vision cleared as she looked at his face, etched with concern. Concern _for her._ Rey reached out a shaking hand to touch him – to make sure that her friend was really here in front of her. Despite her uncertainty in the situation, it was _so good_ to see him. He took his hand in hers, gently stroking her knuckles with the pad of his thumb, "You're out of there now."

 _You're out of there now._ Her stomach sank at Finn's words – the realization that she had been pulled from the first person she had felt truly at peace with, without so much as a goodbye. For as fast as it had happened, she had begun to feel at home on Coruscant. Desires of her rescue had no longer held priority in her mind. She should have been happy – this was what she always wanted, right? But she inexplicably felt hollow, as if there was a part of her that was missing.

Almost instinctively, Rey found herself reaching out to the person who had been consuming her thoughts through the Force. She reached out through the void, her mind searching for his. But she could not feel his presence on the other side. There was nothing to be found across the void – only Rey's own loneliness. Was he blocking the connection that they had? Or was it something much worse? Was he _dead?_ Her chest sunk at the thought that he would do something like that to her. But she pressed on, desperate to reach out – to at least find out if he had made it off the planet unscathed.

There was a sudden pain shooting through her leg, breaking Rey's concentration. The medic droid was stitching into her leg, and Rey winced in agony. Letting out a cry of anguish, she began to writhe under the medic droid's stitches. She struggled to complete the task she assigned herself, calling out to Kylo Ren through the Force. She attempted to clear her mind, erase the pain and the room around her, and focus solely on the face of the man she was trying to reach through the Force. _Kylo Ren._ She called out to him, with all of the energy she had. The voice echoed in her head, almost as if she were saying it out loud.

Somewhere, amidst both the physical and emotional pain, she heard Finn's confused voice asking her why she cared about the man who held her as captive. But before Rey could formulate a coherent response to the question, she cried out as the pain from the stitching became once again too much to bear. As she writhed on the operating table in the sick bay, she vaguely registered the medic droid sticking her with a sharp needle. Almost immediately, the pain dissipated as the sedative ran through her blood stream. Her vision began to blur once more as the medicine took hold of her, pulling her back into the void she had just emerged from. Her heart rate began to slow, and her eyes fluttered closed.

* * *

When her eyes opened again, Rey could not register what day it was. Had she been asleep for mere hours? A day? A week? Her throat was dry and scratch from disuse, and her eyes burned from the harsh light of the sick bay. As they adjusted to the lighting, she looked around. Unlike her previous bout of consciousness, her room in the sick bay was empty. The row of beds, which was normally host to dozens of sick or injured Resistance members, was void of any life forms. Even Finn, who Rey remembered had been holding her hand throughout the operation, was nowhere to be found. Her eyes raised in surprise – the former storm trooper was loyal to a fault. She could not imagine that he left the sick bay willingly; someone must have forced him out.

As her eyes continued to adjust to the lighting, she noticed a needle sticking through her arm, trailing to a bag of clear fluid. Horrified with herself for being unconscious for so long, she pulled the medical device from her skin. Rey let out a whimper of pain, unable to control herself in her weakened state. A small dot of blood erupted from where the needle had been. She stubbornly wiped the blood, leaving a red streak staining her pale skin. She pulled the sheets of the bed from her legs and grimaced at the sight. She was clothed in leggings that cut off just above her injury. She could see the black thread stitching through her skin, holding her leg together where the blaster had skinned her; the injury was still so raw.

Rey huffed in frustration as she assessed her injury. It was tender; she could feel a mild throbbing coming from the area. In the back of her mind, a voice told her that she should continue to rest, and let the recovery processes happen on its own. But she wanted nothing more than to get out of the sick bay and find her friends. She had to know what else had happened at the base on Coruscant – what had happened to him.

Rey bit her bottom lip as she slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed. She held her breath as she braced herself for the inevitable pain. Gently, at first, she set her bare foot down. The floor was cold underneath her feet, sending shivers down her spine. _This is not so bad,_ she thought to herself as she lifted her leg to begin walking. But she had spoken too soon. As soon as she set her injured leg down in her stride, the pain shot through her like a thousand blasters. Under her weight, the injured leg gave out, sending Rey crashing down to the floor with a loud _thud._ She cursed to herself as she struggled to get back on her feet. Standing was not going to work, she deduced.

She was not going to be able to go anywhere just yet.

Using her hands, she shimmied herself over back to the bed. Using her arms, she pulled herself back up to the bed. She huffed as she struggled to swing her hips up high enough to reach a sitting position.

It was then, as she struggled to get herself back on the bed, that she felt it. That she felt _him._ The hairs on the back of Rey's neck stood up as she tuned in to every slight movement that the Jedi made behind her. Rey did not say anything, but felt a renewed vigor as she swung her injured leg over the side of the bed and situated herself. She would not let him see her struggling, not after everything that she discovered regarding her past. She would not allow him to even glimpse into her failure, to show him that she _did not need him._

It was only after she was situated on the bed again that she looked to the doorway. Despite sensing him only moments ago, her breath hitched as she saw Luke Skywalker standing before her. She swallowed hard, blinking steadily as the Jedi walked slowly towards her. Her expression remained neutral as she assessed him – somehow, the Jedi looked older than before. Rey had to wonder if her captivity had taken its toll on the Jedi, but all too quickly she decided that she did not care.

"You disobeyed me…" He began, and Rey stared long and hard at her former mentor. Her gaze did not soften as she braced herself for the lecture that would no doubt come. But she found that she did not care; no amount of lectures from this man could make her feel shame. Moments passed before Luke Skywalker spoke again, and when he did, the hard look in his eyes softened considerably, "I am glad that you are safe."

It was all Rey could do to hide her shock – she had originally left Luke Skywalker and directly disobeyed his orders not to follow the doomed mission. Surely, she deserved some sort of lecture, yelling, for him to even say that he was _disappointed_ in her. But the Jedi did nothing of the sort. Her shock soon dissipated, only to be replaced by the burning anger as she remembered that she was not the only one who had done wrong. Luke Skywalker had _lied_ to her, taken her memories of her only childhood friend, and left her for dead. Even now, the knowledge that he had done something so unmistakably cruel to a young child felt so raw.

When Rey did not immediately react to Luke's words, she could sense the apprehension in the room. Rey had never acted so openly defiant towards her master before; never before had she been so blatantly hostile to his kind words. The unusual behavior no doubt sparked concern on the part of her former master. It was a few moments before she felt Luke's presence trying to make its way in to her head, trying to gauge what she was feeling, what she knew. She could feel the anger and indignation at the invasion of privacy welling up inside her, threatening to burst at any moment. But instead of physically reacting, Rey immediately imagined high walls surrounding herself, as she used her own power in the Force to block Luke Skywalker from her mind – just as Kylo Ren taught her to do.

Luke blinked at her attempts at shielding her mind from him, the only sign of his surprise at her actions. From his place at the foot of her bed, he leaned in slightly, "Tell me, Rey – what happened to you over there?"

Anger reverberated through her at that point, causing the tips of her fingers to shake as she gripped the sheets on her bed to steady herself. She swallowed the anger down, determined that she remain calm in front of Skywalker.

"I found out the truth," The whisper barely came out above the sounds of the beeping of the medical equipment. Rey swallowed hard, "I remembered _everything_."

Luke did not say anything. For what felt like an eternity, the only sound was the erratic beep of the computer that monitored her vital signs. She could feel the gaze of the Jedi boring into her; she had to look away, desperate not to meet his gaze. She could feel him scrutinizing her, and she had to will the blood in her veins to not rise to her cheeks. _He lied to you,_ a small voice from within whispered, _never forget that._

"I did it for your own good,"

"Abandoned," Rey hissed through gritted teeth, "Left to starve on Jakku with any survival skills wiped from my memory."

"If I had not, you would have died," His voice was eerily calm, so assured of the righteousness of his own actions. Rey hated him for that, "Or worse, you would have been brought to the Dark Side."

"At least I would have had my memories," Rey's eyes were burning as she tried desperately to fight off the tears that were threatening to flow freely, "At least I would have known who I was, who my friends were. But you took all of that away from me, from a little girl."

Skywalker let out a frustrated sigh as he turned away from her, "You are letting whatever feelings you have developed for Kylo Ren cloud your judgement. Clear your mind, search yourself, and you will know what I say is true."

The anger inside Rey was rising again as she struggled to control herself.

"My judgement is fine," She gritted her teeth, in a desperate attempts to keep from screaming at her former mentor. Her words came out in the form of a lethal sounding hiss, "In fact, nothing has been clearer."

Rey watched with her chin raised as her mentor closed his eyes, resigning himself to the cruel words she had just uttered. Silently, Luke Skywalker turned and walked away from his former Padawan, leaving her once again alone in the sick bay. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as soon as she was certain that she was alone. Rubbing the palms of her hands on her temples, she tried to process what had just happened. Thinking back on her words to Luke Skywalker, her cheeks turned red with shame. But he _had_ stolen her memories – there was no denying that.

Rey sighed, as she considered her current predicament. These people were supposed to be her friends, the light side of the Force, who believed they had rescued her from a cruel captivity. But as she considered her conversation with Luke Skywalker and Finn's reaction to her, she could not help but feel as if it was only _now_ that she was a prisoner.

* * *

There were four certain points in his life that Kylo Ren ever readily admitted to feeling fear: the moment his mother said he would be going off to train as a Jedi with his uncle, when he realized what he would truly have to do to cement his loyalty to Supreme Leader Snoke, when Rey had been most callously ripped from him by members of the Resistance.

And now – there was this.

The summons that Supreme Leader Snoke had given Kylo Ren were abundantly clear, and left no room for questioning their meaning. Kylo was to hasten at once to Arkanis, where the Supreme Leader was in residence. And he did not delay at his master's request, leaving the planet as it was being overrun by members of the Resistance. He was well aware of the gravity of this mistake, and a delay in the carrying out of orders would only serve to worsen the situation. Kylo Ren had only seen his master in the flesh a handful of times, and never after a colossal breach of security, where a major asset had been whisked away.

 _You should have prevented it._

The voice that had been incessantly gnawing at the back of his mind, criticizing his actions after the battle of Coruscant, steadily contributed to the growing fear of confronting his master. And now, as Kylo Ren made his way to the receiving room on Arkanis, the fear was at risk of boiling over. Putting on his mask as a feeble attempt to hide his emotions, Kylo Ren walked through the doors.

Supreme Leader Snoke sat alone at the center of the room, on an austere throne of titanium alloy. Kylo swallowed as he walked towards the center of the room, dropping to his knees the moment he was a respectable distances away from his master. In the flesh, Snoke was much smaller than he appeared on the hologram. He was older, as well, with the frailty that came with age. If Kylo had not been so certain of his master's power, he would have assumed that the man could have been easily overpowered. But despite his unassuming appearance, Supreme Leader Snoke radiated pure power. Looking up at his master, Kylo Ren felt his blood run cold. The old, frail man looked down upon his servant, his displeasure radiating through the Force and shaking Kylo Ren to his very core.

"You lost the girl," Kylo Ren kept his head down as the cool voice of his master echoed ominously throughout the chamber. He wanted to protest – Rey had not been lost. She had been stolen out from underneath him by the Resistance. But his head remained down and his lips pressed together as he incurred the wrath of his master. "Had her training been completed, she would have made a powerful ally for the First Order."

Kylo swallowed hard, finally daring to speak, "Master, if you permit me I will lead the mission to retrieve Rey from the Resistance. Allow me to prove myself to you once more, Master. I promise that I will not -"

"Silence!" The boom of Supreme Leader Snoke's voice was reverberated through the chamber, shaking through to Kylo Ren's core. Beneath his mask, Kylo Ren's mouth hung agape at the uninhibited rage. "There will be no mission to retrieve the girl. By her complicity in her own recue, we now know that despite any _entanglements_ she may have made whilst here, she was never truly loyal. Her infatuation with you was nothing more substantial. You have failed me, Kylo Ren."

As soon as the words escaped his master's lips, they hit Kylo like a direct hit in the pit of his stomach. Of course, he was loathed to disappoint his master. But what Supreme Leader Snoke said about Rey hurt worse than the shame of failing. _Despite any entanglements she may have made whilst here, she was never truly loyal._ He did not want to believe it – not after the last words Rey had said to him before she had been taken away.

 _I am sorry. I love you._

No, the Supreme Leader _had_ to be wrong about that. There was something between himself and Rey. But he dare not question his master; he respectfully dipped his head lower to the ground as he pleaded, "Tell me what I must do to make things right, master."

The calculated voice of Snoke echoed in the empty chamber, "You will return to Coruscant and oversee reconstruction attempts. You will not leave the planet until I personally recall you from there. Do not fail me again."

With the wave of a wrinkled and frail hand, Kylo Ren was dismissed from his master's presence. There would be no protesting for Kylo, no arguing to make his case for a rescue attempt. He bowed his head out of respect, before rising and turning away from the Supreme Leader. His footsteps echoed as retreated from the presence of his master, a mocking rhythm that only served to highlight the shame he felt at being dismissed so callously. He was grateful for his mask, as it hid the rose tint that covered his cheeks.

It was only after the doors to the receiving chamber closed behind him that Kylo Ren let out a frustrated sigh. The dark knight was _angry._ Angry at his master for not agreeing to send a rescue mission. Angry at Rey for having left in the first place. But most of all, he was furious at himself for letting her leave. He did not do enough to make her stay.

 _I am sorry, I love you._

The words haunted him, a mocking hymnal that followed him around wherever he went. Her words could not possibly be true. If they were, then where was she now? Why had she so willingly left him? Kylo let out a snarl, unleashing his lightsaber on the unsuspecting wall in front of him. How dare that woman play with him like that? Humiliate him as such? He was the master of the Knights of Ren, and now he had fallen from his master's favor.

"I wonder what heinous crime the wall must have committed to deserve such an attack," A voice came from behind Kylo, unmistakably mocking in its tone. Slowly, Kylo turned to face the man who had intruded upon his thoughts. Jaxus Ren stood before him, his glee radiating through the Force. A storm trooper, or any other member of his order, would not dare to be so presumptuous in the presence of Kylo Ren. He stood, seething, as Jaxus Ren gleefully continued, "I am sorry to hear that you have lost the girl. She would have made a powerful addition to our order."

"The girl will be much more than that, Jaxus," Kylo carefully chose his words in front of his second in command. He hardened his tone, unwilling to let his lieutenant know the extent of his connection with Rey, "As soon as the desert rat is found, she will submit to Supreme Leader Snoke."

Jaxus paid no mind to the words of his superior. He circled his superior, eyeing the glowing lightsaber carefully. Despite the abrupt change in the Supreme Leader's favor, Jaxus Ren was not Force sensitive, and could not wield such a weapon. Kylo would always have that against him, and his rival knew that full well. But in the moment, Jaxus raised his chin at his superior, "Supreme Leader Snoke has ordered me to plan a retaliation against the Resistance."

Kylo Ren froze; this was news to him. Why had he not even been informed of the plan? He stiffened, unable to help but feel slighted by his second in command. He clenched his fingers tighter around the lightsaber at his side; it took all of the strength in him not to attack the insolent fool where he stood.

"Do not worry, Lord Ren." Jaxus's mocking tone echoed in his ears, "If I find your pet, I will make sure to return her to you,"

It was lucky that Jaxus Ren moved so quickly, for Kylo Ren would have struck him down with his lightsaber where he stood. But before the dark knight could even react to the comment, Jaxus had entered the receiving room with Supreme Leader Snoke.

When the door had shut behind him, Kylo Ren let out another frustrated snarl. Igniting the saber at his side, he sent one ferocious slash through the air. In the past week, he had lost so much: he had lost the First Order base on Coruscant, he lost the favor his one true master, and he lost _her._

Kylo Ren cursed under his breath. What could he do now? Jaxus Ren was in charge of retaliating against the Resistance, no doubt against Rey. His volatile second in command would relish destroying the one thing that meant anything to his commander. It would be impossible for Kylo to do anything to prevent the slaughter from occurring, and _her_ getting caught in the crossfire.

But he could not disobey a direct order from his master.

Cursing his own weakness, Kylo Ren made his way to his own ship, to return to his new post.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Well, here it is! Please let me know you think. And there definitely should not be so long of a wait for the next chapter.**


	20. Black and White

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Well, this is it! It is currently Regents time – which means all of my grading and prep work are (for the most part) done. Anything that's not can be done when I am not proctoring these God-forsaken tests. So, I have free time again! Also, since there is no actual instruction going on, I don't really have much to do at school anymore. Which means I can use down time to write!

I also found a job! I know most of you probably don't read these little updates, but I am so excited! It's a lot closer to my house, and I don't have to cross the Tappan Zee Bridge in the morning. I am so pumped for this. So here is chapter twenty to celebrate!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and stuck by this through my prolonged period of not updating! Thanks to TheKatieBugg, Guest, Music Goddess, Guest, desna99, NezumeOneesan, ForeverDelighted, LovetheKlaroline and Mia Aisli!

ForeverDelighted – No I did not know that! But that is amazing to hear, I am glad so many people like this fic! I just hope people stuck by it through that little mini-hiatus that I took there.

Desna99 – Nope! And now that summer vacation is upon us, plan for even more updates! And maybe a new fic?

TheKatieBugg – I really do feel bad for them both. They are both kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place here, and both are coping with it in different ways. But it will all be resolved in due time!

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty:** Black and White

 _Beep. Boop beep. Beep._

A series of whirring beeps from the serving droid laying a tray of food next to her bed broke Rey from her thoughts. Mashed potatoes and Gorss steak. Her stomach turned at the thought of the ood. She gave the stout machine a half-hearted smile of gratitude before it retreated back into the kitchens. Since she moved from the sick bay into her own private quarters, Rey had taken all of her meals on her own. A droid brought the food to her, and cleaned up the half-eaten trays when she was done.

It was perfectly peaceful, without anyone to disturb her or her own thoughts.

It was almost as if the Force was laughing at her. For the moment she was content in her solitude, Rey could feel Finn's presence making its way towards her quarters. She signed as he drew closer and closer, until she finally heard the knock on the door. Without waiting for an answer, the former storm trooper entered. Leaning casually against the wall in front of her, he crossed his arms, "Why don't you come and eat with us?"

Rey merely lifted her shoulders in response to the question. Finn had been rather insistent that Rey fully reacclimatize herself back into the Resistance base. But, if she was being perfectly honest, she was not ready. She did not want to face the stares and judgment of her peers; she had failed her mission and cost the Resistance many lives. And she did not want to face Luke Skywalker again; one meeting had been more than she could stomach at the moment.

"It would be a lot less lonely than this."

Rey did not know if she would fully agree with him. But she just hugged her knees closer to her chest as Finn moved closer to the bed. She could feel the bed shift as he sat at the edge. Absentmindedly, she began to play with the fork – twirling it through the mashed potatoes on the tray.

"We don't bite, Rey."

Rey rolled her eyes, curling her lips into the smallest of smirks at his comments. Sometimes, it was hard not to react to her best friend. "It's not that I am frightened of anyone, Finn. I just don't know if I want to be back out there yet."

"Why?" His insistent question rang out through the otherwise silent room, as his eyes searched her own for the answers he was looking for, "What exactly happened to you over there? Did the First Order – did they torture you?"

Finn's words hung in the stale air of her quarters, as Rey mulled them over. Her mind flashed to the time that Snoke had tortured her, however briefly. But no, the reason for her silence was not the product of harm that had been inflicted upon her. She licked her dry lips before speaking, "It was nothing like that, Finn. There were just some things that I learned while I was over there. Things about me, my history."

Her friend's brows creased at her explanation, "What do you mean?"

Rey sighed, bringing her hands to her temples. Did she tell him the truth? There was no doubt that her months away from the Resistance had no doubt brought Finn closer to Luke Skywalker. Did she dare tell him what the Jedi had done? Inhaling, she looked away from her friend and towards the Gorss steak that remained untouched at her bed side. "I realize that not everything in the galaxy is black and white. Those that we expect to be noble and truthful aren't always so. The good guys aren't always good. And the bad guys…."

"And the bad guys aren't always bad?" Finn indignantly finished the thought for her. His angry voice rang through the small bedchamber, echoing violently against the empty walls. "How could you say that, Rey? The torture people, they murdered millions of innocent lives. Rey, they take innocent children from their homes. They raise them with no memory of their families, their friends – they make them cold blooded killers who only know how to follow orders."

"It is not just the First Order that does that, Finn."

"What are you talking about, Rey?" Finn's voice was hard as he regarded her carefully.

"The Jedi," Rey took a deep breath, "Taking children from their homes when they are young. Training them for a particular purpose, and making sure they only serve that purpose."

"You've got to be kidding me, Rey." Finn raised his hands in frustration. "Do you know how ridiculous you sound right now? The Jedi are the good guys. Luke Skywalker is doing good here. He was training you, if you don't remember that."

"You would be surprised how much I remember now, Finn." Her voice shook as she looked to her friend. She could see the anger radiating from his harsh eyes. What was more – she could feel it through the Force. It overwhelmed her. But, it also made her feel shame. Finn was her friend, or at least he was supposed to be. But the look in his eyes told her that at the moment, being her friend was the last thing that he was interested in. Without another word, the former storm trooper stood up from his position on the bed so forcefully that Rey lost her balance. Using the hard mattress, she steadied herself. She watched as he exited the room without so much as looking back at her.

When she was completely alone again Rey let out a frustrated sigh. These people – Finn, Poe and Leia – had once been her companions. Her friends. But since her return to the Resistance, it was abundantly clear that things were no longer the same between them. Finding out the truth, realizing her own power and past, had fundamentally changed her. And her friends – they did not understand that. They no longer understood _her._

There was only one person who did.

Rey closed her eyes, reaching through the Force around her. She reached out to _him_ – to Kylo Ren. She searched for the familiar warmth that emanated from him, his distinct signature that she had grown to recognize.

But, once again, it was nowhere to be found.

"Damnit, Kylo Ren." She cursed under her breath, "Where are you?"

She searched out for his presence one last time, hoping to be able to communicate with him. Her head perked up as she felt something, someone. Her shoulders fell, as she realized that the presence was distinctly feminine, and far too close to belong to the one she was looking for.

It was only moments before Leia Organa was at her door. Almost involuntarily, Rey's shoulders straightened and she sat up a little taller. It was the first time that she saw the general since she arrived on the base after her rescue. The older woman smiled at Rey, and she struggled to return the expression. Immediately, Rey could sense the apprehension radiating from her. The general wanted desperately to ask about her son, and Rey was the only one she knew that had prolonged contact with him in years. But for some reason she was hesitating, as if she did not know if she really wanted the answers to her questions, and Rey would not offer the information on her own.

Rey watched as the general carefully took a seat at the edge of the bed, exactly where Finn had been sitting only moments ago. A warm, tender hand reached out to Rey's arm. Rey moved to pull away from the woman, but something inside of her stopped that. The poor woman had missed out on so many years of comforting and mothering, and Rey would not deny her that now. Leia smiled up at the young woman, "We missed you, Rey."

Rey searched her mind to come up with a response to the general's simple statement. But she could not forget that her past conversations with Luke and Finn only proved that she was an outsider now. She had seen different things, learned things that made her question what was truly going on around her. She could not believe that the people who knew about her past – that knew she lost her own memories – would truly miss her. Rey gnawed on her bottom lip as she struggled to find the words to say.

The general and the young woman sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments. Rey, unsure of what to say to the woman, began to pick at the threads of the blanket on her bed. The general watched for a few moments, before her question rang out through the empty air, "He didn't hurt you at all, right?"

Rey looked up to the general at the question. She was desperate for information on Kylo Ren. Despite everything that the young man did to her, and the man she loved, she still wanted to know everything. Rey swallowed as she considered the answer to her question. A smile formed on her face as she thought of her first few moments with the dark knight, "We were not exactly friends to begin with. We fought and argued. But he was kind to me."

Visible relief washed over Leia Organa in that moment; her shoulders sank as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of them. The woman whose son had committed terrible acts showed his captive some kindness; it was at least something. From the corner of her eye, Rey watched as the general composed herself once more, "How was he?"

There was no masking the hidden meaning in her question. _How was Kylo Ren?_ There were times when Rey asked herself that very same question, and she could not yet come up with the answer to it. Sometimes he was good, caring and tender. And there were other times when he was not someone to be trifled with. She involuntarily shuddered as she thought of his reaction to finding General Hux attacking her. She looked once more to the general; she had to be careful with her words around the woman. Rey wanted nothing more than to give the woman a small sliver of hope about her son. But she did not want that hope to be false. She swallowed, before offering a small hesitant smile, "He was good, Leia."

Leia seemed to notice Rey's hesitation in discussing Kylo Ren. For the briefest of moments, the two women sat in comfortable silence. Rey was grateful for having the companionship that was not demeaning, or condescending. For once since her arrival back to the Resistance, she felt as though she was not being talked down to.

"You know, he really did everything to protect you."

Rey's relief was short lived, it would seem. Of course she should have suspected that General Organa would have turned the conversation back to her brother. Immediately, Rey bristled, "He left me for dead on Jakku. If I had not learned to fend for myself at such a young age, I would have starved. I never would have survived the desert."

"But you did learn," Leia countered, her voice unwavering in its motherly tone, "Luke never had any doubt in your abilities, Rey. You are a survivor, and he knew that. He believed you would be okay."

"He took everything from me, Leia." Rey hissed, "The knowledge of who I am, my friends, my family. I may never get that back because of Luke Skywalker."

"He had his reasons," The older woman sighed, "You should do what the Jedi do. Search your feelings for the truth.

Rey bit her bottom lip; it had already been something she had done multiple times since her self-imposed confinement. But each time she did that, the answer troubled her. She had been so certain that Luke Skywalker was in the wrong. But the more she thought about it, the less certain she was of anything anymore.

The general appeared to have sensed as much. Patting a gentle hand on Rey's arm, she gave the young woman a small smile before standing up, "The path to the light isn't always easy, Rey. The choices we have to make – they aren't always easy, and they don't always seem right."

When Rey did not respond, the general turned to leave the room. Rey watched as the door closed silently behind Leia. When she was certain that she was alone in her room, she banged the back of her head in frustration against the wall behind her as Leia's words repeated over and over again in her head.

 _The path to the light isn't always easy._

Rey couldn't help but chuckle. _The path to the light isn't always easy._

Didn't she know it?

* * *

Kylo Ren looked on in pride as multitudes of storm troopers and repair droids alike worked diligently to repair the First Order base on Coruscant. The residual fires were all put out, foundations were secured. Even now, the rebuilding process had begun from the disastrous attack on the planet. The repairs to the planet were making great progress in such a short period of time. Since his scolding from Supreme Leader Snoke, Kylo worked desperately to prove himself to his master. Not only were the repairs on time, but they were ahead of schedule. He would see to it that the base on Coruscant was not only repaired, but would surpass all expectations of its former grandeur. Kylo Ren would not fail his master again; in fact, he would get back in the Supreme Leader's good graces.

It was then, as he looked down prideful at the fruits of his labor, that he felt it. That he felt her. It was not the first time that she tried to reach out to him since their separation. Their Force bond was strong, connecting the two of them across the galaxy. And Rey had taken advantage of that fact multiple times since the fateful attack on Coruscant. Every so often, he would feel her presence, as if she were right beside him. As if things had not changed so drastically between the two of them. It was in those moments that he wanted nothing more than to open his mind to her. But as soon as he felt her call out to him, he immediately shut his mind to her.

He could not risk reaching out to her, allowing her into his mind. The temptation to go to her, wherever in the galaxy she was, would be far too great. He had to be strong in his resolve, although his chest ached every time he shut her out. Kylo Ren knew himself, knew his own weaknesses. He would not be able to stop himself of Rey asked him to come to her. And so, he refused to even let her ask. He had a duty to perform on Coruscant, a duty to Supreme Leader Snoke, and he could not let anything – including Rey – distract him from that.

"It appears as though the fortifications that run closer to the ground withstood the attack better than anticipated, sir." The mechanical voice of Captain Phasma materialized beside him, surprising Kylo. He had been so distracted by the thought of Rey that he had not sensed the woman come in, and he had to wonder just how long she had been by his side. "It should not be long before we get all power back up and running."

The news pleased him – the sooner the repairs were completed, the sooner that Kylo could get off the planet and back into his master's good graces. With a nod of his dark helmet, Kylo Ren replied, "Very good, Captain. I want to have this place back to maximum strength within a fortnight."

Although she too was wearing a mask, there was no hiding the aura of hesitation that surrounded the captain in that moment. Even the head of the storm trooper program knew that his plans were almost too ambitious. But the woman was nothing if not smart, and she held her tongue in front of Kylo Ren. He knew that the captain would do whatever it took to complete his orders; the woman was loyal to a fault. With a single nod of her helmet, Captain Phasma retreated from his presence.

Kylo also turned to leave, but not before taking one last look at the work below from the overseeing chamber. Were his plans ambitious? Yes, of course they were. But he would surpass all expectations laid before him, as he had always done in the past. After a few more moments, Kylo Ren turned to exit the chamber. As he made his way down to his own private quarters, his mind could not help but wander back to the young woman who had so easily been taken from him. His master's words lingered over him, taunting him. Despite any entanglements she may have made here, she was never truly loyal. It was that lack of loyalty that would put her in too great of a danger.

The solitude of his private quarters was of little comfort to him. When he was alone with his thoughts, Kylo Ren felt the most vulnerable. It was times like these when he was most open to giving in to Rey's innocent temptations. He looked to the center of his room, where his most prized possession sat. Darth Vader's helmet had been a source of comfort to him in his years under the tutelage of Supreme Leader Snoke. It had been the emblem of everything he wanted to be, a reminder that there was a goal that needed to be completed. But it seemed as though with each passing day he was further and further from reaching his goal.

Taking off his own helmet, he placed it next to the one that had once belonged to his grandfather and sighed. How could he possibly live up to the legacy of Darth Vader now?

"I have failed in my mission to complete your work, grandfather," He ran his fingers through his slick black hair in frustration. "All of my life, I have felt the call to finish what you started. I made it my life's mission, and have sacrificed so much."

As he continued, Kylo had to wonder if his prayers were falling on deaf ears. After all, he had spoken to Vader many times as he was growing up. And while the idea of speaking to his grandfather always brought him comfort, it had not provided the guidance that he so often sought from the relic. Kylo swallowed, continuing his prayer, if only so he himself could process the thoughts that were running through his head, "I do feel a greater call now though, grandfather. A call I do not know how much longer I can ignore."

Beep beep beep. The three consecutive beeps from the communication device at his side signaled that Kylo Ren had an urgent message. He looked to see the hologram of Nava Ren, one of his trusted knights, emerging from the device's small holoport. He frowned; although she was loyal to him to a fault, Nava Ren was not stupid. With his fall from grace and his current exile to Coruscant, she would not risk contacting him unless there was vital information that needed to be communicated.

Kylo looked at her small, masked frame through the hologram, "What is it, Nava?"

Her small voice faded in and out; she must have been on a covert hologram connection. Kylo leaned in closer; if she were to go through all the trouble to be as covert as she was, then the information must have been important. "Jaxus Ren plans on attacking the Resistance base on D'Qar within the fortnight. He is already creating outposts along the Outer Rim to lay siege to the planet."

The information did not come as a shock to him. Jaxus gloated as much the last time he had seen his superior. That could not have been all, she would not have risked so much for so little. He sighed, "What are the express orders from Supreme Leader Snoke?"

For the briefest of moments, she did not answer him. But when her answer finally came, Kylo Ren wished he had not heard it, "To leave none alive, sir."

His stomach dropped at the news. Rey would be on that base, and if Kylo knew his second in command, Jaxus would relish in making her suffer more than anyone else on the whole planet. Cursing under his breath, he looked to Nava's image, "Are you certain?"

"Quite certain, sir." With that, the hologram disappeared, the feed between the two having been cut. Cursing louder this time, Kylo Ren angrily kicked his legs out from under him. Something hit the ground with a large crash; Kylo looked to see what had caused such a great commotion in the bare room.

The once glorified mask of Darth Vader had gone toppling to the floor, now spinning violently on its side. Any other time, Kylo Ren would have made moves to pick up the helmet and restore it back to its place of honor in its room. But he did not have time for that – he had more pressing things to be concerned about.

* * *

Two days had passed since Rey's conversation with General Organa. Two more days of self-imposed solitude. It was in that solitude that Rey found the time to contemplate how exactly her time was spent. She easily realized that the more time she spent alone, the more she would attempt to reach out to Kylo Ren. And the more she did that, the more she was disappointed with each failed attempted. She could no longer stand to be alone with her own thoughts anymore.

And so that was how Rey found herself walking aimlessly through the base at D'Qar. At first, she hung around the edges, sticking close to the old fighters and x-wings. She was guaranteed not to run in to anyone there. But as the day progressed, more and more pilots were filling up the hangers as they looked to make repairs. She the hangers proceeded to fill up, Rey could feel the eyes of everyone on her. She had no doubt that rumors of her failed attempt at getting information, her captivity and subsequent rescue were news all over D'Qar. In the short amount of time she spent there, she knew that much was true.

There was no doubt that people knew.

Their eyes told her as much. Rey could feel the heat of their glares as she made her way through the hangers. Her pace quickened, she did not want to be under their scrutiny for very much longer. Darting past the last of the broken down x-wings, Rey made her way out into the forest. The surroundings were familiar to her. Each tree held a memory of her days spent training to be a Jedi with Luke Skywalker. Even now, she felt the call of the Force drawing her to the old clearing.

She should not have been shocked to find the clearing so empty. After all, Luke Skywalker had not trained her in months. She smiled at the memory of the old place, of her learning to wield the Force in the most rudimentary of fashions.

 _This is the perfect spot for some mediation._

And so, Rey found herself falling into her surroundings, becoming consumed with the Force all around her. She could feel it envelop her, drowning out a galaxy's worth of problems and complications. For the first time since her rescue, Rey felt truly at peace…

She did not know how long she was mediating for, but an approaching presence immediately broke her from the peaceful state that she was in. Luke Skywalker stood at the edge of the clearing, regarding her sternly. Rey could not tell how long he had been watching her, and a small part of her did not want to know. She blinked up at him, unwilling to concede the first word to him.

He extended his hand to her, and Rey's brows creased at the action. It was only after a moment that he was holding an object out to her, something for her to take. The shaft of a lightsaber glistened in his hand. Rey's mouth fell open; it was her own. She did not think that she would have seen it again after it was confiscated by the First Order.

How could Luke Skywalker have gotten it?

As if he had sensed her unasked question hanging in the air, he looked at her square in the eye, "I found it by chance on Coruscant, when I was searching for you. It belongs to you, and should be returned to its rightful owner."

Sticking out her own hand, Rey called for the elegant weapon through the Force. Almost immediately, it flew into her hand, hitting her palm with a loud smack. She could feel the power emanating from the weapon through her body, as if it were an extension of her. _Hello, old friend. I thought I would never see you again._

She looked up once again at Skywalker, whose was regarding her curiously. "Keep it close, Rey. I have a feeling you are going to need it soon."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Please review and let me know what you all think!**


	21. Ally and Nemesis

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Alright ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry that this one is a bit short. For the majority of the chapter, I was pushing through some really bad writer's block. It's bad, because I know exactly where I want to take this story – I know exactly what is going to happen. It was just taking me too long to write it out. Also, I thought I had published this like a WEEK AGO. For some reason, it never did though, so I'm sorry. I've been busily writing the next chapter and have been wondering why I haven't gotten any feedback on this.

That being said, we are coming up on the end. After this, there will be about two more chapters left. I know some of you have been asking me this lately, and there it is! I ended up condensing a lot of what was going to be happening in later chapters into the final two. So, we are coming up on the end here.

As always, thank you to everyone who took the time to review: kechoch, DoctorHiddles14, SheLitAFire, Desna99, DanNatureKirl313, Tigrimn, Ruby Marie, dburton1997, Mia-Aisli.

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-One:** Ally and Nemesis

A cold hard rain beat down on the man in black as he surveyed the thousands of troops in formation. It sent a chill up his spine to know that this was a sight to see along planetary outposts in the entire system. To know that soon enough, the tens of thousands of foot soldiers that lay at his feet would be his to command; they would bring about his wrath, laying waste to the Resistance and all who aided them. The thought sent a tickle in his throat, and a small chuckle escaped from behind his black mask. It was almost time for them to act. For _him_ to act. Never before had he felt so powerful. The majority of his adult life had been spent second in command to the sniveling Kylo Ren, forced to serve when the insipid boy received all of the glory.

But that was no more.

The once promising descendent of Darth Vader proved to be just as disappointing as his grandfather. He had let his own personal feelings for the scavenger bitch cloud his judgement, and distract him from serving his true purpose. He had fallen from grace, leaving an opportunity for someone else to rise up from the ashes. Jaxus Ren had the opportunity to prove himself, to show Supreme Leader Snoke exactly what he could accomplish. While Jaxus was not the Force sensitive prodigy that the Supreme Leader had hoped for, he would not let the First Order's leader down. He would bring the Resistance to its knees. And he knew just where to start.

Jaxus Ren had spent too long in the shadows, while Kylo Ren walked all over him. The golden child of Leia Organa and Han Solo assumed a leadership role in the First Order from the day he came of age, using his power to keep everyone else in submission. It had been humiliating, being bested by a young _boy._ But now it was time for all of that to change. Jaxus would get his revenge for all of the years of humiliation, and make the young knight suffer.

Not through a quick death, although that would come later.

No, he wanted him to truly suffer.

"Excuse me, sir." A faceless storm trooper interrupted Jaxus' thoughts. Had his new station within the First Order not improved his mood so much, he may have punished the trooper for such an offense. But he was feeling much more generous lately. He turned his head toward the soldier, waiting to hear what was so important. "General Hux has returned with the final report. Phasma is bringing in ten thousand new storm troopers from conditioning. They should be here within the next day."

Behind the black mask that hid his features, Jaxus Ren hid a giddy smile.

It was almost time.

* * *

Small, cool beads of sweat pooled on Rey's brow as she swung the lightsaber violently to her left. She gasped at the ferocity of her own attack, wondering where the surge of energy had come from. It was as if she had been driving by something much more than adrenaline. The exercise of her energy was a welcome distraction, as she had been constantly haunted by thoughts of Kylo Ren. Often, when she was practicing with her saber, she would be reminded of his own grace and skill with the blade. But she had no time to think about it too long, for she was already spinning to her right, as if to avoid an oncoming attack.

Blood pounded through Rey's veins, but the quickening of her pulse did not stop her from her exercises. She spun around, bringing the saber over her left shoulder and cutting all the way through the air to her right side. It felt good to be able to practice with the weapon again; she had been without it for months now. Feeling the need to make up for lost time, Rey spent hours each day practicing in the same clearing with her weapon. It was like riding a pod racer; they say you never forgot how.

But it was more than just the desire for practice with the delicate weapon. Ever since the lightsaber had been returned to her Luke Skywalker's words haunted her. _Keep it close, Rey. I have a feeling you are going to need it soon._ Rey swallowed the words down hard as she once again dodged an imagined attack. She was loathe to agree with Luke Skywalker, but she had the same instinct. She thrusted the blade forward, getting used to the feel of the weapon in her hands once again, honing her once neglected skills. Retracting the blade, she once again spun around, only this time to be startled by a pair of familiar faces starting at her from the edge of the clearing. She retracted the saber's blade, meeting the gaze of her friends.

Finn swallowed hard, starting at her intently. Poe Dameron, although uncomfortably shifting his feet, gave Rey the smallest of smiles. Rey returned the gesture; since her return, Poe had been kept busy with strategizing the Resistance next big attack. They were on the offensive now since the destruction of Coruscant, and spent most of his time with the general. Sweat still dripping from her face, she looked at both of them expectantly.

Had she not been trained as a Jedi, she would have easily missed the look that Poe shot the former storm trooper. Finn took a deep breath, keeping his gaze on the young woman in front of him, "I just want to say that I am sorry for bursting out at you the other day, Rey. I – _we_ – don't know what you went through over there, we can't imagine or pretend to know. And I'm sorry for thinking that I could."

Rey swallowed, processing Finn's words. She thought back to the conversation, the hairs at the back of her neck still rising in anger. She could remember the indignation she felt at his words. But past the anger, past the indignation, Rey could also still feel the loneliness. The isolation in her cell. The desperation for contact as Kylo Ren closed himself off to her.

Did she really want to remain alone?

Both Finn and Poe looked at Rey expectantly for what felt like hours. She could sense their expectation, their anxiety over her eventual answer. Rey searched the eyes of her friends, and she gave them a small smile.

"So what did they miss while I was away?"

* * *

Luke Skywalker watched on as, day by day, Rey slowly made her way back into the arms of her friends. Even now, he was looking on as Finn aimed the blaster at Rey, and she skillfully deflected each attack with her lightsaber. A sense of relief washed over him as he began to notice her reintegration back into the Resistance. The days she spent in isolation had already done a number on her, he could sense it. The last remaining Jedi could not shake the gnawing feeling of responsibility for Rey's stress.

"You did the right thing," A comforting voice came from behind him. His sister, Leia, put a gentle hand on his shoulder as he watched on as Rey joked with her friends on the training grounds, "You were doing what you had to do to protect her."

Luke nodded at his sister's assertion; he had never regretted the choice that he made. He was protecting Rey, from the moment she had come to train underneath him as a youngling. He could sense her strength in the Force and knew instinctively that she would be able to do great things when her potential was fully realized. But the Jedi also knew that the Dark Side would destroy her, if she succumbed to it.

He could sense the conflict within Rey, he could feel where the darkness had taken a hold inside her heart. When she had been cross at him, he could feel it radiating from her like heat. "And yet she was tempted by the Dark Side's power anyway."

"She was tempted, yes." The ever-hopeful voice of his sister echoed in his ear, "But she was able to come back."

Luke swallowed as he considered Leia's words. Yes, Rey was able to come back. Her rebuilding of her relationship with both Finn and Poe was evident of that. But Leia was not talking about Rey; the hope that emanated from her words betrayed her. Clearing his throat, Luke looked his sister straight in the eye. Behind the aged lines that plagued them both, he still saw the young woman he helped to rescue from the Empire all those years ago. In those young eyes, he still saw the fire that fueled hope for a better future. The hope that had been crushed far too many times in her life. "Leia, I would not look to hope too much. The Dark Side corrupts too easily,"

Leia's shoulders straightened at the reproach, but the hope was still burning in her eyes, "You don't have to lecture me, Luke. I know just how tempting the Dark Side can be."

He could sense the defiance in her, the magnetic spirit of her youth shining through. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the hurried presence of one of Leia's commanders, "General Organa, excuse me, but our systems have just detected an incoming vessel. We're unable to chart its exact location, but it will be making its landing on the planet shortly."

Leia's eyes went wide, and she marched over towards the command center. In a split second, his sister transformed from worried mother to strategic general. Immediately, Leia began barking orders to officers and pilots alike. The camp's atmosphere changed from relaxed to frantic over the course of mere seconds. People began to arm themselves, as rumors began to circulate through the base.

"Did you hear? The First Order is attacking!"

"Are you sure? I heard only one ship was approaching."

"It's a diversion, it has to be. They'll wait until our defenses are down, and they will hit us. _Hard._ "

Misinformation was spreading like wildfire. Luke reached out, trying to use his abilities in the Force to sense what was coming. But as he did so, he hit a wall. His breath hitched as he realized that there was something – _someone_ – blocking their own presence. Luke looked over to his former padawan from across the base, watching as she attempted the same exercise. Her shoulders collapsed in disappointment; her attempts had also been futile.

The siren sounded, alerting all personnel on the base to man their stations and prepare for battle. Amidst the pilots and droids running around him to their designated positions, Luke remained still, watching as his former student prepared for the worst.

* * *

As Rey had only been back with the Resistance for such a short period of time, she had not been given her new military assignments. As was such, she found herself following Poe and Finn into the General's control room. While unsure if that was the right place for her, she was grateful to be at the center of all of the chaos, where all of the information was being processed.

She would not be blindly following orders.

"Right now, what we know, is that a transport pod was detected on the radar thirty minutes ago. Ten minutes ago it was seen entering our atmosphere and preparing for landing." An officer that Rey did not recognize explained. He highlighted on the map of the surrounding system where the ship had first been detected.

"And why can't we find it now?" The general asked, the annoyance dripping from her voice. She looked at the officer expectantly.

"Well, uh-," He stuttered, "Something happened to our systems. They began to shut down intermittently. They're – well, they're back up now. But we suspect that the vessel has already landed."

"They were running interference on our systems," Poe breathed, blinking incredulously.

"So you mean to tell me that someone managed to make their way to our planet virtually undetected?" The general hissed, "And we have no means of knowing where they landed?"

A murmur overtook the crowd as people soaked in the general's words. There was no doubt that this invasion was bad news for the Resistance. An unplanned landing? Someone capable of completely overriding their surveillance systems? She looked at the radar map at the center of the room, wondering who in the universe could possibly manage to do that. Rey swallowed, her eyes on the map, "Looking at the trajectory of his landing pattern right before the systems went out, we can mathematically predict the vessel's landing site."

Poe's eyes narrowed as Rey finished her point, "She's right. Based on the trajectory and speed, there is about a fifty kilometer radius that this person could have possibly landed."

"We could send out search parties," Rey suggested, trying to ignore the fact that most of the officer's eyes were now on her. Would they trust her instincts after her behavior lately? She swallowed, waiting for their response. After a few painstakingly long moments, those around her began to nod their heads.

"It appears that is our only option," General Organa sighed, "Do what you can to bring our intruder in alive, everyone. I would like to question whoever it is on what exactly they know."

At Leia's final order, the officers and soldiers in the room began to disperse, already forming search teams for their mission. Immediately, Rey gravitated towards Poe and Finn. As she made her way to the pair, they were already preparing themselves for the worst.

"We'll be taking the southernmost quadrant of the forest," Poe explained, pulling out a pocket holomap. Projecting it up, he highlighted a specific square. Rey nodded, taking in as much as she could – coordinates, geographic characteristics. She had to admit, being useful after all of her days spent in the medical bay and isolation felt wonderfully freeing for her.

"We've all got it?" Poe asked, looking at both Finn and Rey for their comprehension. They both nodded, eager to get out there. Taking the holomap and securing it to his waist, Poe looked up at them again, "Then we are off."

They were an hour in to the search, and no one had found anything. Teams were scouring the wooded area, ready to defend themselves against a possible attack at any moment. But with each minute that nothing happened, people were getting more and more impatient. Perhaps the person had crashed, they would most likely be dead anyway…

Perhaps it was not any enemy at all, and whoever had landed was making their way to the base to speak to General Organa as they fruitlessly searched in the woods…

But Rey could not shake the feeling that whatever they were looking for was still out there. And so, as the sun went down, Rey swatted through the heavy brush of the forest, searching for any clues that would help her to find what she was looking for. Finn and Poe were only a short yell away from her; the trio were staying close by in case anyone ran into trouble.

There was a soft rustling in the bushes behind her, and Rey whipped her head around. She could not see what was moving beneath the brush. _It is probably just an animal,_ she thought to herself. But a gnawing feeling inside of her gut told her to investigate. Taking a step further towards the source of the sound, she ignited her lightsaber. Although she attempted to be as quiet as possible, the low hum of the weapon was enough to startle whatever was lurking in the bushes. With another rustle of the greenery, a hooded figure emerged like a phantom from the brush.

Mouth agape, Rey stared at the figure before her. She watched on as the figure slowly removed his hood, revealing the face that consumed her thoughts since they had been separated. Rey swallowed hard, taking in all of the features of the unmasked man who stood before her. She had seen him so many times in her dreams. He could not really be standing in front of her. Could he? Before she could think to react, the figure took a step towards her, "Rey, I-"

The lightsaber fell from Rey's hand, sheathing itself and hitting the brush beneath it with a soft thud. She reached out her now free hand, desperate to see if what she saw standing in front of her was real. Unthinkingly, oblivious to the world around them, Rey's had brushed cheek, coming into contact with his soft, very real skin.

Rey gasped as his ungloved hand met hers, gently stroking her own figures. Kylo Ren dipped his face down, bringing only inches away from Rey. It was then that their lips collided in a passion that had been restrained for far too long. The spark that had been missing from her life for the past weeks was now returned; she could feel it radiating through her with each kiss. For the briefest of moments, it was just the two of them in the forest. But reality was setting in, and the longer the two had their guard down, the longer they would be discovered. Reluctantly, Rey pulled away from Kylo. She shook her head as her voice dropped a few decibel levels, "I didn't know – I didn't think I would ever see you again. What are you doing here? Why did you come?"

A beat passed.

And then another.

"I couldn't stay away, Rey." Kylo swallowed, and Rey could feel the turmoil within him as he explained, "After you left, Supreme Leader ordered me to stay on Coruscant to oversee efforts to rebuild the damage your little rescue attempt inflicted. And Jaxus Ren was charged with planning retaliation against the Resistance –"

"Retaliation?" Rey's hand flew to her mouth as she let out a gasp.

"When I found out what was being planned, I just couldn't let it happen." He swallowed, his voice breaking as he tried to get the words out, "I couldn't leave you to fight on your own."

A small, indignant part of Rey wanted to scoff and tell him she could very well have protected herself. But he risked everything to come warn her. She reached out to grab his hand, a small attempt at comfort, but she was interrupted by the loud shouts and rustling in the bushes behind her. _Crap,_ she thought to herself. She had forgotten entirely about the search party.

"We have you surrounded. Put your hands up and do not make any sudden movements." She could hear Poe Dameron's voice materialize from behind her. It was then she could see the circle of soldiers that had surrounded them. How could she have not sensed them approaching? She could feel Poe walk up behind her, trying to get a better look at who the intruder was. As soon as he was close enough, she could hear the mixture of both amusement and panic in his voice, "Well, shit. Look what we have here."

* * *

"Sir," A pompous voice once again interrupted the grandiose fantasies of Jaxus Ren as he gazed out at the ships under his command. The recently elevated knight looked to see who was disrupting his thoughts. General Hux stood at ease, with his hands behind his back. Looking straight ahead at his new commander, the haughty general did not wait for permission to speak, "There has been a change in our invasion plans."

"A change?" Jaxus scoffed, raising his eyebrows to the general, "I did not approve of any such change, Hux."

The lanky general straightened his shoulders, a smug smirk forming on his face, "Of course you did not, sir. The change came from Supreme Leader Snoke directly."

He pulled out a note from behind his back, and handed it over to Jaxus. "Kylo Ren has abandoned his post on Coruscant and is now considered an enemy of the First Order. We must assume that he has joined the Resistance."

Jaxus raised his eyebrows at the new information. How could the insipid little boy know about the plan? Jaxus straightened his shoulders, "As he is a traitor of the highest degree, we cannot let him live."

"Of course not, sir." Hux replied, as if Jaxus' assertion was the most obvious thing in the world. "In order to assure that there are no _mistakes,_ the Supreme Leader himself will be leading the vanguard of the attack. He will ensure himself that Kylo Ren does not live."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Okay, I know it was short! I'm sorry. But please let me know what you think of this chapter, of this whole story, in general! Reviews really do provide information. And, I want everyone to know I am also working on another Reylo fic as well!


	22. Hero and Villain

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Okay, ladies and gents! I don't know about you, but I am feeling Chapter 22! Sorry for the lame T Swift reference, but I'm feeling pretty good right about now. I'm prepping for my trip to Nashville, and I had quite a good time writing this chapter. It was simultaneously so much fun and so difficult to write. Probably the best kinds of chapter, no? I hope you enjoy it – please let me know if you did by reviewing!

As always, thank you to my amazing reviewers for the last chapter. It is you who truly provide the inspiration for me to write. Thank you DoctorHiddles14, Maddy, LovetheKlaroline, DaniNatureGirl391, ForeverDelighted, Josephguy217, gabysweet10, Mia Aisli, Aaa, and Kuma Dzurui!

Also, the next update I will publish will be the prologue to my new Reylo fic, _This Awful Energy._ If you recognize the title, it is from a Halsey song called Control. That song really inspired me for that fic, so if you want to know what the fic is about, I really recommend checking out that song. Also, because it is just a truly amazing song. If you want to read it, please make sure you follow me as an author so you will be notified of the update.

As always, I love you guys!

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Two:** Hero and Villain

It was almost immediately after all of the search parties left that Leia could sense the gnawing feeling at the back of her mind, the coldness that penetrated her very core – but she couldn't establish what is was, what was causing her to have such a visceral reaction to the search parties' departures. Her skills in the matter were not honed well enough. After all, Luke had always been the one with the deeper connection to the Force. He studied it, practiced the Jedi arts using the Force, which left Leia now wondering what the sinking feeling in her stomach could possibly mean.

The command center was fluttering with officers, each waiting for their own reports. Contingency plans were being made, rumors of what was happening elsewhere on the planet were being exchanged with fervor. On any other occasion, the surrounding activity would have provided a welcome distraction for the general. But at this moment, there was something that would not allow her to stop thinking about this unsettling feeling.

"General Organa," A hurried voice from the front of the room spoke her name, pulling Leia from her own thoughts. She looked up to see Poe Dameron, his dark brown hair disheveled from the search and his face dirtied with the grime of the planet. If it had been any other time, Leia would have made a casual joke about her prized pilot's slovenly appearance. But, for whatever reason, she could not bring herself to joke at the moment. The pilot, upon reaching her side, looked askance at the surrounding officers "General Organa, if I could speak with you in private, please."

The flurry of noise in the room fell to a quiet hush at his words, and a newfound sense of dread washed over Leia as she imagined the worst. Rey had been ambushed in the search by whoever had made their way on to the planet. Luke had met his end fighting the intruder. The former princess looked to the other officers, all of whom were eyeing here with curiosity. She swallowed hard, before following Poe Dameron out into a quiet hallway.

"What's wrong, Poe?" Leia bit her tongue, waiting for the worst news. Her heart hammered violently in her chest, as she thought of the family she had created among the Resistance. What had happened to them?

Poe ran both hands through his dark, disheveled hair, "I- well, I really don't know how to say this, general."

Leia swallowed hard, bracing herself for what horrors were about to come. She knew it – something had gone horribly wrong. "I've had so much heartache in all my years, Poe Dameron. You do not have to mince words with me."

"Right, right, of course." He nodded, before fixating his eyes on the wall directly beyond Leia's shoulder. "The intruder was apprehended and brought in to the prison cells."

"Well, that is wonderful news," Leia felt her shoulders, which had been carrying the weight of the world, drop considerably. Her lips curled up, her anxiety momentarily dissipating.

"It was Kylo Ren who was brought in, General." Poe was looking just past her, at that same spot on the wall from before, "He went with us quite willingly, after we found him with Rey."

But Leia had not heard Poe's explanation of the events that lead to the apprehension of Kylo Ren. For the briefest of moment's Leia Organa's hammering heart stop suddenly, and all breath leave her body. Her boy? The thought of the face she had not seen in years made her heart rate start up again and nearly double. Poe continued to speak, but Leia could not immediately process his words. Before she could even form a coherent thought, her legs began to move of their own accord, carrying her to the son she had not seen in more than a decade.

She made her way through dark hallways, passing people who gave her pitying looks. No doubt that the rumors around the Resistance had already circulated – Kylo Ren was being held prisoner on the base. People would be talking about her, scrutinizing her every move in this matter. What would Leia do? Punish him? Pardon all of the heinous actions? She could hear the whispers surrounding her, and her heart dropped as she realized that she would have to eventually answer those questions.

But not at the moment.

Right now she would look upon her son.

Leia entered the sparsely used prison wing of the Resistance base. While usually empty, this evening it was now fluttering with activity. In the small operations room directly outside of the holding cells, Leia saw her twin brother and Rey sitting at the table. Upon Leia's arrival, the young woman leapt from her seat. Taking Leia's hands in hers, she looked upon the general, "Please do not let them hurt him. I've heard people say they wish to execute him. Please, _he risked everything to warn us._ "

Leia Organa's head whipped at Rey's words. She eyed the strange young woman, who developed such a close relationship with her son, "What do you mean _warn us?_ "

"The First Order is planning an attack on the Resistance," Rey bit her bottom lip, "I-I don't know when it's happening, or how. But it's coming, and Kylo – he warned me. He warned us."

Leia's inhaled sharply at Rey's words. Her son – her enemy – risked everything to warn the Resistance. Had he truly forsaken the dark side? She shook her head, refusing to let her own logic confuse itself with hope. She had to remain objective.

Luke looked to his sister, searching her eyes – but for what, Leia could not tell. But as he looked at her, she could see the same confusion and worry etched onto his face that no doubt mirrored her own. With Han gone, Luke was the only one who could understand what she was going through. Her brother nodded his head, "Rey and I will inform the officers as to the plan and come up with a defensive strategy of our own."

"What?" Rey's head whipped around, her energy and indignation directed towards Luke, "No, I can't leave him."

Leia watched as her brother put his hand gently on the frantic girl's shoulder. In that moment, an unspoken understanding passed between the old Jedi and his former padawan. Without anther word, Luke and a very reluctant Rey departed from the prison wing. Leia watched as the two exited, and when she was alone she finally let out a breath she had not realized that she had been holding.

She turned, facing the door that divided her from the cell block that held her son. Taking a deep breath, Leia opened the door, ready to see the man who now called himself Kylo Ren.

His holding cell was at the very end of the block, and Leia steadily made her way there. The sound of her boots hitting the cold floor of the cell block echoed ominously through the chamber. She paced her breathes with the sound of her even footsteps, hoping that the exercise would calm her. But it was of no use, the mixture of emotions was too powerful inside of her.

Before turning to face her son, before she even stood directly in front of the clear panes of shock proof glass that was the holding cell, she looked at the men guarding him. Raising her chin, summing up all of the poise her regal mother instilled in as a child, she dismissed the men, "You may leave us."

With a deferential nod, both of the guards stationed in front of the holding cell left their post. And when she was certain they were alone, Leia finally turned.

For the first time in years, Leia Organa looked upon her son. His head was down, his hair covering most of his face. She drank in his features – the high cheekbones, the dark mane of hair, the jawline that reminded her so much of his father. Leia held in a gasp – he was a mirror image of the father he had brutalized. As she took all of it in, she could feel the mixture of emotions churning somewhere deep inside of her, threatening to overwhelm her. Elation. Disgust. Unconditional love. Anger. If she were being perfectly honest with herself, Leia did not know what to feel after seeing her son for so long.

He did not say anything, did not look at the woman who had carried him for nine months, who had birthed him, who had stayed up with him as he cried through the night. He did not so much as glance up at the woman who wept when he turned over to the dark side of the Force. He was shutting her out, just like he had done so often in their final days together.

But Leia needed to be closer to him, to her son.

She reached over to the locked cell block door, punching in the override code which would open it. As the door silently slide open, Leia made her way into the cold little cell. It was only when she entered the room that her son looked up at her. She stared hard at him as he lifted his gaze to meet hers; for the first time in years, her eyes met her sons.

And then she struck him.

His head whipped back to his left side, his dark mane cascading down his cheek as he recoiled from her. His hand clutched the growing red mark where her hand had his him. He looked up at her, a mixture of both horrified shock and approbation for her action. It was clear he did not think his mother capable of such an action. Leia looked down at her son, as he rubbed the mark that she gave him. Her shaking hand flew to her mouth, and she fell down to her knees as she let out a violent sob. How could she have done that?

"Ben, I –" She choked, but the rest of the words would not come out of her mouth. What could she say? What could she do to erase more than a decade of estrangement and resentment? "Ben, I am _sorry."_

Sorry for striking him. Sorry for allowing him to train under Luke. Sorry for not trying harder to win him back from Snoke. Sorry for not being strong enough to make him stay. Leia had a lot to be sorry for.

He did not say anything to her for a moment, but shifted in his seat when his mother used the name she had originally given him. The glaring red mark on his cheek burned Leia with shame. But she could not look away from the son who she had not seen in so long. He squirmed slightly under the gaze of his mother, and would not look her in the eye. Leia could hear her heart beating, pounding in her ears as she waited for her son to say something. To say _anything._

"I did not come here to rekindle any sort of relationship, general." His voice was cold and calculated when he finally spoke. He did not make eye contact with her again, but stared directly ahead at the cell door. "I only came to warn Rey of an impending attack on the planet."

 _I came here for her._ His words and their meaning hit her hard, stinging just like a slap in the face. She inhaled deeply as she regarded the stoic young man before her. She turned away from him, giving him the space he so desperately desired. He remained resistant to any sort of relationship, to the slight side of the Force, _to her._ But he was here now, instead of in the hands of that vile Snoke.

And that was all that mattered.

* * *

"Copy that, D'Qar Base. Carlac troops are mobilizing and will be there to assist you shortly." A disembodied voice from the Resistance communication system crackled through, confirming that now all of the surrounding Resistance satellite bases would help the D'Qar headquarters in their defense of the planet.

Rey could only hope that help would arrive in time.

She could not shake the bad feeling, the sense of dread that she could not shake since Kylo first informed her of the news. The foreboding pit in her stomach continued to knot her intestines. Despite the preparations, she could not shake the worry. When news of the impending attack spread, the base transformed into a hub bustling with activity. Commanders and soldiers alike were prepping for the worst, readying their own spacecraft to meet the enemy before they could establish a presence on the planet. It seemed as though everyone was doing their part for the protection of D'Qar. Absentmindedly, Rey grasped the lightsaber at her side, wondering when she would have to use it.

Luke Skywalker was not oblivious to the gesture. Putting a gentle hand on Rey's shoulder, he nodded towards the weapon, "You are ready to fight, Rey."

Rey cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. Of course she was ready to fight. She had always been ready to fight. But hearing the words come out of Luke's mouth brought her an odd sense of comfort. Her relationship with the Jedi before was strained at best, but his approval of her skills still made her proud. She gave him a small smile at his encouragement.

The moment between the Jedi and his former padawan was interrupted by the fervent thud of boots on the ground. Rey whirled around to see General Organa gliding towards the two of them. Her shoulders were square and her head held high, but her eyes were distant, and tired. Rey looked directly behind the general, hoping that someone would be following her entrance. But Leia had entered the room alone.

Leia eyed Rey as her shoulders fell at the realization, "He will remain confined in the holding cells until further notice."

"But we need him!" Rey erupted in protest, turning her head to Luke. She looked at him, pleadingly, "We do not have nearly enough people to defend ourselves. And Kylo – he has power. Power that we can use."

"We cannot trust him," Leia's pained voice echoed through the chamber, as officers stopped their own ask to watch the commotion. The Force sensitive trio could each feel the eyes of soldiers and commanders alike burning in to them, curious as to how the situation would resolve itself. Leia eyed the commanders, who all scurried back to the work they had forsaken to eavesdrop.

"But he's an enemy of the First Order now." Rey hissed, grinding her teeth together in frustration. This was not the time for Leia to force herself to be overly careful in her objectivity. Rey took a step forward towards the general, her fingers curling up into a fist. "He sacrificed everything for us."

Luke Skywalker took an authoritative step in between the general and Rey, putting a hand on each to quell their worries, "I still sense darkness in him, Leia. I cannot deny that simple truth. But I can also sense that his intentions here with us are good, and honorable. Search your heart, Leia, you will feel it too."

The general closed her eyes, inhaling deeply as she did so. After a few moment of silence, the general turned towards her brother, "Luke, are you sure about this?"

The old Jedi paused for a moment, reflecting on the predicament before them. Rey held her breath, knowing that the general would not consent to releasing Kylo Ren without Luke's recommendation. After what felt like hours of wasted time, Luke nodded his head and Rey exhaled sharply. Almost immediately, Rey sprang into action, "I will go to take care of it."

If either Luke or Leia let out a cry of protest, Rey did not hear it. She moved quickly, the severity of the current situation not lost on her. She navigated the web of dark tunnels that led back to the prison ward without any hesitation. Barging in to the cell block, Rey stormed passed all of the empty cells until she reached the one that contained Kylo.

Immediately upon her arrival, Kylo Ren looked up. "What are you doing here, Rey? Why aren't you preparing your defense? They will be here at any moment, you have to get ready."

Rey shook her head, punching in the access code to open the door in front of them, "We don't have enough people to defend the planet. Not if the attack will be as big as you say it is. We need all the help we can get."

As she unsuccessfully fumbled to try and get the door to the cell open, she could feel the earth quake beneath her feet. The sense of dread that she had felt all day now threatened to overwhelm her as the ground shook around them. Rey let out a muffled curse under her breath; the First Order's attack had begun.

With even more urgency now, Rey tried the access code again. Pressing the buttons with a renewed sense of vigor, she concentrated all of her efforts on that. _Come on, come on._ As she silently prayed for the code to be correct that time, she could hear the barely audible _click_ that the door made upon opening. She looked to the disgruntled man who stepped out of the glass cage, and she had to resist every last urge to wrap her arms around him.

There was no time for that now.

The invasion had begun.

"We have to find your light saber," Rey mumbled before she immediately began rummaging through drawers and lockers. Where would the Resistance have taken the damned thing? Swearing under her breath, Rey's search became more frantic than before. They needed to be out there helping to defend the Resistance.

"Here," Kylo's soft voice traveled from across the prison ward. He was standing in front of a now empty locker, holding the deadly weapon in his hand.

Their small victory was interrupted by another thunderous boom and a violent shake of the compound. As Rey tried to steady herself during the onslaught, she grabbed the dark knight's hand and began to sprint towards the compound's exit. The sooner that they were outside, the sooner they could begin their defense.

Both Rey and Kylo Ren maneuvered their way through the halls of the base, making their way to the front lines of the attack. As the fresh air hit them, they dodged the hail of blaster beams that rained down on them from the TIE fighters above.

"We need to find an x-wing," Rey called out to Kylo, "We need to take this fight to them. We're just sitting ducks here."

It was then that another thunderous roar distracted the two of them from their thoughts, and Rey looked up to find the source of the commotion. A Resistance x-wing had been struck, and was crashing right towards them. Rey's heart hammered as she sprinted in the opposite direction to avoid being hit by the rapidly falling debris. But she was not quick enough, as the impact of the collision sent her hurdling forward on to her stomach.

As she propped herself back upright, she could see storm troopers disembarking from a shuttle that had just landed. Already they were firing at will upon Resistance fighters. Steadying herself, Rey unsheathed the weapon at her side. The lightsaber hummed delicately, an eerie soundtrack to the carnage around her.

She deflected each oncoming shot from the storm troopers with her blade, running on autopilot as she tried to defend herself as best she could. It felt as though each grueling hour of training prepared her for this very moment. She whirled around, trying to cover each side so she could not be taken off guard.

It was then that she saw them.

Hooded in black cloaks, their features were masked by dark helmets. But even then, there was no mistaking who these figures were. Rey swallowed hard. This was the order that Kylo Ren had devoted so much of his adult life to. The Knights of Ren had landed on D'Qar.

She sprang into action, determined to limit the blood that the dreaded Knights of Ren would spill. Immediately, she was met by a hooded figure armed with an electrified staff. Rey swallowed as she ducked when the deadly weapon was swung at her. It missed her, but only by a few millimeters. It was not long before the weapon was brought down on her again. This time Rey was able to swing herself onto the wing of a broken fighter in an effort to dodge the attack. As her faceless opponent approached, Rey leapt from the x-wing and brought her saber down.

The hooded knight cried out in pain, gripping tight its right shoulder, where the blade had made its mark. Rey looked down at the knight, knowing that this was it. There was no cry, nor a plea for mercy. In fact, her opponent was still examining the wound that Rey had previously inflicted. With another swing of the light saber, she ended it.

Her first real kill.

Rey swallowed hard, but did not have time to dwell on the fact that she took someone's life. Almost as soon as one threat was neutralized, another appeared. Rey deflected the oncoming hail of blaster shots made in her direction, making sure that she was covering any Resistance fighter she could. But even she needed back up.

As she defended her position, her eyes searched the bloody battlefield for Kylo Ren.

But he was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

It was not long after the remaining Knights of Ren landed that Jaxus Ren sought Kylo out. Almost immediately, Kylo could sense his opponent's anticipation, his excitement, at finally battling his former commander. He could sense, almost immediately, that the new leader of the Knights of Ren wanted to face Kylo alone.

And he was only happy to oblige.

As soon as Kylo sensed the Knights of Ren landing on D'Qar, he immediately set out to separate himself from Rey. Jaxus would first concern himself with his former master, and not the scavenger. And so Kylo dodged through the hail storm of blaster beams that rained down upon him, navigating the chaos of the battle on the ground, until he could find shelter in an abandoned generator room. It was not long after his own arrival that Jaxus Ren followed him in to the dark area.

"It is so good to see you, Lord Ren," Jaxus sneered, and although his face was masked by the unadorned dark helmet, there was no doubt that a smile was etched on his insufferable face. Jaxus took a step forward and pulled out a rather unassuming weapon from his dark cloak. But almost immediately, the meek cylinder tube began to sprout a rather long tentacle that softly hummed as electricity pulsed through it. Kylo raised his eyebrows; this was a rather new weapon for the new leader.

Kylo ignited the red saber at his side, but he did not move quickly enough. Jaxus raised his whip towards Kylo and brought it down with full, unyielding force. It snapped him on the shoulder with a rather loud _crack._ Kylo let out a small grunt at the aftermath of the hit; the initial pain of the impact was only enhanced by the electric shock that was sent pulsing through his body. The charge made him feel uneasy, uncertain of himself and his footing. But this was not the time to be weak. Closing his eyes momentarily, Kylo willed the pain to leave his body, leaving him better prepared to face Jaxus.

"Look at you, Lord Ren, you have gone all soft." Jaxus scoffed once more.

Standing up straighter, Kylo Ren unsheathed the red saber that had been idle at his side. Raising the weapon, he charged at his sneering opponent. Jaxus raised his whip quickly once again, but Kylo was able to anticipate the move. Raising his palm, Kylo froze the whip in mid-air. It stopped almost immediately in its place, the electric pulse throughout the whip humming quietly in its frozen state. Jaxus raised his eyes to the now frozen weapon, and there was no disguising the hint of panic at the new development. Kylo's lips curled up into a half smile at his opponent's obvious discomfort, "I will always be more powerful than you."

Jaxus released his hold on the weapon, and his hand flew to the black utility belt at his waist. He unsheathed a small dagger, a rather rudimentary choice. With a loud cry, the knight violently charged at Kylo. With an elegant swerve to the right, he was able to deflect the oncoming attack. But Jaxus was quick, and raised his arm to bring the knife down. Kylo grabbed the arm, barely able to stop the knife from making contact with the leathers that he was wearing. When it came to physical force, there was no doubt that Jaxus surpassed him.

But his movements were frantic, undisciplined and Kylo was easily able to dodge any attack he posed. With a quick flick of Kylo's wrist, the knife flew from his opponent's hands and landed on the cold metal floor of the generator room with a loud _clank._ The disarmament did not seem to surprise Jaxus, but rather sent him into a fit of uncontrolled rage. The knight launched himself at Kylo with such brute force that both men went toppling over onto the floor.

After Kylo's balance was compromised, Jaxus was able to gain the upper hand. The knight wrapped his bare hands around Kylo's throat. Despite the building pressure on his airway, Kylo used his own fists to attempt to dislodge his opponent's grip. It was an exercise in futility; Jaxus was able to physically overpower him. As the pressure increased on his windpipe, Kylo's vision began to tunnel.

It was getting more and more difficult to concentrate….

Using a combination of all of his concentration, willpower, and adrenaline, Kylo Ren channeled enough energy to send Jaxus flying back in full force, hitting the wall of the abandoned generator room with a loud thud. Kylo let out a gasp as the powerful hands that were blocking his airway were finally removed. His heart was beating so loud that he could hear it, and he took a moment to regain his usually stoic composure. He glanced sideways at Jaxus Ren; the force of the impact had him slumped over and his head down.

Carefully, Kylo Ren got to his feet and slowly walked to his opponent. As he stood, the lightsaber that had fallen so carelessly on the floor flew into his hand. With one swift move, he ignited the erratic blade and brought it down upon his enemy.

Jaxus Ren was no more.

He breathed in deeply, using all of the tricks his former master taught him in controlling the blinding rage at his once promising second in command. He would be of no use to the Resistance if he became sloppy in his anger. No – he had to channel it, use it to his advantage. He inhaled again, before stumbling slightly out of the generator room. A battle was still ongoing, and Rey still needed his help.

The natural light of D'Qar's atmosphere, contrasted so vividly with the dim lighting of the generator room, disoriented him momentarily. As his eyes adjusted to the bright light, he was able to see the battle all around him. Bodies lay scattered on the floor, both Resistance and First Order members alike. Kylo swallowed hard, his eyes searching the sea of causalities for the one face that truly mattered to him.

He found her, regrouping with Luke Skywalker as the battle died down, clutching her right shoulder. Even from the distance, he could see the dark red stain on the surrounding cloth. He could feel his anger rising again, dangerously close to his boiling point. It was then that Rey's eyes lifted to meet her own. Her face curled into a smile, and her shoulders dropped considerably. After noticing a change in her demeanor, Skywalker turned to see what caused such a transformation. For a brief moment, Kylo locked eyes with his uncle. Skywalker nodded once in gratitude, and Kylo subtly returned the gesture. Truth be told, he did not have the time for such pleasantries with his uncle. He had much more important matters to discuss. Without any hesitation, he stormed towards her.

"You're okay," His words came out as a quiet breath of air. He reached out, stroking her flushed cheek, proving to himself that it really was her.

Rey swallowed, "For the most part. I was a lot luckier than most." Her eyes shifted across the battlefield as Resistance members regrouped. There were only a few remaining storm troopers left on the ground, most of which were being engaged by the Resistance's best soldiers.

But Kylo Ren could not shake the feeling that things were not over yet.

It was then that he felt it. It was not the low rumble of the large ship entering the atmosphere that made all of the color drain from his face. Nor was it the rallying cry of the remaining storm troopers that made his throat go dry as a bone. Looking up to an equally white faced Rey, Kylo rasped out, "Supreme Leader Snoke is here."

 **Author's Note: This is it! Only one chapter more to go!**


	23. Ends and Beginnings

**Balance**

 **Summary** : Light and dark. Good and evil. Love and hate. The force was all about balance. And yet, neither of them knew where they stood.

 **Author's Note** : Wow – I cannot believe that we are here! The very last chapter of Balance. To think, I started this a year ago on December 20th, and the final chapter is up December 19th. I debated waiting an extra day, but figured that you have waited long enough for this. My apologies for the wait, but real life seemed to get the best of me.

I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who has stuck by this fic. Through the writer's block and rough times, you kept me going. All of my loyal readers and reviewers – thank you so much!

If you like what you read here, or want to explore a dark side to Rey, I really hope you check out my other fic, This Awful Energy! That will be updated again sometime within the week.

Anyway, on with the final chapter!

* * *

 **Chapter Twenty-Three:** Ends and Beginnings

Rey could feel it, too: the horrific pulsing of the deadly, dark power that belonged to Supreme Leader Snoke. Almost immediately upon that appalling realization, Rey's stomach began to retch uncontrollably as both dread and loathing overtook her. _You need to breathe,_ she instructed herself as she inhaled deeply through her nose. She attempted to practice the self-regulation exercises that Luke Skywalker had tried in vain to teach her. But all attempts at achieving such a peace were futile. There was too much for her to try and push out of her mind. Too much anxiety over the situation at hand. Her eyes darted around the scene before her, looking on helplessly as members of the Resistance tried to round up the last of any storm troopers who still lingered on the planet. Finally, her eyes moved to the one person she could not bring herself to look at: Kylo Ren.

His face was stoic, betraying absolutely no emotion to anyone who dared to look his way.

But Rey knew better. She could easily sense that, on the inside, Kylo Ren was fighting a war within himself. She could feel the anticipation and desire to prove himself rise up like a wave, only to come crashing down as it was met with equally powerful dread. The dread of knowing he would have to come face to face with his former master. She tried to each for his hand, her voice softly pleading, "You do not have to do it, you know. You don't have to face him. There are more than enough of us here."

But even as the words came out of her mouth, she could sense their hollowness.

Of course, it had to be him.

"Rey is right," Leia Organa added, as she charged towards where Luke and his two former padawans had been standing. Her hair was disheveled and war torn, her face was painted with a combination of both dirt and blood. But even in her current state, her strength and determination forced their way into the forefront. Leia Organa was fierce in her command, "You cannot go. I have only just gotten you back, and I will be damned if I allow myself to lose you again."

Kylo's eyes rose to meet his mother's. It was almost as if a switched had flipped inside of him, a rebellion against the ferocity of his mother, "You do not get to make that decision for me, Leia."

His words cut through the air like a knife, sharpened with years of building resentment. Rey inhaled sharply as she watched Kylo stand taller, openly defying his mother's pleas. Remnants of the battle continued around them, as Resistance fighters fought off the last of the First Order soldiers. Chaos till surrounded them on all sides. But Rey could only watch the two equally fierce people in front of her with baited breath.

"Like hell I do," Leia replied, her voice taking on a renewed sense of authority, one that had been absent since her son had returned to the Resistance. "I am a general of the Resistance, and I am _ordering_ you to stand down. This is not just your fight."

"And I," Kylo spat back, his words echoing her ferociousness with his own, "Am the only one who has extensive experience with the Supreme Leader. I have trained with him, studied with him. He was grooming me to help him to rule the galaxy. More than anyone, I would know how to fight him. It is me that he is here for, and it is me who will be the one to fight him."

"That is exactly why you cannot go," Leia hissed through gritted teeth. She took another step closer to her son. Although she was a head shorter than him, she undoubtedly matched him in ferocity in that very moment. "He sees nothing but his greatest betrayal in you, and he will stop at nothing to kill you. To make you suffer in the worst ways imaginable-."

"I ha-"

Leia shook her head, interrupting her son with a hiss, "I have already lost your father. Do you really want me to go through that again?"

Up until that very moment, Kylo Ren had been matching Leia Organa in both ferocity and words. But now, he seemed to shrink back at his mother's reproach. His menacing and hostile tone disappeared entirely, and for a short while, Kylo Ren was utterly speechless. He eyed his mother carefully, keeping his emotions even. Seconds passed before Kylo Ren finally pleaded, "It – it has to be me. He won't accept anything else."

The general was about to open her mouth, and spit out another fiery reply. But a voice that, up until that point, had remained silent finally spoke up, "Leia, he is the one who has to go. You _know_ that it cannot be any other way."

"But he's just a boy." The general whispered as she looked to her twin. She pleadingly looked at the Jedi, but Luke did not break at his sister's tone.

"Wasn't I when I had to face Vader?" Although he addressed his sister, Luke Skywalker's gaze was locked on to his nephew, "We must put our faith in him to be strong enough to do the right thing. To be strong enough to face him."

The warning in his words were clear enough: they were counting on him to not abandon them. Kylo Ren raised his eyes to meet the gaze of his uncle. Kylo only nodded solemnly at the old Jedi, understanding the rebuke in his tone. Rey watched the exchange unfold in front of her unsure of what, if anything she could say to help Kylo in that situation.

"I will go with you," The words escaped Rey's lip before she even had a chance to think about them. But she could not leave Kylo to face Snoke all by himself. It would be difficult to deal with facing a former master, even if that master was not as powerful as Snoke. She could not let him do that alone.

Kylo's eyes went wide at her offer. But as the enormity of exactly what Rey was offering began to sink in, he could only shake his head. "No, I cannot allow you to put yourself in harm's way because of me. Snoke wants me, and this is something that I must do alone."

Rey swallowed her own word of protest; Kylo Ren was not going to allow anyone else to fight this battle for him. No matter how deeply Rey wanted to be there for him, she could not. He was right; this was a battle that he had to fight on his own. But she reached out her hand and grabbed his, hoping that the contact would bring some small sense of comfort to him. As she did, he could not help but notice that Luke eyed the movement curiously. But she did not care; her only concern was the comfort of the young knight in front of her.

But instead of bringing relief, his hand tensed under her touch. She watched as his entire body went rigid. Rey opened her mouth to speak, but Kylo looked at her with wide eyes. And in those wide eyes, she could see his terror, "I- I can feel him. He is calling for me to come to him."

Luke Skywalker inhaled sharply, "It is time."

Rey's stomach dropped, and the nauseous feeling that had plagued since she first felt the presence of Supreme Leader Snoke returned. Kylo's once tense grip now firmly held her hand as he turned to her with pleading eyes, "Will you walk with me for a while?"

Rey was in absolutely no position to refuse, and she would not have wanted to. Before she could even make a move, she watched as General Organa wrapped her arms around her visibly uncomfortable son. Kylo shifted under the weight of his mother, before finally returning the gesture with a gentle pat on her shoulders. Leia brought her mouth to her son's ear, whispering something that Rey could not make out. In response, Kylo only nodded to his mother before finally breaking the embrace.

Without another word, Rey followed him away from the curious gaze of the Resistance fighters and his family.

The further and further the pair got from the battleground, the heavier the weight placed on Kylo seemed. Rey could feel it permeating everything around them. Kylo was quiet, looking straight ahead of himself. She could not sense how far they had to go, only Kylo seemed to be able to feel Snoke. And so, she could only follow.

For what seemed like ages, the pair walked together in complete silence. Rey's mind was racing with a million things that she could possibly say. And yet, nothing seemed right.

But it was Kylo Ren who was the first to break the silence.

"I do not know if I will be able to beat him," His words cut through the forest's thick silence like a knife. He inhaled deeply, "I'm frightened that I won't."

Rey swallowed; she did not want to admit that she had the same fear as well. Instead, she stopped walking. Kylo continued only a few paces before realizing that Rey was no longer following closely behind him. He turned, the confusion etched so clearly on his features. Rey's heart was hammering in her chest as she took in all of his features, from the fall of his hair to the scar painted across his face. She did not know when, or if, she would ever get to look upon him as closely again. She stared at him, unable to resist the urge to reach out and touch him. She could feel something inside of him collapse entirely as her hand grazed his cheek. Tears threatened to escape from her eyes, but she refused to let them flow; she had to be strong for him here.

Rey's throat was dry as she fought back the tears. Looking up at Kylo, she managed to croak, "Make sure you come back."

His eyes met hers after what seemed like the first time in forever. It pained her to think that it may also be the last time. But he nodded and lowered his lips to hers, sealing his silent promise to return to her. He grabbed her hand that was still delicately grazing her cheek, squeezing it gently. He looked down at her, his voice breaking, "I love you,"

His words broke her, and the tears began to freely flow. But she could not help but smile at his words, and the promise that he would finish this once and for all and return to her. They would have to carry her until then. She looked up at him, a small smile creeping on her face, a glimmer of hope, "I know."

* * *

Kylo Ren said his goodbyes to Rey, vowing that he would do everything that he could to make it back to her. And he had not lied: he would truly do everything in his power to defeat his former mentor and return. But now, as he left her back in the safety of the untainted D'Qar forest, he could feel the doubt once again creeping into his mind. The thoughts ate away at him, as he could feel Supreme Leader Snoke's power more and more potently the further he made his way into the forest. It was overwhelming now, a solemn reminder of just how strong his former mentor truly was.

And just how futile this attempt would be.

It was not long before he could truly _feel_ Supreme Leader Snoke. He was so close, Kylo could sense it by the way his stomach violently twisted. Soon enough, he could see the frail looking old man in the darkness of the tree line just ahead of him. Supreme Leader Snoke was much smaller than the imposing hologram that he had conversed with on numerous occasions. Upon a mere glance, no man would think that such a feeble old man could be such a threat. But Kylo knew better than most men.

"I knew you would come, Kylo Ren." Snoke's voice carried across the clearing, echoing off of the many trees that surrounded the two of them. It sounded as if he was so close, as if Supreme Leader Snoke was right behind him. The thought unnerved him, as he could see clearly the old man standing a hundred yards away from him.

Even so, his voice sounded eerily close as his former teacher continued, "Have you come to grovel for your life, Lord Ren? To beg for mercy for you and your little pet?"

Kylo did not say anything as he approached the Supreme Leader. His grip on the hilt of his lightsaber tightened, as he readied himself to spring into action whenever necessary. He was close enough now to see the amused smile on the old man's face. It was sinister, dark, and it sent chills of terror up his spine.

"You always held so much promise, Ren." Snoke mused, before his raspy voice turned dark and violent, "But you have fallen to the light. Betrayed me and your order. Everything you have worked so hard to build. It is all gone. When I have the entire galaxy at my command, it was supposed to be you at my side. You, the next Darth Vader."

Kylo Ren froze at the mention of his grandfather's moniker; a name that had held such power. It was something he had always been drawn too – to one day hold as much power as the great Darth Vader had. He idolized the man, after being presented with his helmet by the Supreme Leader himself. He was still picturing the charred mask that he had left behind when Snoke spoke again, "You murdered Han Solo, your own father. And for what? Nothing."

The Supreme Leader's words were intended to sting, to wrench in his gut as he pictured the look on his father's face as life left him. And yet, the words had little effect on hm. He supposed he should feel guilty for Han Solo's death – and yet he still felt little for the man who had been absent for most of his childhood. The thought jarred him, and he wondered if he had made the right decision in defecting from the First Order. After all, he still could not bring himself to feel guilt for his father's murder. Perhaps the Resistance was not the correct place for him.

 _Make sure you come back._

Her voice echoed inside of his mind, a reminder of the promise he had made. He could picture Rey now; the upward curve of her lips and the tenderness of her touch. Kylo Ren swallowed; yes, he had made the right choice.

He had chosen her.

"And yet," Snoke continued, "You could still redeem yourself, Lord Ren. Come back to my side, and all will be as before."

" _No._ " Kylo hissed through gritted teeth, "Never."

What came next hit Kylo like a Hutt. Before he could even processing what was happening, he found himself being flung into the air. His arms forcibly outstretched, Kylo Ren was powerless to move. He had been on the receiving end of the Supreme Leader's powers, but never on this scale before. He hovered their alone for what felt like an eternity, his muscles aching from the strain each passing second. Snoke approached, walking calmly as Ren hovered in the air above. "You dare to reject my generosity?"

He was about to reply, but just as quickly as he was flung into the air, he could not feel himself violently dropping. He hit the ground with a loud _thud,_ and he could feel the air being knocked out his lungs on impact _._ Kylo tried to regain his composure, but he struggled to prop himself up on his hands and knees. He inhaled deeply, but his lungs burned as did.

"Such a pity," The raspy voice of Supreme Leader Snoke echoed around him once again, "You had such promise. Both you and the girl."

As if on command, a high-pitched shriek penetrated the sounds of the forest. From his position on the ground, Kylo's eyes went wide. He would know that voice anywhere. "Rey?" He called out, as he searched around for the source of the distressing yell.

He stood up, and the scenery around him seemed to fade into something entirely new. He could only partially make out the remnants of x-wings and broken down TIE fighters. In the distance, just above the smoke line, he could see the charred remains of the satellite tower. He was away from Snoke, and back at the Resistance base.

Only now, it was burning.

Storm troopers flooded the base camp around him, taking out remaining Resistance fighters. Out of the corner of his eye, Kylo could see a pilot put his hands up in surrender. He could only watch helplessly as the storm trooper gladly accepted the surrender by shoving an electric staff directly into the heart of the unarmed pilot. Kylo's mouth hung open, horrified at the scene in front of him.

Another ear-piercing scream disturbed his wonder at the battleground in front of him: he had to find Rey. His eyes searched the perimeter of the base, looking for any sign of her. And yet, there was nothing to be found. He ran, amidst the fallen bodies of Resistance fighters and the smell of burning flesh. He had to find her, he would not leave her to a fate at the hands of Supreme Leader Snoke.

He tried to reach out in his mind, to sense where she could be, and to call her to him – but all attempts at such were in vain. He could vaguely feeling her presence, but it was so weak. Either Snoke was blocking him from reaching out to her, or she was truly gone.

The sound of an explosion, and the feeling of its heat upon his skin, broke Kylo Ren from his concentration. He turned to view the source of his new chaos, and what he saw made his stomach drop. Only ten feet from the explosion, he could see Rey laying strewn across the ground. Her leggings and tunic were singed from the blast, but the unconscious form on the ground was clearly her.

He ran over towards her, kneeling at her side. _Oh no._ He reached out to touch her, _please no._ He reached out, this time through the Force, to try and sense the extent of the damage. But he could not feel anything coming from the girl in his arms.

She was gone.

Kylo Ren cradled Rey in his arms, unyielding agony washing over and radiating from him. Is this how his mother felt when his father had died? The only person who ever truly cared for him, the real him. Not some idealized version of himself. Rey had accepted hi and all of his flaws, knowing full well who he truly was.

"You can save her, you know." A raspy voice slithered out from the corners of his mind, "Join me, and the girl will remain safely by your side."

Supreme Leader Snoke's offer coiled like a serpent around Kylo's brain as he looked at Rey in front of him. Her cheeks were still flush from the battle that surrounded her; she looked as if she was only sleeping. As if all of this could just be some horrible dream.

"It could just be a dream," Snoke whispered; Kylo could feel the old man's breathe on the back of his neck, "You could chose to end this nightmare and save her. Just join me, and I will bring her back to you."

Kylo Ren closed his eyes, trying to picture the young woman before her vibrant and full of life. He would do anything to make that happen. Kylo looked to the frail man standing behind him. He had a sinister smile strewn across his face. He was so close to having her back; he could picture it now. He and Rey together on a First Order base, living out their days together. Even now, he could smell the sweetness of her hair.

"Kylo!"

Even now, he could hear her calling his name. He was so close to having her back with him, it all felt so real.

"Kylo!" He was no longer imagining hearing her voice. His head whipped around, and the burning battleground disappeared from view. He was back in the forest on the outskirts of the Resistance fortress. He looked down in his arms, expecting to see Rey's lifeless body. But that had disappeared as well. "Are you okay?"

He blinked for a few moments at the figure running towards him. Only a few moments ago, he had been convinced that she was dead. But Rey sprinted towards him, running into his arms. She was really there, and very much alive. He reached out, his fingers grazing her temple, "What are you doing here?"

"I could feel that something – I don't know what it was – but something just wasn't _right._ I could feel you trying to reach me, but it was all so cloudy. Confusing" She explained, her eyes darting around the forest. "I just knew that I had to come."

"How touching," Supreme Leader Snoke's distinctive voice croaked from a distance, "Now I can kill you both."

Kylo stood up, his legs still shaking from the fall. But he would not let anything happen to the young woman behind him. Grabbing the hilt of his lightsaber, he removed it from the secure position on his belt and ignited it. The comforting hum of the blade seemed to remove everything else from the world around him. His focus narrowed to the man standing in front of him. Kylo Ren charged at the unarmed old man, his light saber flying gracefully as he swung it though the air. He was about to bring it down upon the unarmed man, when he felt himself turn rigid.

Snoke, with his hand outstretch, stopped him from moving and ending the fight once and for all. Kylo fought Snoke's power as hard as he could, sweat beading up on his forehead from the exertion. His red saber continued to hum, taunting him with how close he had actually come to ending Snoke. "Do not think that you can surpass your master."

In one fell swoop, Kylo's muscles loosened, and he was able to move. But as he began to bring his weapon down upon Snoke, his body was once again lifted violently into the air. With the flick of his wrist, Supreme Leader Snoke was able to send him flying into the solid trunk of a tree. The impact of the crash caused him to fall face down.

"No!" He could hear Rey's voice call out to him. But he could not lift his head to look over at her. The shock from the impact made it too difficult to move. All he could do was listen.

Leaves crushed under panicked feet, and a new saber was ignited. He could hear the unmistakable throaty chuckle of Supreme Leader Snoke, and he feared for the worst.

* * *

Rey was running on autopilot from the moment she saw Kylo fall to the ground. It took everything in her to stop from running to his side and making sure that he was alright. At the moment, however, she had a duty to a greater cause. Something that was more important than either of them.

Rey lifted her own saber from her side, desperate to end things once and for all. Snoke chuckled at her audacity. She did not even have to try to guess what he was thinking. The untrained little girl in front of him had enough nerve to try and face him. Rey knew the odds were stacked against her but she had to try. Lightsaber in hand, she charged towards Snoke. Unlike Kylo before her, Rey was able to run to him without issue. She charged, a guttural battle cry escaping from her mouth. As she neared to him, she brought her saber down with an increased fervor.

But before she even knew what was happening, the weapon flew from her hands and landed in the leaves with a soft _thud._ She looked to see where it had fallen, hoping to call it back to her. But before she could see anything, a white hand coiled around her throat. Rey gasped as she came face to face with Supreme Leader Snoke.

With his grip on her throat tightening, Snoke eyed her curiously, "So much power in you. Such a pity that you will have to die."

Rey lifted her own hands, clawing at the old man as she tried to escape. But it was no use; his power was far too strong for her to fight against. The corner of her vision started to darken considerably, and her attempts at clawing her way out of Snoke's grip became weaker. The old man smirked, lost in his enjoyment of her pain.

This was it; she was going to die.

Her eyes travelled to the spot were Kylo Ren had fallen, read to say her last goodbyes to the man she had so quickly and unexpectedly fallen in love with.

But her eyes widened when she realized he was no longer there.

Before she could even process what was happening, she could hear the distinctive hum of his erratic lightsaber coming from behind. Snoke's grip on her loosened, enough for her to dart away from his vice-like grip as he pivoted to stop Kylo's onslaught.

But it was too late. With one fell swoop, Kylo Ren brought his red saber down on Snoke.

Rey watched on as the old man's body collapsed from underneath him. There was no scream, no blood curdling anguish. The old man simply just crumpled into a heap on the forest floor. Everything, even the ambient sounds of D'Qar's fauna, had fallen completely silent at Smoke's demise. Kylo Ren staggered back, away from the body of his former master. His eyes were wide with disbelief at what he had just done.

Rey took a cautious step towards him. He was undoubtedly in shock.

She reached out, putting a hand on his shoulder. Underneath her touch, his shoulder collapsed as if a heavy weight had been lifted off of them. He did not turn to look at her, but kept his gaze fixed on the corpse in front of him. "It is finally done."

Rey slipped her hand in his, giving it a gentle and reassuring squeeze. She kept her eyes fixed on Kylo, "Yes, it's finally done."

He ripped his eyes away from the body in front of them, and brought his hand to her cheek. His fingers grazed them gently, as if he was checking to make sure this was real and not an illusion. Rey smiled at him, as the world suddenly felt a little bit lighter. But Kylo Ren did not seem to share in that joy, "What will happen now? The Resistance – it is no place for me."

Rey paused for a moment; she had not considered what would happen if they had actually succeeded in their endeavors to stop Supreme Leader Snoke. Did she even have a place with the Resistance anymore? She thought about Luke; while she worked with him these last few hours, she could still not fully forgive him for his actions in the past. No, she could not trust him again.

She did not need him.

She looked to the one person she truly did need, "We don't have to go back. We have a whole galaxy ahead of us."

Kylo Ren smiled down at her before bringing his lips to hers.


End file.
